Before the Worst
by DevonAshleigh
Summary: Bella and Edward were deeply in love when Edward unexpectedly leaves her. Four years later, he returns to Seattle to find out exactly what and whom he left behind. Gotta love Daddyward. First story. Future lemony goodness. AH Canon Pairings B/E A/J R/EM!
1. Prologue

**Before the Worst  
Prologue**

_It's been a while since the two of us talked_  
_About a week since the day you walked_  
_Knowing things would never be the same_  
_With your empty heart and mine full of pain_  
_So explain to me, how it came to this_

"Edward Cullen was everything. He was generous, kind, hard-working, beautiful and incredibly intelligent. I loved him fiercely and in turn, he gave me the world. He was utterly selfless in every aspect of his life including our relationship. His family was pure. They made me feel whole and safe. He was my life. I was so blinded by how perfect everything was that I never saw when the other shoe dropped. It dropped so hard it broke through our pristine hard wood floors and rolled onto the sidewalk in China.

I guess I should back up a little, before the worst thing imaginable happened. I started out as a junior in college when I met him. I majored in Marketing and Event planning at University of Washington. He was just finishing up his last years in medical school at the same university. He was hoping to become a doctor in emergency medicine just like his father had been. We met unexpectedly at a spring mixer for my sorority, but I'll tell you all about that a little later. We fell hard and passionately in love in a matter of months.

I had left my family behind when I went to university. Charlie was in Phoenix with Renee, trying to mend their relationship after ten years of seperation. When I graduated high school after living in Forks with my father, they reignited a spark that should have continued to be buried. They were trying out a failed high school romance and are still trying to this day, despite my concerns. In the end, I just want to see them happy.

After all my preconceived notions about marriage, relationships and heartbreak, you'd think I would have backed away from Edward, but I did the exact opposite. I let him show me a life I never had dreamed of. He launched me into his welcoming family. A family of two siblings happily married with children. A family of Sunday dinners and cocktail parties catered to the elite. He offered me a complete life for the taking. A life that consisted of money, cars, travel, midnight walks and incredible passion.

We had most of the same interests. We would talk for hours about music, art and books. Edward would tell me about his childhood and I would tell him about mine. My erratic mother and strong-willed father both loved him to pieces. He was the son they never had. Everything was moving quickly and perfectly. It didn't matter to me whether or not we were married or living together. It only mattered that he was in my life and loved me.

I began a small event planning firm with Edward's sister Alice Whitlock and his sister-in-law Rosalie Cullen. They are my best friends still to this day. We talk about everything from expiry dates on milk cartons to the accuracy of this month's issue of Cosmo. Alice is my ever -loving pixie with endless energy, while Rosalie is my strong and loyal partner. Both of these girls are my best friends and I could never live without them.

I don't know what happened to Edward Cullen, but I doubt I'll ever see him again. He left, and took my heart with him. I will spend forever looking for the pieces, and hoping to find some true sense of self and happiness. For now, I'll live out my days still running my incredible business with my best girl friends. I own my own white house with a picket fence and the golden retriever playing in the front lawn. I earned it all myself and I couldn't be happier."

I brushed my lips against her beautiful bronze locks. "Someday you'll understand why I continue to tell you this story, but for now, sleep well my angel."

I got up and pushed the covers around her, effectively tucking her in. I turned on her night light and shut off the main light just in time to see her striking green eyes close with fatigue. I stood in the doorframe and looked on at her peaceful form in her new princess bed that Aunty Alice picked out.

I whispered, only low enough for me to hear. "You are everything Grace. One day you'll forgive me and know that everything I do, I do it for you. Edward would have loved his little princess."

I closed the door silently and shuffled back to my bedroom with Bailey, my golden retriever. I got undressed, brushed my teeth and pulled back the duvet on my king sized bed. Bailey jumped up and sprawled out taking up half of the loneliness I felt in this massive bed. I cried myself to sleep that night, hoping that even four years later, I made the right choice.

* * *

**A/N - This is just the beginning I promise! It is an awkward prologue the way that Bella is telling the story, but it gives a little tidbit into her life. It is supposed to be choppy and emotional so I hope that's how it kinda sounds. The next chapter, I will get into some dialogue into her present life, more about Grace and the bedtime stories will continue. I will write it as if the bedtime stories are flashbacks into more about her and Edward. Also Mr. Sex God himself will show up with a big WTF! Haha... Be kind it's my first story and I am beta-less :( Review, or no later lemons for you ;)**


	2. Chapter 1 Need you Now

**Before the Worst  
****Chapter 1 – Need you Now**

_Picture perfect memories,_

_Scattered all around the floor._

_Reaching for the phone cause, I can't fight it any more._

_And I wonder if I ever cross your mind._

_For me it happens all the time._

"RISE AND SHINE MOMMY," Grace screamed.

"Ughhhh….go back to bed Gracie baby," I yawned loudly and rolled toward her. I checked the clock that currently read 7:42am on a beautiful Saturday morning.

"No Mommy! I want pancakes and maple ssshryup and booberrys and waffles and –"

"Okay, Okay," I said cutting her off. "I will make breakfast if…. you can get away from the tickle monster in time!"

I leapt up and grabbed her little sides carefully while moving my fingers up and down them. She squealed loudly and threw her arms in every direction while trying to get away from me. I grabbed her and pulled her underneath the covers, snuggling her up to my side.

"Mmm, Mommy loves you baby," I said smelling her hair. She smelled incredible, like a mix of strawberries, mint and cinnamon.

"No fair," She huffed. "You got me 'afore I had the chance to run!"

"Alright well next time, I'll give you fair warning. Now let's go downstairs and get some breakfast before Aunty Alice and Aunty Rosalie come over."

"YAY," Grace yelled while climbing down off the bed. She ran down the stairs with Bailey following close behind her.

I got up out of bed and dug my heels into my fuzzy slippers. The cold May air left the hardwood floors chilly especially while sleeping with the window open. I closed the window and looked out onto the vast yard. Sam, our gardener, was already outside trimming the lawn on the riding lawn mower. I waved to him in greeting and he smiled and waved back. I'm sure he was appreciative of me letting him off early yesterday to be home with his wife for their tenth wedding anniversary.

I headed downstairs toward the noise of my beautiful daughter pounding on the island in the kitchen with a spatula while colouring.

"I'm here Gracie, there's no need to bang around," I said while taking the spatula off her.

I fed Bailey her kibble, let her outside and got to work on the pancake mix. I knew that Rosalie and Alice were supposed to be here in twenty minutes for our weekly Saturday morning breakfast, so I put on a little extra.

"Mommy?" Gracie asked while looking up from her colouring.

"Yes, my love" I answered as I put the batter on the griddle.

"How come Aunty Alice is getting fat?"

I almost spit out the orange juice I was drinking right onto the griddle. I took a moment to compose myself while wiping my mouth with the back of my pajama shirt. "Well Hun," I began. "Aunty Alice has a baby in her tummy. It's not fat."

"Does that mean I'll get a new cousin to play with like when Henry came?"

Henry was Rosalie's son who was born last year in July. Rosalie and Emmett now have three sons within the five years that they have been married. Rosalie loves being pregnant and has been "spitting" them out consecutively since Emmett gave her the go-ahead.

"Yes, Gracie baby. Just like Henry, Liam and Seth." I flipped the pancakes over so that they would brown on the other side while I grabbed the washed blueberries from the fridge. I set them down on the island in front of Gracie along with the butter, a place setting and the syrup.

"I decided I want a girl this time," Grace said while she sat up taller in her chair.

"Well, we will just have to make a request to Aunty Alice then won't we?"

Grace nodded and pushed aside her colouring to take a bite of her newly acquired pancakes.

Just as her fork hit the first bite, I heard the front door open in the foyer.

"HELLO, HELLO! Make way! Pregnant and hungry comin' through!"

"Oh Alice, you've always been hungry. You can't just start using pregnancy as an excuse you porker," Rosalie stated while she glanced down at her perfectly manicured nails.

I set down two more place settings and put the pancakes on the plates. "Now, now ladies. Everyone play nice."

Alice sat down on the barstool at the island next to Gracie and gave her a big hug. Her baby bump had just started showing against her small frame. At a whopping five feet, Alice looks like she swallowed a basketball that was undetectable from behind.

"Hello Miss Grace Cullen. How are ya' baby?" Alice asked while putting her purse down on the floor beside her.

"I'm good, thank you," Gracie answered timidly while eating her pancakes. Her fork was completely the wrong way in her hand and it was utterly endearing.

"Where's my pancakes biznitch?"

"Rosalie, what a creative way to use the b-word around my niece. Kudos," Alice praised while giving her a high-five.

"They are coming right now Rose." I huffed while plopping them down on her and Alice's plates. I leaned against the countertop with my arms folded while watching Gracie eat.

"He's here you know." Alice said after a few minutes while breaking the comfortable silence.

"I know," I answered quietly. All of a sudden my feet became the most interesting things in the world.

"I'm surprised you haven't seen him yet. He's been here for over two months now working at Seattle General. You must make weekly trips there with all your clumsiness," Rosalie interjected. She took a huge bite of her breakfast making her almost spill the syrup all over her designer shirt.

"Yeah, you can't avoid him forever. He's been asking you about you."

"I know, Ali. I can't exactly show up at his doorstep with Gracie in tow. 'Hey, this is your kid I was going to tell you about before you left me. How was your trip?'" I was angry at their nonchalance about the whole ordeal. They acted like they didn't take care of me for months before Grace was born; like they weren't in the delivery room when I made the impulse decision to give her his last name despite her later questioning.

"He deserves a right to know at least." Rosalie pushed her plate away and gave me a hard glare. I knew that if the situation was in reverse, she would have told Emmett the second the words about a break-up were uttered. I just couldn't do that to Edward. If he wanted to leave, then so be it. I could do this on my own and have successfully done it for four years already without his help or money. I would be damned before I told him I was pregnant and feel like he had been trapped into being with me.

"Gracie honey, now that you're finished can you go play with Bailey upstairs in your room? I know she loves to watch you play with your dolls."

"Sure, Mommy." Gracie pushed away her colouring and hoped down off the high bar stool with the help of Aunty Alice. She ran through the house and up the wooden staircase with Bailey close behind.

When she was safely in her room with the door closed, I began, "Alice. Rosalie. I can't keep coming back to this discussion with you guys." I tried to keep my voice as steady as I could with the tears threatening to break through. "I couldn't tell him, you both know that."

"We know, Hun. I just don't want to see my brother's face when he sees Grace. We love her dearly, and we would take a bullet for her, but we can't protect her from her father and neither can you." Alice began tracing circles on my hand as I sat down on the barstool beside her that Grace had been previously occupying. It was a calming gesture that Edward used to do when I was upset or hurt. It still sent chills down my spine.

"You need to man up. Call him, talk to him in person, something. If someone had my kid and didn't tell me, I would kill them for what I missed," Rosalie said harshly.

I knew that Edward never really found anyone after me. I heard about his tirades as a big-shot-doctor in Chicago, but never heard anything about love or bringing them home to Dr. Cullen and Esme. It was the same for me over the years. I had very little time to sleep and bathe, let alone date. Alice and Rose attempted to set me up on a few blind dates, but all of them weren't Edward. It was completely irrational, knowing that if I had just told him about Grace that I would be sitting here with him eating breakfast with our daughter. But forever I would be asking myself if he stayed because he loved me, or out of responsibility and obligation. I love Edward still after all of these years. Every day I look into the eyes of Grace and see the mini-replica of Edward, I almost break down at what could have been.

"I can't just do that Rose. If he finds out then I'll deal with it then. Until then, I will keep living my life and pretend that he's not here, just like before. It's a big enough town. Maybe I won't see him."

Alice scoffed. "There's no way. It's Seattle, and we all live in the same area! I'm surprised he already hasn't seen you and Grace. Every time I see him, I expect him to run through screaming about this kid he saw on the street that looked **exactly** like him."

I put my head down on the island. I was sick of having this discussion. "I'm done. We always come back to this. Please, can we talk about anything else? How about the Make-A-Wish Foundation charity ball? Any ideas?"

Rosalie perked up and the excitement shone through her eyes. As she began to tell us her ideas on how to raise money for the charity, I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding. Alice interjected every now and then, but all I could think about was Edward and if I should just tell him. I shook my head to try to get the idea to leave. I know what I did was right and I was going to stick to my normal life. I didn't see him when Rosalie's children were born and we were together when Alice had her son Tyler. Other than Alice's child being due in July, I didn't see a reason to have to see him or run into him. Even then, Grace never came with me to the hospital, so he would never have to know. We could just keep on pretending. _Yeah, like that's what you want. _

We sat for the better part of an hour discussing the rough ideas for the ball. I glanced at the clock and yelled at myself internally. "Shit, guys I got to head out or I'll never get all of my errands done."

"Oh no problem! We are still taking Gracie to the kid's play date right?" Alice got up and grabbed her bag slinging it over her shoulder. She rubbed her stomach absentmindedly while smiling.

"Yes, please. I will definitely never finish it all with Grace there as much as I love her." I shot up the stairs and checked on Grace quick. She was still playing with her dolls when I rushed into my bedroom and changed into a deep blue tank top and jeans. I through on a dark gray v-neck sweater and put on some mascara and lip-gloss. I was glad that I was never one of those girls that took forever to get ready.

I slipped on my black ballet flats and headed toward Grace's door again. "Gracie, we got to get you ready to go see your cousins. Would you like to go play with them at Aunty Rosalie's?"

"Yes!" Grace screamed and shed off her clothes in a matter of seconds. She had this awkward ability to be able to get naked pretty quickly. It came in handy when I was in a rush to help her into her clothes, but not when we were at Liam's second birthday party and she shed her clothes in front of Edward's parents and extended family while screaming 'I'm too sexy for my shirt'.

I got her dressed quickly in a beautiful blue dress that I knew would be caked in mud when she got home. I put her shoes on and thrust her into Rosalie's waiting arms. "Here, take her and run!"

Rosalie chuckled and playfully bounced her niece affectionately. She might be a stubborn and sometimes cold bitch, but she loved her children and her niece and nephew fiercely.

"I'll come pick her up at six-ish and we can all have dinner."

"That sounds wonderful." Alice did a little bounce and out the door she waddled.

"Bye, Gracie baby. Be good for Aunty Alice and Aunty Rosalie. Remember your manners I'm sure I taught you at some point. Say hi to Nanny and Papa for me." I gave her a big kiss and hugged Rose.

I followed them out the door while locking it and yelling a goodbye to Bailey. I got into my Audi convertible, a purchase that Rosalie told me I **had **to buy. She always said if we were going to be the best, we had to look like and have the best. I went to the dry cleaners to grab my dress I was going to wear to Pepsi's spring-fling tomorrow and headed to the drug store. I picked up my birth control prescription and some more shampoo for Gracie. The next and final stop I had to make was to the grocery store to get some desert for dinner tonight.

I headed down the aisles starting from first to last like I always did. I came to the conclusion that we didn't have much food in the house and that I had time to do some weekly shopping as well. I picked up the ingredients for tacos, chicken salad and salmon while I thought about what to have for dinner this week.

Just as I was picking up a packet of angel hair pasta, I heard the words I would never think I would ever hear again. I knew, just in that moment that I must be dreaming. I was having the most vivid and incredible dream possible. My brain completely left my body along with any other rational thought I ever had as I threw myself at the person whose voice I had waited four years to hear. I clung desperately to him as I breathed him in. He smelled just like I remembered, just the same as Grace. The world had stopped turning moments ago, letting me have this one last memory of complete and utter joy before I awoke. I lingered a few minutes in the hug, completely taken aback by him.

All of a sudden, the world sped up. I realized that the person was not hugging me back and that the quiet murmurs of voices could be heard from the grocery store P.A. system. I froze as I still held him. I looked up into the vibrant green eyes that were a mirror image of my daughter. I took a step back and stared at him with an expression I pictured as being utter confusion.

"I missed you too, Bella."

* * *

**A/N - Mini Cliffie! Sorry guys. This chapter was a short but I felt comfortable in ending it there. Longer ones will follow as the storyu gets deeper. I just wanted to thank all of you for favouriting my story and reviewing. It is really awesome to write a story that you guys like or started to like. I know Bella makes me want to punch her in the face, but you have to see her reasoning. Edward had told her he was leaving her just as she was about to tell him she was pregnant. I'll explain more about why Edward left her later on in a bedtime story. I hope you enjoyed!! Pleasseeeee Review. Let me hear your feedback!**

**xoxo Dev.**


	3. Chapter 2 Someday When I Stop Loving You

**Before the Worst  
****Chapter 2 – Someday When I Stop Loving You**

_I bet all I had on a thing called love_

_I guess in the end it wasn't enough_

_And it's hard to watch you leave right now_

_I'm gonna have to learn to let you go somehow_

I froze. I closed my eyes and willed myself not to listen to the melodic rhythm of his voice. When I opened them again, I saw him puzzled while looking at the ingredient list on a jar of pasta sauce. He acted as if I didn't just lunge myself at him; like this was just part of his day.

"You what?" I asked dumbly. I was staring at him like he had three heads and a tail coming out of his pants.

"I said I missed you too. Although, I never expected a greeting like that." Edward looked back at me with my favourite crooked grin. Even after four years I could still feel the heat begin to rise to my cheeks and the dampness between my legs. I couldn't remember the last time I had blushed.

"I'm…I'm..not s-s-sure what..came over...me," I stammered. I felt like I had just swallowed an entire bag of discount cotton balls. He looked exactly the same as he did before he left, before he had left me and our daughter. He was still muscular but never as big as Emmett and sported his usual unruly bronze mop. He had always had those expressive, deep green eyes and that still hadn't changed.

He put the pasta sauce down and looked at me. "Listen, I really need to talk to you but I just don't have the time right now. Is there any way we can meet up later tonight? Coffee perhaps? Or are you coming to Rose's for dinner tonight? Maybe I'll see you there."

Alarm bells began to ring in my head. Finally, I snapped out of my old, calm, and passive Bella personality and back into the mom mentality I had sported for quite some time. "Edward, I'm not sure what you have left to discuss that couldn't have been discussed years ago. Maybe it's the fact that I haven't heard a word from you in four years, or maybe it's the fact that you left me crushed and broken. Whatever it is, I have no desire to speak to you, nor do I wish to see you tonight at Rose's."

He furrowed his brow and began to sport a pained look until he noticed what he was doing and shook his head. "I'm not going to give up. There are so many things that were left unsaid and I would really like to make a proper apology and explain myself. Whether you would like to see me tonight or not, I will be at my brother's for dinner. Please reconsider."

I was furious. He was so calm and controlled and I felt like Dudley the Dragon from that old children's television show. I was going to spit fire out of my ears at any moment, I was sure of it. I needed to end this discussion before I lost my shit and told him all about Gracie and the hard times he was never there for. I was so close to telling him to shove the apology right up his backside when he interjected, "I'm sorry Bella. I've got to run. Here's my card and if I don't see you at dinner tonight, please call me anytime." He handed me his card and walked away with his grocery cart.

I crumpled the card and shoved it in the bottom of my purse. I hadn't cleaned it out in months and I doubt I'll ever find it again. I hastily grabbed the angel hair pasta and paid for my items at the checkout. I carried my bags to my car quickly and loaded them into the trunk before I got in. I sat in the parking lot of the grocery store and cried. I cried for every time he was never there, for every time I had to look into the eyes of Grace and see his face. I let everything out for all the hurt he had caused and the doubt I had in myself after he left. I was never more thankful for parking my ridiculously expensive car in the far end of the parking lot.

I sat there for a few minutes wallowing in self pity, until the rage came back again. I had cried too many times to keep doing this to myself. I would not give him that satisfaction. I had to "man-up" and let myself be happy. I had everything going for me and I would not let one chance appearance every few weeks destroy my life and all that I had built. I wiped my tears away hastily and grabbed my cell phone out of my purse. I dialed the numbers I had memorized like the back of my hand.

"Alice Whitlock- Cullen."

"You are so dead. You don't even know the definition of dead, that's how dead you are. As soon as that baby comes out, I am making Jasper a widower."

"…Bella?"

"No. Abe Lincoln."

"Oh Bella, I don't have time to listen to another one of your crazy pranks. In case you haven't noticed, I have a bunch of hyper kids running around! I swear, when Emmett gave them the cupcakes, I wasn't in the room and –"

I cut her off, "ALICE! I DON'T GIVE A SHIT ABOUT THE CUPCAKES!"

"Is everything okay? You're using your "I-am-so-mad-at-the-caterers" voice."

"Think about what you did today."

She took a pregnant pause (literally), "Okay, well, I woke up, had a shower, answered the phone, made Jasper breakfast, went to your house, got the kids, went to Rosalie's with Jasper and the kids…-"

"STOP. There, Alice, after the shower."

"I answered the phone? I don't see how that is relevant to my impending doom and Abe Lincoln."

"Who was on the phone?"

"Edward…"

It was like talking to a small child. "What did you tell him Ali…?"

"We talked about Mom and Dad's 35th wedding anniversary. Then he asked me if I had any plans and I invited him to dinner."

I waited. _1, 2, 3, 4…_

"HOLY SHIT! I INVITED HIM TO DINNER TONIGHT!"

"Ding, ding, ding!"

"OH! Bella, I'm so sorry. Jeez, he's supposed to be here in 40 minutes! What are we gonna do? We have to hide Gracie. Okay, Rose has this closet upstairs that I'm sure will be okay for a couple hours-"

I interrupted her right there. "Alice. I am not hiding my child in a closet. I just won't be able to go to dinner tonight. I'll pick Gracie up and we will have dinner at home. It'll be fine."

Alice scoffed, "Bells, that's not fair to you guys. I'll call him and uninvite him. I'll tell him the whole thing was called off. I'll tell him we all got listeria."

I laughed, "Ali, you're not going to tell him we all got listeria. There's no way you can uninvite him now, not since I've spoken to him."

I cringed inwardly at my admission. "What do you mean you talked to _him_? When? Where? Does he know about Gracie? I have to know if I'm going to get a beat down tonight so I can put on my brass knuckles!"

"You are saying his name like it's a sin or something! Calm down, you're not going to get a beat down. He doesn't know about Grace and he won't know about her ever. I'm not going to ask where you got brass knuckles from either."

She sighed loudly into the phone, "Well can't your parents take her? I know they are in town for a little bit and they would love to spend time with Gracie."

I actually liked that idea. Renee and Charlie had decided that they needed a vacation from their hectic lives in Phoenix. They came down to see their only daughter every spring for a week and they were scheduled to fly back tomorrow morning. "I guess they could take her. I'm sure they would love it."

"Great! That settles it then."

"And what did we learn Alice?"

"I got to watch what I say. I know, I know."

"Okay I'll see you in thirty. Bye Ali Bear."

I knew I couldn't be mad at her, not after all she has done for me just by existing. Alice giggled softly, "Bye Christmas Bells."

I pulled out of the parking lot and drove home to quickly let out and feed Bailey. As soon as Edward had left, Emmett suggested I get a dog to help protect me when I was home alone and pregnant. He was always looking out for me and still is today.

When I had first told him, I knew what he would want to do to Edward. As the words left my mouth, Emmett breathed deeply and pinched the bridge of his nose (a trait passed down to all the Cullens), and walked out. I heard a large crash in the next room followed by murmured choice woods, before he returned and sat calmly on the couch beside me. He hugged me tight and promised to be there for me.

As I was walking out the door, Emmett yelled up to Rosalie, "We need a new dining room table babe!"

"Okay, hun. I'll grab Alice this afternoon", was all she yelled and that was the end of it.

I pulled down to rub Bailey's ears and scratched her head thoughtfully. She grumbled to me and yawned loudly before she curled up back into her spot on the rug in the kitchen. I thought back to when Jasper brought her home for me, and the smile that lit up my face as I cared for her through her puppy years. As awkward as this sounds, she was the one who comforted me when I felt too low for anyone to see. She would sit with me, completely still, and let me cry on her back and rub her ears. She was my rock just as much as Alice or Rosalie.

I glanced at the clock and had just enough time to have the quickest shower imaginable and throw on my empire wasted, deep blue dress. It was strapless and was tight through the chest to flare out just at my knees. It skimmed and hugged every curve perfectly. I was never more thankful than now for my baby weight being so easy to shed. I looked just the same as before I was pregnant, but kept the bigger bust size.

I reapplied my makeup and slipped on some wedge heels. I yelled goodbye to Bailey and locked the front door. I had enough time to grab Gracie and drop her off at the hotel. My parents were more than excited to have her stay with them. I think I actually heard my mother squeal in the background while my father talked about finally teaching her the basics of football while they watched the game.

When I finally got to Rosalie's, I saw every car but Edward's Volvo. Saying an inward prayer, I walked into the house to hear the distant laugh of my angel. "Hello?" I called out.

"MOMMMMMMMMMMYYYYYYYYYY!!!!" I then saw the bronze locks run toward me at full speed. I bent down in a squat to grab her and braced myself for impact. Never being one to disappoint, she grabbed at my waist and hugged me hard as she forced the breath out of my lungs not by the force, but by the feeling of completeness.

"Hello Gracie baby. Did you have fun with your cousins and your aunts and uncles?"

"Yes, mommy. Liam and I built sandcastles and then Tyler came and wrecked it, but then Uncle Jaspey came and tickled him into sayin' sowee and then Aunty Alice came and yelled at Uncle Jaspey for bein' such a meanie and then Aunty Rose said Aunty Alice should stop actin' like a b-"

"WHOA there, cowgirl!" Jasper stopped her in mid-sentence. I gave him a hard glare. I was going to have to talk to Rosalie about her choice words around my angel.

"Jasp, could you tell Alice that I am dropping off Gracie and then I will need to have a long discussion with a certain partner of mine?"

"Of course darlin' I'll see you soon." He came over and kissed me on the cheek and went back out onto the patio. Jasper was always a very sexy, confident man in a he's-married-to-my-best-friend kind of way. His southern charm and unlimited patience was always a huge pro for Alice and they have been in-love ever since he laid eyes on her in high school.

I put on Gracie's coat while she explained more about her afternoon with her aunts and uncles. I noticed that she mentioned about Alice's lemonade and Rosalie helping her do her nails, but never mentioned Emmett. I opened the door to the car as I asked Gracie about Emmett.

"Gracie baby, where was your Uncle Emmy Bear?"

"He was out getting more cupcakes after Aunty Alice said he couldn't give us the chocolate ones anymore. He told me a secret though."

"What was the secret baby?"

She leaned forward to whisper it to me while I bent down. "He was going out to get vanilla with Henry. Aunt Alice never said anything about vanilla" Then she actually winked at me.

"Did Uncle Emmy teach you that?" I said through laughter.

She was silent for a few moments before I glanced back at her. She was staring down the driveway with a blank look on her face. I've never seen her look like that before. She shifted so she was standing behind my legs a little in a hesitant pose as she continued her gaze. I looked down at her, "Gracie baby, what's wrong? What are you looking-"

I turned my head as my throat clammed up. I coughed loudly and lifted Gracie up instinctively into my arms. She hid her face in my hair and I closed the car door. I walked to the back of the car and leaned against it, comforted by her breath on my neck.

Edward walked over to his daughter and me, while pressing the lock button on his Volvo. He still drove the same coloured Volvo, just a more updated make and year. He looked from me to his daughter and gaped. I stared at him, and tried to recall my talent on how to read his expressions and gauge his thoughts.

"So. What have you got there?" He would have looked comfortable in his blank mask if I hadn't seen the pain underneath. He was stalling, hoping to hear anything but the words that he knew were inevitable.

"This is Grace Lilly Cullen." I kept my calm. He began to rub at his face furiously with his large hands. I kept taking forced breaths. I would not crack ever in front of Grace, no matter what. She was my angel. I would never be sorry for what I did or the choices I made. I looked at his face intently and willed my voice to stay even.

"So, she must be four then." He stared at her so hard that I felt her burrow deeper into my neck. I ran my hand through her locks like I usually did when she was upset or unhappy.

"Her birthday is in November." He locked eyes with me. I knew he was calculating in his head. Whether he was unsure of his genetic involvement or wondering how much he missed, I was not positive. He didn't have a chance to say more as I heard the audible gasp come from his lips.

Gracie made her appearance now as she lifted her head from the crook of my neck. She stared at him with her green eyes; confused and quizzical look on her face. She put one arm around my neck and the other held onto the arm that was keeping her in the air. Edward took a step toward her and she leaned deeper into him. He looked at me for a silent confirmation that this was true and real. I nodded slightly and let out a breath I didn't know I had been holding.

He took his hand slowly from his side and raised it to her cheek as if to test if this act was acceptable. He broke our gaze and looked lovingly at his daughter. Her eyes were shining with excitement as if she had been awaiting for this her whole life. I had never known how much of a missing piece her father was until I saw her face. She lit up like a Christmas tree, like she knew exactly who he was. She leaned into his hand and as he touched the softness of her cheeks, she blushed. His eyes widened slightly when he saw that the trait was passed down from mother to daughter.

"She…I… She is incredible Bella." He stammered out. His eyes were now fresh with tears as he let them freely roll down his face. The pain was now evident.

"She looks just like you," I said softly. I knew the anger and the resentment would come, but for now I was simply enjoying the love of my life share a precious moment with our daughter.

"Grace," he said slowly. "Do you know who I am?"

"Yes." Her eyes were still looking at his face, as if to remember his features. She looked at Edward in wonder, just as I did all those years ago when we first met.

"Who am I?" Edward swallowed loudly and hard as he tried to wipe away his tears.

"You're the man in my dream who pushes me on the swing with Uncle Jaspey and Uncle Emmy Bear. You're my daddy." Grace spoke which such confidence it made my heart break.

He closed his eyes and let the tears fall freely now. He buried his head in his hands and sobbed sadly. I stood there, frozen. I did not know that after all these years, if I was allowed to touch him. I wanted so badly to sit down and comfort him, to explain everything but I couldn't. I was physically unable to answer any questions. How did she know? How could she have dreamed of his face when I now had trouble recalling it after all of our time apart? I quickly noticed how dark it was getting and how the crowd inside would begin to wonder where we are, including where Gracie was since she wouldn't be going to my parents. I fought hard to find my voice to explain to Edward the situation we were in.

"Edward. Let's go inside and we can talk about this. Everyone will be waiting for us."

"I can't. I have a lot I need to process. I need to talk to you about this, Bella. I NEED TO KNOW WHY?" He was beginning to shout. I looked around and pulled Grace into the car. I fastened her into her car seat and closed the door.

"First of all Edward, you left me remember? I never walked out on you. I was fully intending to tell you I was pregnant. I was going to tell you that night in fact, but you left me! Second of all, don't you dare yell in front of Grace. She is your daughter, but I raised her and I will be the one there when she is crying about her daddy yelling at her! Lastly, it seems you are in NO shape to deal with dinner at Rose's. I will make some phone calls and I will meet you at my house. Here's the address; bring pizza."

Before he had a chance to say another word, I walked around to the driver's side and got in. I took a deep, cleansing breath and started the car. Gracie felt asleep in the back about halfway home as I made phone calls to Alice and my parents. Charlie sounded upset, but I promised to still see them off to the airport tomorrow and have breakfast before with them and Gracie. Somehow, I managed to cut off Alice before she began to put the pieces together of why Edward and I were going back to my house with Gracie and not going to dinner. Just as the pregnancy haze cleared her brain, I said a quick goodbye with a promise to come over tomorrow afternoon after the airport.

I got out of the car with Gracie in tow and unlocked the door. I let Bailey out after her enthusiastic greeting and tucked Grace in upstairs. I guess all the excitement tired her out and I vowed to make sure she got a huge breakfast tomorrow due to her lack of dinner. She obviously didn't seem to mind.

I changed into some grey sweatpants, a black tank top and a black zip-up sweater and headed down the stairs. I took a seat in the large front sitting room and peered out the window onto the vast yard and long driveway. I never realized how big and empty this house seemed to be until I knew Edward was coming. I bought this house for Edward and I just after my first big event was finished with Rosalie and Alice. Our business was just starting to get big and that morning I had found out Edward and I were expecting. I had seen the for-sale sign on the end of the driveway on my way home from the doctors, and had this instinct to go check it out.

_I drove up the paved driveway and parked outside the house in the big key. The house was huge with 5 bedrooms and 6 and half baths. It was way too big for Edward and me, but I had just found out I was pregnant and I knew even then, that I wanted more children with him. This would give us room for our expanding family. There was a blossom tree in the front lawn with a stone path coming up to the front door. The house was white with siding covering the entire exterior. Small, white columns stood beside the doorway and some of the windows in the front. There was a bay window where I could imagine me reading and a large finished basement that would be perfect for a playroom. There were features on the house that provided it the luxurious look, while it remained charming on the outside. There was a room that was made into a movie theatre as well as a tennis court in the backyard that accompanied the indoor pool and hot tub. There was an incredible master bathroom with a granite shower and dual shower heads as well as a balcony coming off the master bedroom. I could imagine Edward and I making love until the late hours and falling asleep outside on the balcony. I blushed at the thought and continued my tour. After taking a look at the other bedrooms, the library and the guesthouse outside, I knew this was the one. I put down a down payment that day, which consisted of every penny I've ever earned and planned on showing Edward next week when we came back for the inspection. I paid a little over full price to guarantee a short closing date and deciding to tell Edward by putting a pregnancy test on the bed in the master bedroom for him to find during our tour._

I laughed at the memory out loud, letting a fresh course of pain hit the whole in my chest. It reminded me that I needed to get the deed of the house changed and his name taken off. I clutched my heart and took a few deep breaths as the memory faded. I saw the headlights enter up the driveway between the trees and went outside the front door. Closing it behind me, I sat down on one of the rocking chairs on the wrap-around porch and waited as he got out.

Edward seemed robotic and confused as he got out of the Volvo and grabbed the pizzas from the backseat. He locked the car and started up towards the door with his eyes down on the ground and his brows slightly furrowed. He looked as if he was trying to solve the meaning of life in his head. Edward didn't even notice me sitting on the porch till he got up to the front door and tried to debate whether to knock or ring the doorbell.

"Grace is asleep, so please don't ring the doorbell."

"Holy shit, Bella! Are you trying to give me a heart attack," Edward jumped slightly but recovered quickly as he clutched the pizzas with a death grip.

"Are you planning on murdering those pizzas, because if you do, we're going to have to think of an alibi," I joked. I wanted nothing more to hear his melodic laughter, especially since I would not be hearing it through the screams during our discussion.

He chucked once, "Is it still considered murder if they volunteered their life as sustenance?"

I got up and walked slowly to him. I forgot for a second of all the time that had passed, as we were joking around on the porch of our home. I let myself get inches from him and I leaned my head up for the awaiting kiss that would always follow his return home. That's when it all clicked in. I was not his wife, I was not his girlfriend and I certainly had no claim otherwise on him. I felt the heat rise to my cheeks as we locked eyes. I'm sure he knew what I was doing as I turned my gaze down to the ground. I put the soles of my feet flat again and played it off like I was looking to see what kind of pizza he brought.

"I brought your favourite… or what used to be your favourite, vegetarian with extra green peppers," He stumbled slightly as his gaze turned down to the pizza box.

"Thank you. Let's bring this inside." I walked to the front door from my former place at his side and opened it, leading us into the foyer.

"Wow, this is incredible."

"Thank you, Edward."

We walked through the foyer down two steps and into the kitchen/dining room area. I flicked on the light switch and reached up to the dark wood cabinets to try to grab the plates. Edward was quick to look at my predicament and came up behind me to grab the plates for me. As he reached, his right side brushed into my body and all my limbs became heated with the electric shock of his caress. I gasped slightly, but not audible enough for Edward to hear, despite his closeness. I couldn't believe that after all this time; my body was still so responsive toward him. I felt the familiar muscles of my stomach tighten as I tried to control my breathing. I shifted my legs desperate to get some kind of friction, as he carried the plates over to the island.

We silently dished out the pizza and took seats on the barstools. I couldn't help but think that all the important discussions that I wanted no part of, took place at this island. I got up and grabbed drinks for us as Edward looked deep in thought. I dreaded to start this conversation. I knew exactly how it would end. The silence was smothering.

It seemed like Edward had read my mind when he glanced up from his untouched pizza and began. "How far along were you when I left?"

"Six weeks. I had just found out about a week before you left."

Edward looked into my eyes with anger and disappointment, "Why didn't you tell me right away?"

I sighed, "I wanted to surprise you. On my way home from the doctors, I passed this house. I remember the feeling of home as I passed it and I went to take a tour. I bought it for us, that day, so that we could start our family. I was going to put a pregnancy test on the master bed when we came for the inspection the next week." I looked down and closed my eyes tightly to try to stop the tears.

"That's where you were going to take me…" He seemed as if he was talking to himself rather than directly to me. I nodded. "You bought this house for us, without consulting me?"

I nodded again. "You're seriously mad at me for buying a house without you rather than the small child upstairs? Edward, you need to get your priorities sorted out. I can only take so much yelling at one time. Pick your battles, please," I said angrily. I needed to keep up this anger rather than feel the pain for just a little while longer. I could break down when he left, not now.

"Bella, my mind is racing right now. I can't pick what I want to yell at you about because I want to yell at EVERYTHING!" He was heaving. He pinched the bridge of his nose, a trait that Grace seemed to already have picked up. It was in the genetics, I was sure.

"So yell, FIGHT ME, DO SOMETHING! I can't fucking take this silence anymore Edward! Stop being so calm! SCREAM AT ME. I'm not the same girl you left behind!"

He stood up and pushed the barstool roughly back into the island. Edward began pacing back and forth as he tried to calm himself. I have never seen him this chaotic and upset, not even when he left.

"You had no right, Bella. I'VE MISSED EVERYTHING! I missed her kicks while you were pregnant, late night cravings, her birth, her first words, crawling, walking, first birthday, Christmas, EVERYTHING! You've taken it from me and I can never get it back." He slammed his fists hard into the granite and I winced. This is what I have been waiting for, and it felt worse than I had imagined. I didn't know my body was shaking until I reached out to grab his fist. He withdrew his body quickly from mine, and I cringed.

"You took everything from me too, Edward. You took it all when you left. You walked away with my heart and my soul. I can never get those years back with you either," I said softly. The tears began to fall as every semi-closed wound opened up and burned with full force.

He sighed and walked over to me. He put his arms around me and I melted into his body. We were hurt, vulnerable and empty. I felt him kiss the top of my head in a comforting gesture he always had done. I looked up into his eyes and saw the tears rolling down that mirrored my own. I instinctively reached up and pressed my hand to his cheek, using my thumbs to rub away the tears. "I'm sorry Edward. I'm so, so sorry."

Edward leaned down towards my face with his arms still wrapped tightly around me. I felt my heart beat begin erratically as my breath stopped. The entire world slowed down as he looked me into the eyes for what seemed like minutes and pressed his lips softly to mine. It felt like a lover kissing his companion after years of travel and war. It felt like home, love and entirety. I kept my eyes locked with his and began moving my lips along with his. I didn't know how long this feeling would last, but I prayed that the images stayed forever with me. He eased my pain for the first time since he walked out the door.

I closed my eyes and let my body take over, quieting my mind that screamed _He's going to hurt you again!_ He kissed back passionately and let his arms move up and down my back. I got off the barstool and pressed my body into his. I felt his arousal against my body awaken all the desire that lay dormant waiting for him. My body felt on fire with the warmth of his skin. I broke the kiss and took a deep breath. I spun around and grabbed onto his hands with mine, leading him from the kitchen upstairs to my bedroom. He followed in silence, an act that promised more to come.

I closed my door and turned to him, resuming the passionate kiss. I needed this. I needed to feel wanted by a man that expressed his feelings loud and clear a long time ago. He kissed back fiercely and moved his hands to the hem of my shirt. I nodded slightly, still engaged in the kiss. I only broke it for a few seconds when he tore my tank top off and unclasped my grape coloured bra. He threw it off in haste, and took one of my rose coloured nipples in his mouth.

"Oh god, Bella," he grunted. "You taste incredible; better than I had imagined."

"Mmm Edward," I moaned. I grabbed his shirt and tugged on it. He lifted his face and pushed me back onto the king sized bed. I watched him grab his shirt and lift it off his body. I gasped in surprise on how defined his body now was. In college, he was always muscular but still slightly lanky which I loved. As I reached out to touch his abs, he closed his eyes and relished in the touch. I lifted my figures over each line and appreciated the new god that he seemed to have become. "You're magnificent Edward," I sighed. I looked up and he was now looking into my eyes with his emerald ones. They were clouded over with lust that made my stomach tingle and yearn for his touch. I pulled his body down on top of mine and slid us to the top of the bed to rest my head on the pillow.

He hovered over me and kissed me softly and affectionately. He used his hands to touch everywhere on my upper body. His fingers grazed my nipples and I arched into him. He chuckled softly and slid his hands down to take off my sweatpants and matching thong. He took in my body as he sat back on his knees. "Bella, you've become so incredibly beautiful. I've missed you so much."

One tear fell down my eyes as I remembered the feeling of being wanted and loved by him. It wasn't exactly the declaration I had hoped for when he returned, but I felt a slight shine of hope. Maybe we could actually be together, as a family. We had a lot to forgive and forget, but maybe this was destiny's way of telling us that we belonged together.

I pulled him back onto me as I pushed my hands down to his jeans. I took off his belt and undid his button while he panted into my neck. He kissed softly down my neck, slightly distracting me from my task, as I pulled off his jeans and boxers. His erection sprang free in greeting and I used my hand slowly and cautiously to stroke up and down it.

"Unnngh, Bella. Fuck, I love your hands, baby." He began rubbing my upper thigh in slow and deliberate circles.

"More, Edward. Please." He slipped his index finger into my slick folds quickly. I gasped and my eyes rolled back into my head. _The things he could make happen with his fingers_. He used his index finger to pinch my clit and roll it between his index and middle fingers. Edward switched to rub it with his thumb in circles as he slipped one finger inside of me and curled it. I felt the tightening get stronger as I moaned loudly. I didn't have time to be embarrassed about the noises I was making because just then, he inserted another finger and began to rub the sensitive spot inside me. I felt my orgasm come as my body shook and my walls clenched against his hand.

"I love making you cum baby. You look so fucking hot knowing it was me that did that to you," Edward growled. He quickly hovered over me as I spread my legs for him. I calmed down from my high and opened my eyes to see Edward looking down at me with that crooked grin I loved so much.

"I need you, Edward. I always have." There was nothing but our heavy breaths as he thrust himself completely into me. I felt whole and complete and he started to move inside of me.

"I'm sorry Bella. I should have never left you. I love our daughter." He kept eye contact as he began to go faster and harder inside of me. I knew he wouldn't last long by the panting he was doing and the moans he was making. My body was responding to him like no time had passed. I felt my orgasm quickly approaching as he lifted my hips slightly and began thrusting down wards, hitting that same spot he had with his fingers not moments ago.

"Cum with me Edward," I yelled. "Please, I need you. Make me yours again."

And just like that, I felt him twitch inside me as he grunted out into the air. I fell over the edge with him and he put his body weight on top of me. I rubbed my hands along his back as we calmed down from our highs, and controlled our breathing.

Without another word, Edward got up off me and lay down beside me on the other side of the bed. It was his side, and I could never bring myself to sleep on it since he left. I rolled onto my side facing him and he came close beside me, putting his arm over my waist and one around my head to hug me to his chest. I sighed loudly and felt him put his cheek against the top of my head. My eyes fought a useless battle against sleep. It claimed me, and I fell hard back into comfort, routine and love next to a man I realized I could never live without.

I awoke the next morning to coldness. I pulled up the covers around me and opened my eyes slowly. Edward was nowhere to be found. Just like four years ago, he had left me, alone, empty and waiting.

* * *

**A/N - Okay, so this was my first written lemon so I hope it was as spicy as you hoped. I felt like they were extremely confused by all of the emotions all at once and they brought it down to love that they couldn't tell eachother but could express. They have A LOT to discuss later especially regarding Grace and their relationship. I might do the next chapter in EPOV I haven't decided yet. I also didn't want Edward to deny Gracie. She flippin' looks exactly like him and Bella hasn't been with anyone since Edward. We will also find out what Edward has been doing since he's beeen gone and why he left her in the next couple chapts. PLEASE REVIEW! **

**Reviews are better than licking butterscotch pudding off Edward's chest. ;) Future lemon? Maybe. **


	4. Chapter 3 I'm Gonna Find Another You

**Before the Worst**

**Chapter 3 – I'm Gonna Find Another You**

_So, go on baby_

_Make your little getaway_

_My pride will keep me company_

_And you just gave yours all away_

_Oh, now I'm gonna dress myself for two_

_Once for me once for someone new_

_I'm gonna do some things you wouldn't let me do_

_I'm gonna find another you_

I sat my head back down on the pillow. The clock only read five thirty in the morning. I stared up at the stucco ceiling and thought back to the night before. I couldn't do this anymore. I couldn't just allow Edward to walk back into my life and pretend like all of those years never happened. I couldn't let myself be pushed back into my old, shy, timid self. I used to want to give him the world, but not anymore.

I let the wall crumble last night at the first sight of him in the grocery store. I could have fought against my daydream, but I didn't. I wanted to let myself be felt by a man who expressed he wanted nothing to do with me. He used to be the only one that mattered. I would've taken a bullet for him years ago if anyone had asked; but the only person who is important now is sleeping silently a few doors away.

I gave in when she was much younger; deciding that I didn't need a life of my own. I didn't need Edward or men and I could just be with her. I devoted my life completely to her and now I see the mistake in that as well. She deserves it, truly she does, but she needs a mom who will be there for her and show an example on how to juggle and manager her own life as well. She needs a mom to show her that happiness is possible and can be achieved.

I got up out of the bed and ripped off the sheets angrily. I couldn't sit there in the filth and remainder of the love we once had. It wasn't there anymore. For the first time in four years, I didn't feel I needed him. I should mark this day on a fucking calendar and celebrate it every year. It was exhilarating. It was like when he left me tonight, for the second time, I finally learned. I am enough. I can't sit here and wait again for him to leave me. I can't sit and let myself be hurt.

I took off the pillow cases and rolled the sheets into a ball. I softly walked down the hall into the upstairs laundry room and turned on the machine. I loaded them in there with extra detergent and walked back to my room. I turned on the shower, letting it warm up, and looked in the mirror. I didn't look any different. I turned from side to side and faced forward, leaning in and taking a good look at my face. It was such a turnaround; I thought that there had to be a physical manifestation.

"Fuck Edward. I will find myself someone new, who will make me happy and love Gracie too," I said aloud. I nodded once to myself and got into the shower. It was burning, a burn that I welcomed to wash off the last remaining evidence of passion. I loved Edward all those years ago, and I still love him today, but I won't wait. I won't not enjoy my life and not share it with another person, in the thought that he may come back to me. I will find out who I am again and show Gracie love can happen to. I finally made the decision to begin to let Edward Cullen go, and it felt incredible.

I got out of the shower and began to towel dry my body. I was broken on the inside, feeling completely humiliated and alone. I walked into the master bedroom and began to throw on a pair of jeans and a black t-shirt. It was another cold day outside so I threw on a beige wrap sweater on top of the tank top. I padded down the stairs, greeting Bailey softly as to not wake up Gracie. I picked up the phone and dialed the one man who had always been there for me.

"Carlisle," I breathed.

"Bella, honey it's only six in the morning. Is something wrong?" He asked worriedly. Carlisle could always read me better than anyone ever could, including Edward or even my own father. Carlisle and Esme where there for everything, from the breakup to the pregnancy, while my own parents lived in Phoenix focusing on their own relationship.

"I'm not okay dad, but I will be. Can you and Esme watch Gracie for a bit while I go and see Alice? I promise I'll be back in time for lunch tomorrow to pick her up after the Pepsi event." I usually never asked them for help. Gracie was my child and they usually had to beg me to take her. They loved her and had always respected my decision to leave Edward in the dark despite their concerns. I loved Esme and Carlisle dearly; they were my parents in every aspect of the word.

"Of course dear, Esme has been begging to get a hold of her favourite cooking partner," he chuckled. "I hope that you would come to us if you needed anything?"

"You know I would. I just have to sort some things through right now but you are helping me more than I could ever have asked for. I'll drop Gracie off in a half hour. Thanks dad."

"Anything for you. I'll see you soon." He hung up the receiver and I breathed a sigh of relief.

I let Bailey outside to take care of her business as I walked up the hardwood stairs to wake up Gracie. I walked into her room and watched her sleep peacefully for a few minutes. I could understand if Edward didn't want to be with me. Maybe he regretted sleeping me or coming back to me but to even think to leave our daughter, I would never understand. While he was connected to me in the most intimate way, he expressed his love for her even within moments of meeting her. I hoped that despite our differences, he would never go back on those feelings and she would get to be with her dad.

I walked toward her and breathed in her scent. She was so like Edward. "Gracie, baby. Wake up for me my angel." I stroked her hair for a few moments while coaxing her awake. I saw her eyelids flutter as she stared at me. "How about spending the day with Nana and Papa?"

She grew excited and jumped out of her bed. I laughed softly at her unconditional love for her grandparents. "Nana and I will bake cookies and cake and we will make lunch and garden and play with my dolls and –"

"Grace." I said forcefully, snapping her back into reality. I think Alice was finally having her permanent effect on my daughter. "I'll help you get dressed. The faster we eat, the faster we can go see Nana." I dug into her dresser and pulled out one of her red dresses that Alice had recently purchased on her crazy shopping trips. As I pulled it over her head, something seemed to flicker over her mind.

"Mommy? Where's daddy?" My breath caught in my throat at what I was going to tell her. I couldn't let her know that he had left in the early hours in the morning just before my epiphany to no longer pine for him. I gathered my thoughts and answered her honestly.

"He went to work baby. Maybe he can pay a visit sometime soon? Would you like that?" I studied her face as I packed her a bag for her grandparents.

She looked at me with an unreadable expression on her face. "I want you to be happy mommy."

My heart broke as I thought I had hidden my emotions well. I needed to be stern with her as I bent down to her level with her newly packed backpack. "Grace, I am very happy baby. I love you and I will always be happy when I have you."

She seemed content with that answer as she grabbed her backpack off the floor and began to drag it across the wood. I picked it up off of her after getting sassed about her being a big girl. I picked her up and held her against my body as we sauntered down the stairs. I made a quick call to my own parents while Gracie was eating breakfast to tell them that I wasn't able to come to breakfast but still offering to drive them to the airport after I went to Alice's. They politely declined while I listened in the background to my mom talking romantically with my father. I hung up the phone and tried to swallow back the vomit forming in my mouth.

I turned toward Grace. "Alright Gracie baby let's go see Nana." I picked her up and let Bailey back in the house. After locking up all the doors, I unlocked the car and loaded Grace into her car seat making sure that my overnight bag and dress for the event tonight was already packed. She sang softly to the radio in the most adorable way while I drove her to the Cullen Estate. It sat ten minutes away from my own home high in the trees. It was expansive at 15,000 square feet and offered many acres surrounding it which were filled with Esme's garden. As I pulled up to the familiar drive way, I felt home and comfort. I had spent so many times here with Esme and Carlisle when Edward left, that it felt more my home than his.

I went into the back seat and grabbed Gracie out of her car seat. She made a bolt for the front door just as I set her down while I laughed softly at her eagerness. It brought such happiness that she felt comfortable with her grandparents. I took her back pack into the house as I yelled from the foyer. "Mom, Dad, Gracie and I are here."

I walked through the living room to see Gracie curled up on Carlisle's lap talking animatedly about the zoo which we were all attending as a family next week. He looked at her with wide eyes and 'oh' and 'awed' at all the appropriate spots. He was very smitten with his only granddaughter.

Esme appeared from the kitchen to watch the scene as well. She had a hand towel in her hand and was wiping her hands thoughtfully. "Hello dear, I was just making breakfast. Would you like something?"

"No thank you Mom. I was just dropping off Gracie and I was going to head to Alice's."

She turned to me and took in my face for a moment before speaking, "Can you join me in the kitchen Bella?"

"Of course." I followed her into the kitchen and sat up on the counter top while I watched her cook the bacon and eggs for breakfast. A few moments of silence passed before she spoke.

"Edward came here last night, Bella." My face went pale as she turned towards me with a disappointed expression. "He knows about Gracie then?"

I nodded my head sadly at her. "I thought so. He came in here screaming about how we had betrayed him and how we should have told him."

"When was this mom?"

"It was around midnight, last night." I turned my gaze away from her. It was after I had fallen asleep with him in my bed. I guess I was wrong about him leaving early this morning.

"I'm working on it Esme. He caught us in the driveway at Emmett's yesterday as I was going to drop off Gracie to my parents. I couldn't deny it with her standing right there. That's why I wasn't at dinner. We went back to my house and I explained the situation to him, or at least I tried to."

She plated out the breakfast with a large sigh. "What do you mean you tried to dear?"

_Shit._ I was not going to tell my ex-boyfriend's mother that I slept with her son last night in the heat of the moment. "He was angry and hurt," I half lied. "I'm going to have to try again when he is more calmed down. Gracie is already asking about him, and I want to give him the opportunity to be in her life if he wants to."

"I think that's a good decision. I know that Carlisle and I never questioned your motives, but this is our son. We love you and Gracie and I know what he did hurt you, but he had his reasons. I can't get into them but I know that he wanted to apologize ; a love like that just does not go away. He deserves to know his daughter especially since he's already missed so much from stubbornness." Her words hurt, but I knew she was right. Esme was always the voice of reason and that's exactly where Alice got it from.

I went over and embraced her. "I know mom. Thank you for always being there for me and I'm sorry that I ever put you in this position to begin with. I appreciate all you and Carlisle have done for me." She hugged me back a little tighter in a motherly embrace. "I have to be getting to Alice's."

She pulled back and pushed my hair behind my ears. "Have a good time tonight dear. I'll see you tomorrow and don't worry I won't spoil her too much." She winked at me and I walked away from the kitchen laughing for the first time in days.

Gracie was still talking to Carlisle when I walked into the living room again. "Mommy's gonna go now Gracie." I kissed her goodnight and told Carlisle that breakfast was finished in the kitchen. I hugged him tightly and walked back out to my car.

I drove silently over to Alice's still thinking over my decision to let Edward go. I was so sure of everything this morning when the anger and pain was fresh in my mind and I was surprised to see myself still as angry. I knew that what I did to him was unforgivable, maybe even more than him leaving but I used his leaving this morning as a way to finally motivate myself out of this pining stage. He isn't going to come back. He won't be my Edward anymore and no matter how much I sugar coat it, I don't trust him anymore. I won't be hurt again and I can't let Gracie see me break down. I needed to get a hold of myself and be the strong, independent woman that I was in my sorority years before Edward.

I pulled up to Alice's modest house and walked to the door with my dress and overnight bag. I knocked on the door as I heard her waddle quickly down the hallway to answer it. She looked at me in panic, "Bella you're early. Is something wrong? Are you hurt? Is Gracie Okay?"

"I'm good Alice. Your brother saw Gracie last night, we fought and then we slept together. I woke up and he was gone. How is your morning?" I said sarcastically. I pushed forward through the doorway and into the house while her mouth hung like a fish out of water still at the doorway. It seems that Alice was taking longer these days to get the thoughts straight in her mind.

"Hey, Christmas Bells! We're in here!" Jasper called from the kitchen. I walked through to see him and Tyler reading the newspaper at the table except Tyler had it upside down and was reading the classifieds. I ruffled his hair at his cute behavior. "Find any cute strippers you can take home to mom yet Ty?"

Jasper snickered to my side, obviously thinking what Alice's reaction would be to her precious boy bringing home a stripper for Christmas and Thanksgiving. Tyler looked over at me with a confused expression on her face just as I heard Alice's loud footsteps run down the hall. She slid on her socks in a very 'Risky Business' sort of way into the kitchen. Jasper put down his newspaper as he stared at her in shock for almost killing herself in a very graceful manner while he mumbled under his breath. Her shrill will be forever imprinted in my mind, "YOU SLEPT WITH MY BROTHER?"

I looked at her with a calm expression. "Out of that whole story, that's the part you absorb?"

Tyler interrupted our soon-to-be-heated debate, "Mom? What's a stripper?"

Alice looked at him with a panicked expression as she continuously opened and closed her mouth. I broke out in a round of laughter and Jasper joined in. Soon the whole room was erupting in laughter as Alice took me upstairs to their bedroom. She closed the door and locked it while I sat down on the bed sprawled out with one arm over my eyes.

"Care to explain to me what you were doing while I was trying to get pasta out of Emmett's nose last night?" She sat next to me with her body against the headboard.

"I was stupid Alice." I sighed loudly and began my story, "I saw Edward last night in the grocery store and he told me he was going to dinner at Rosalie and Emmett's so I went to pick up Gracie before he got there as you know." I paused while she nodded. "When I was in the driveway, he came up from the car and saw Gracie. He knew Alice; he just knew that she was his. The weird thing is, is that she had known she belonged to him too. She looked at him with that expression that she just knew that he was her dad, it was totally bizarre" I shook my head and took another breath. "Anyways, when he saw he started to get loud and I didn't want Gracie to witness that or Emmett to come out with Jasper and pummel his ass for speaking to me like that, so I told him to come over with pizza." I moved into Alice's lap like when I was pregnant and she stroked my hair while I leaned against her. I needed her, just like I had needed her all those years ago. "I put Gracie to bed because she was exhausted and crashing from Emmett's sugar coma. He came in and we talked…well we mostly yelled. He was upset and I was upset and one thing lead to another and before I realized it, I had my clothes off and leading him upstairs. He told me Ali that he loved our daughter and how he missed me while he was with me and when I woke up in the morning, he was gone. Apparently he had gone over to your parent's house last night and freaked out at them after he was at my house. I assume he went home. I don't know where he is, he never called."

She was silent as she listened to my story and kept stroking my hair. Finally, she spoke, "That was stupid to sleep with him, Bella. It was like all the progress you had made, flew right out the window when he was with you. I do however believe that it served its purpose."

I looked up at her with a confused expression. "I know you might not realize it, but maybe this was the final push that you needed to finally be over him. Now you know that even when he came back and knew about Grace that he wasn't ready to make this big, happy family that you envisioned. Maybe now you know he isn't coming back to you…" Her words cut deeper than Esme's, but I saw the truth in them. It was just as I thought this morning. I can finally let him go.

"That's what I thought this morning. It was the final push, like you said. I'm done. I can't do this to myself or Gracie anymore. I do want him to be in Gracie's life though, if he wants to be. I realize my mistake in not telling him about her as well. He didn't have to be with me to be with her."

She ran her fingers through my now dry hair continuously. "I think Rose will be glad you got that through your head," she laughed. "Are you okay?"

"I will be Alice. For the first time, I finally feel like myself, before Edward. It feels good."

"That's the spirit!" She squealed. "I miss my sarcastic and funny Bells!"

I laughed hard at her outburst and got up to start getting ready for Pepsi's spring fling tonight. Rosalie was already at the venue making sure everything was set up properly. She was always the best at 'negotiating' with the personnel to do their job correctly.

We had come up with a 'kid in a candy store' theme and got Nestle and Hershey to sponsor the event. We had a variety of candy set up and bags for each guest to load up with while the whole place was set up like a candy store. It was creative and it was bringing in a nice sum for our fast rising company. I was excited to get to it, especially since Alice, Rosalie and I had beautiful dresses picked out for the event which was of course, all Alice's doing.

She had dressed me in a black and silver strapless dress that came tight around the stomach and bust to flare out into a full skirt which ended at my knees. It was flirty and I loved it. We had been planning this event for almost a year, and we were very anxious to see it come together.

Alice and I did manicures and pedicures for each other while we reminisced about our childhoods and college years. We took our time to get ready while Alice did my hair and makeup for me. I put on my dress while she did her makeup and hair and by the time I had my shoes on, Alice was ready to go. She looked beautiful in a black, sweetheart style dress that went straight to the floor. It was flattering and showcased her growing middle beautifully.

When we reached the bottom of the staircase, Jasper was dressed smartly in a black suit and black tie that matched Alice's dress. He gazed at her with love and adoration in his eyes as he looked upon his soul mate. I was so happy that they had found each other. Jasper had dropped off Tyler at Jasper's parent's house while we were upstairs talking.

He grabbed Alice's hand and kissed it sweetly. "You look gorgeous, my beautiful wife," he spoke in his southern drawl. "You both do," he said while looking over at me.

She pecked him on the lips and thanked him as she tucked her hand in his. Jasper escorted us out, while I smiled happily in the background at our success in business and life.

* * *

**I forgot to mention in the other chapters but Ms. Meyer owns all while I own a 96' Lumina and a black lab named Scout. This is a DevonAshleigh creation so NO STEALING. 2010. **

**A/N- Ughh I am an epic, epic fail. I have no idea why, but this chapter was hard for me to write and I'm not sure if I'm happy with it. I have started writing my next chapter which I think will be in EPOV and I will work my best to make sure that it isn't an exact replica of the BPOV part. I hate it when authors do that. If it's not in EPOV next chapter, then the chapter after that. It's whatever sparks my muse. Anyways, thanks for sticking with me and I will try my hardest not to make you guys wait that long again. PLEASE R&R!**


	5. Chapter 4 A Drop in the Ocean

**Before the Worst  
****Chapter 4 – A Drop in the Ocean**

_As my train rolls down the east coast I wonder how you keep warm_

_It's too late to cry_

_Too broken to move on_

_And still I can't let you be_

_Most nights I hardly sleep_

_Don't take what you don't need from me_

I thought that the hardest thing I would ever have to do in my life was to leave Bella. Boy, was I fucking wrong. I know now that the hardest thing I would ever go through was realizing that Gracie grew up without me.

I was proud of my life and what I had accomplished in Chicago. I gave everything I could while going through residency to be offered a spot at a prestigious hospital in Chicago in emergency medicine. When I told my father, you could see the pride shine in his eyes and the love spill through and that was enough to leave her; or so I thought.

I went apartment searching the next day to rent a penthouse close to the hospital and begin the cycle of arrogance and unnecessary spending. I had nothing to worry about. I would be set for life not only with my trust fund but with the incredible job that I had been given. Why would I bother worrying?

During my first week in my new job, my heart was aching. I had this unfamiliar feeling of pain that would follow me wherever I went and I didn't understand it. Why would I be in pain? I had everything I could have ever asked for and hoped for. I tried to ignore it and in turn wound up becoming friends with James, another doctor in the hospital.

We frequented the new bar that was close to my apartment for drinks after work. The Canteen offered a quiet spot with excellent ambience to bring home many drunk, sometimes single, women. James had always had an air of confidence about him that I have never experienced from the way my mother had raised me. It was cocky but he brought home a new woman every night.

In the beginning, it was a way that I could help sedate the pain and fulfill the urges that I had. It always left me hungry and waiting for more, but the void only seemed filled when I was with Bella. She wasn't here and I had left her. I slept with more women, sometimes two a night to help cloud that void.

I hadn't realized how low I had become until James and I decided to bet on how many women we could successfully take home and sleep with in one Friday night. After work, we went to the Canteen like usual, and ordered our first round of scotches. He turned to me and looked at me with this expression on his face that I couldn't register. "Care to make this evening interesting Dr. Cullen?"

I fidgeted a little on the barstool, but I never backed down on a dare. I took a long swig from the cold glass before I spoke, "What did you have in mind?"

He put the glass down on the bar and spoke harshly, "A little wager of sorts. We give ourselves till the bar closes at two-thirty to see how many women we can successfully get back to our apartments and bed. You win; I do all your paperwork for a week at work. I win; I get to drive your car for a week. What do you say?"

I felt disgusted. There was a difference between going to sleep with many women to help fill my pain and betting on how many women would be willing to give themselves to us. In Chicago, I never had many friends, and James was my only close friend. He wasn't the kind of guy that I could come to with my problems, but he did help pass the time with companionship. It was a welcome distraction. If I didn't take this bet, he would probably discontinue our friendship, and I couldn't risk that. If my mother was here now, she would never forgive me.

"You're on James." I took the last pull from the glass and set it down loudly. I wiped my mouth with the back of my sleeve and walked over to my first table to a single girl, with strawberry blond hair. She was hot with legs that seemed to go on for miles while seemingly sophisticated with her empty martini. It was obvious she was a trust fund baby like I was, with her designer dress and heels. It was ambitious, but I always accepted a challenge.

I walked up to her with confidence and asked, "Can I buy you another?"

She looked me over and her eyes seemed to go wide. I was still in my scrubs because it usually attracted girls knowing that they could get with the hot doctor. She tried to seem sexy with her smile, but it came out fake. "Of course. Please, sit?"

I sat next to her rather than across from her. I ordered her another round and discovered that her name was Tanya Denali and she was housed in Chicago working for her father's law firm. It had an amazing reputation, but that didn't surprise me. After a half hour of talking, she was thoroughly trashed and agreed to come back to my apartment. It was quick, messy and an experience I never wanted to live through again. After what seemed like decades, she was in a cab and on her way back to her apartment while I left for the bar again.

It was not unusual for my void to become a gaping hole and I would send the first girl packing to only begin with a second. I was way past a point of pride and self-worth. All I could ever think about was Bella and I was left empty. I was so stupid.

When I arrived back at the bar, James wasn't there which I gave credit to the fact that he had taken a girl home. I approached another blonde who I found out was named Lauren. One thing led to another and I was in her apartment for round two. I left her a note after she fell asleep and scrammed out of there.

I felt disgusting but determined that all my efforts would not go to waste tonight. By the time the evening had rolled around, I had slept with four women, which was a milestone for me. I tried to take comfort in the fact that all was consensual but I used them and I knew it.

James met me in the front of the bar at exactly two-thirty looking quite disheveled. His hair was a mess and his dress shirt was buttoned incorrectly while he reeked of sex and god knows what else.

"The moment of truth Cullen. How many, is the 25,000 dollar question?"

I smiled smugly at him. "Four."

I was quickly deflated with a boisterous laugh directed straight in my face and in my heart. "Four? I thought you would be on your game tonight. I got six, and also your car for the week."

I looked at him completely baffled at how he managed to do that physically let alone skillfully within a three-hour period. I accepted defeat and offered him my keys and made him promise to return it in the same condition it was borrowed in, without bodily fluids.

I took a cab home that night where I proceeded in doing what I did mostly every night. I got drunk while flipping through an album of Bella and I. I could have stayed with her and enjoyed my average hospital job while I watched us get married and her filled with my child, but I didn't. I had to live with that. That's what alcohol was invented for anyways right?

When I thought back to that night almost a year ago, it was definitely my breaking point. I proceeded to spend my days at the hospital while getting piss drunk by myself every night. I rarely hung out with James after that night. I didn't need a friend like that, not when I had my best buddy Jack Daniels.

I remembered another day very clearly in my mind. The date was December 1 of last year and it was a particularly chilly day in Chicago. I had my first few days ff from the hospital and I took reverence in a bottle of vodka while it was only noon. I was drunker than I had ever been and I decided that I had enough. I was going to give up my job in Chicago, go back to my family and go back to Bella. All I needed to know was if she was going to take me back. I booked the next flight to Seattle where I tried hopelessly to write down my apology on a cocktail napkin while keeping my buzz from in-flight drinks. When the plane touched down, I went to Alice's house. Bella was never one to protect her facebook. I took a look at it sometimes when I felt especially down, and I learned that today she was celebrating a birthday party at Alice's. I had no idea whose birthday it was. All I knew was that I had to talk to her. I had to convince her to take me back.

I stood on the front porch of my sister's house while I heard the faint laughter of children on the other side. My nephews were probably playing in the back, and I couldn't wait to spend some time with them. I hated leaving my family behind.

I knocked on the door and waited for an answer. My sister answered the door and looked at me in horror. I guess I looked as bad as I felt.

"What are you doing here," she shrieked. She closed the door behind her body as she stepped out onto the porch.

"It's nice to see you too Alice," I said while hugging her.

I obviously missed her sarcasm in the last statement because she rolled her eyes before replying, "Edward, why are you here?"

"I'm back Alice. I need her back. I came back to be with you guys." I tried to move forward to get to the door, but she angled her body in between it. "Move, Alice. I have to talk to her. I HAVE TO GET HER BACK!" I was beginning to get desperate and feeling the effects of the alcohol from the flight comes back into my system.

"You are not seeing her like this. Just get that idea out of your head, Edward. You are drunk and you look like shit. You smell like a fucking brewery." She scrunched up her nose in disgusting while putting a hand flat against my chest.

I was getting frustrated. "Alice, she doesn't care what I look like. Please, I need her. I was so stupid and scared. I never should have left her, Alice! I didn't get a chance to explain!"

The look of pity in my sister's eyes broke my heart. "Edward, you're too late. She found someone else. She's happy and it's time you let her go." She spoke softly and carefully while reading the expression on my face.

I was blank. I was numb. I walked away from my sister with a broken expression while she yelled after me trying to get me into a cab and to a hotel. I walked down the driveway and walked for what seemed like forever. I finally made it to a hotel in the middle of the city and slept for the next two days. I ignored all the calls from my family and booked a return flight back to Chicago.

I ended up deciding to move back to Seattle for my family, not for Bella. Alice was pregnant again after years of trying, and I wouldn't miss another milestone in her life. I got a good offer at Seattle General and settled into a nice apartment close to the apartment. It was small, but humble after living so frivolously for the last four years. I ditched the penthouse and the fancy job to go back to the way my mother raised me. I left James and his stupid womanizing ways back in Chicago.

I was counting down the days till I saw Bella. I know that it would be a matter of time. I figured today was as good as a day as any when I accepted the dinner invitation from Alice to go to Emmett's tonight. I offered to bring some appetizers, as I had to go grocery shopping anyways.

I pulled into the local grocery store and grabbed a cart. I went down the aisles one by one grabbing some items for during the week as well. I figured I could cook the appetizers before a meeting as Seattle General that I had to attend this afternoon. On my way home from the hospital, I would quickly change and bring over the food.

I smelled her signature strawberry scent before I saw her. It flooded my memory with the days where I would hold her and make love to her. It used to envelope me and takes over all my senses. All I could feel was her, and that's how I felt at this moment.

I looked at her with curiosity. She looked mostly the same, but curvier. It looked like she filled out during the years and I was afraid I would be caught staring at her now larger chest.

I cleared my throat to try to take away the nervousness as I spoke to her, "Hello, Bella."

I was about to speak again when she ran over to me and hugged me hard. I tensed for a moment, taken completely by surprise. I guess I was shocked for more than a few moments, because she pulled back and looked at me. If I could drown in her eyes, I knew right then that I would have. They were so gorgeous and I thought from one stare, I would be able to see into her soul. I looked at her with a curious expression. She was supposed to be with someone else, yet she's clinging to me like a small child. I relished in it even though it left me utterly confused.

Before my brain could catch up to my heart, I spoke to her adoringly. "I missed you too, Bella."

I tried to back track as I took a jar of pasta up off the shelf, pretending to look at the ingredient list.

I heard her voice clear as day for the first time in four years. It sounded like a lost melody that I had been trying to uncover. "You what?"

The arrogant man from Chicago took over as I tried to explain my unexpected reaction. "I said I missed you too. Although, I never expected a greeting like that." I smiled at her.

She seemed extremely nervous while she fiddled with her grocery list. "I'm…I'm..not s-s-sure what..came over...me," she stammered. She was always so passive when we were together and reserved. I loved it, but I always wished that she would stand up to me. Angry Bella always got me hot.

I took a quick peek at my watch and realized the time. I had just enough to make the appetizers before the meeting, but I had to leave now. I put the sauce down and looked at her, trying to convey my apologies. ""Listen, I really need to talk to you but I just don't have the time right now. Is there any way we can meet up later tonight? Coffee perhaps? Or are you coming to Rose's for dinner tonight? Maybe I'll see you there."

She stood up taller and looked at me with a hard look. "Edward, I'm not sure what you have left to discuss that couldn't have been discussed years ago. Maybe it's the fact that I haven't heard a word from you in four years, or maybe it's the fact that you left me crushed and broken. Whatever it is, I have no desire to speak to you, nor do I wish to see you tonight at Rose's."

The words stung like a thousand bee stings straight to my heart. I was upset and hurt. I never meant to hurt Bella. I hated to see her like that, but I deserved her words. I shook my head out and tried to remain indifferent. ""I'm not going to give up. There are so many things that were left unsaid and I would really like to make a proper apology and explain myself. Whether you would like to see me tonight or not, I will be at my brother's for dinner. Please reconsider."

She seemed lost in thought and I really needed to be running. "I'm sorry Bella. I've got to run. Here's my card and if I don't see you at dinner tonight, please call me anytime." I handed her my card and quickly left the aisle to pay for my groceries.

I had just made it home in enough time to get everything ready for tonight. I made some classic nachos with tons of cheese, a homemade spinach dip with warmed pita and two types of salad. I placed everything in the fridge before I walked out to the meeting.

I couldn't focus on my boss speaking of new procedures and fire safety during our meeting. All I thought about was Bella and if I would see her tonight. Last time I was here, she was seeing someone. Was it serious? Did they break up or are they still together? I needed to know more and obviously if she didn't forgive me, why did she hug me? What would it take to get her back?

I headed home and got changed before heading over to Rosalie's. Just as I was getting out, I saw Bella carrying a small child in her arms. I was puzzled and filled with thoughts of another man being intimate with her. My blood boiled as I sat in my car and watched them talk to each other and she loaded the girl into the car. I couldn't think straight while thoughts of another man's child being inside her. She was supposed to be with me and have all those things with me.

I furrowed my brows at the sight of Bella and her daughter. She looked a little old to be from a recent relationship. There was never a mention of a man or a daughter on her facebook page or on the website for the event business between her and my sisters. A single thought crossed my mind. It took all the breath right out of my lungs and I wanted to throw up. Unless…

The girl looked in my direction as I got out of the car. I never got to see her face before Bella had scooped her up in her arms protectively. She looked nervous and in that moment I just knew. I looked between the two of them while my mouth hung open a little.

I spoke shakily but tried to keep my blank mask on. "So. What have you got there?"

Bella looked proud as she answered me. "This is Grace Lilly Cullen." _FUCK_! I screamed internally. This could not be happening. I pictured this moment for years, but never like this. I never wanted my child to grow up without their father. I had abandoned her and I hated myself. I began to rub furiously at my face hoping to tear skin and try to get this to disappear.

"So, she must be four then." I asked her. I stared at my daughter. _My daughter._ I loved the sound of a child with Bella. As shocked as I was, this girl had me wrapped around her finger. I stared at my daughter, trying to will her to look at me.

"Her birthday is in November." I looked at Bella intensely. I went to visit Alice's in December…the birthday party was for our daughter. I was there and I missed it. Alice let me walk away without me seeing my daughter. I didn't have a chance to ask Bella before Grace turned around.

She was absolutely incredible. She looked just like me with the best of Bella's features thrown in. She had my hair colour with Bella's insane curls and my green eyes. I never knew I had a child running around in this world who looked exactly like me.

Grace reached out her hand as if to ask to touch me. The look on her face told me she knew exactly who I was. I didn't know how, but the idea was comforting. She was waiting for me.

I turned to Bella and asked silent permission to touch our daughter. I felt like stranger to Grace and that she was fragile and easily broken. She was so precious to me already.

I took my hand out and touched the side of her cheek as she leaned into my touch. She amazed me by blushing the most beautiful shade of pink. Like mother, like daughter.

I began to cry as I tried to convey how amazing she was. "She…I… She is incredible Bella."

"She looks just like you," she replied softly.

I turned to our daughter and asked her, "Grace. Do you know who I am?"

She responded with wide eyes. "Yes."

"Who am I," I asked in disbelief.

"You're the man in my dream who pushed me on the swing with Uncle Jaspey and Uncle Emmy Bear. You're my daddy." She spoke with confidence and conviction. She was so intelligent and intuitive already.

I closed my eyes and let myself break in front of her for a few seconds. I sobbed into my hands at all of the memories I missed and everything I left Bella to do by herself. The anger came as quick as the sadness. Why didn't she tell me? Why did she let me leave when she knew she was pregnant? How could she hide this from me?

She interrupted my thoughts just as the anger was building. "Edward. Let's go inside and we can talk about this. Everyone will be waiting for us."

"I can't. I have a lot I need to process. I need to talk to you about this, Bella. I NEED TO KNOW WHY?" I knew I was getting out of hand but I couldn't help it. How did she expect me to go into dinner with my family, who had lied to me during every phone call and every e-mail?

Her expression seemed fierce as she took our daughter and loaded her into her car seat safely. I fought the urge to go check and make sure she was tied in properly. She turned to me and calmly replied, "First of all Edward, you left me remember? I never walked out on you. I was fully intending to tell you I was pregnant. I was going to tell you that night in fact, but you left me! Second of all, don't you dare yell in front of Grace. She is your daughter, but I raised her and I will be the one there when she is crying about her daddy yelling at her! Lastly, it seems you are in NO shape to deal with dinner at Rose's. I will make some phone calls and I will meet you at my house. Here's the address; bring pizza." She handed me the piece of paper and drove off without another word.

I stood there for a moment calming myself down. I got into my car mechanically and drove to my favourite pizza store. I got in and ordered a pepperoni as well as Bella's favourite. I acted robotically while my mind tried to sort through all these new emotions. Protectiveness, fierce loyalty, worry, guilt, anger, pity, sadness. Those were just to name a few.

I arrived at the address with pizza in tow and got out to grab it from the back seat. The house was gorgeous of course and totally Bella. It had all the charming qualities that she had always spoke of. The white picket fence and the light blue shudders were trademark country setting while being in the big city.

I approached the door and thought about ringing the bell before a voice spoke beside me. "Grace is asleep, so please don't ring the doorbell."

"Holy shit, Bella! Are you trying to give me a heart attack," She scared the shit out of me, causing me to jump slightly.

"Are you planning on murdering those pizzas, because if you do, we're going to have to think of an alibi," She was joking with me while we were trying to avoid the pink elephant that was sitting between us gloating.

I chuckled slightly even though this situation was anything but funny. "Is it still considered murder if they volunteered their life as sustenance?"

She got up and walked over to me and looked as if she was going to reach up and ask for kiss. It was a routine we used to do before we had split. If either one of us would come home after a long day, we would wordlessly look at each other and kiss. It was comforting and it brought home the feeling of a real-break up.

I locked eyes with her and tried to show her that it wasn't like that anymore. Too much had passed between us to be repaired by a loving gesture. She was with someone else, and I had to make up for lost time with my daughter.

I tried to break the awkward silence. "I brought your favourite… or what used to be your favourite, vegetarian with extra green peppers."

"Thank you. Let's bring this inside." I followed her wordlessly through the door into the large foyer. It was beautiful and you could see Bella in every aspect. It was warm and inviting while still remaining almost obscenely huge for just the two of them. Maybe her boyfriend lives with her? "Wow, this is incredible."

She smiled slightly. "Thank you, Edward."

We walked through the foyer down two steps and into what looked like the kitchen/dining room area. Bella turned on the light switch and tried to reach up for the plates. It was clear that she was too short and I stepped in to retrieve them off the high shelf.

As I grasped the plates, my entire right side rubbed against her body. I felt the electric shock and the blood rush to a certain part of my body. I tried to adjust myself in my jeans while the other hand reached to get the plates. I set them down on the table and we began to dish it out. It was quiet and we were ignoring the obvious issue. For the first time, Bella and I had an uncomfortable silence.

I couldn't wait any longer. I had to know the facts. I looked up at her and mumbled, "How far along were you when I left?"

She chewed the inside of her lip before responding quietly. "Six weeks. I had just found out about a week before you left."

"Why didn't you tell me right away?"

She sighed heavily with annoyance. "I wanted to surprise you. On my way home from the doctors, I passed this house. I remember the feeling of home as I passed it and I went to take a tour. I bought it for us, that day, so that we could start our family. I was going to put a pregnancy test on the master bed when we came for the inspection the next week."

I lost myself in thought as I looked back to that day. "That's where you were going to take me…" Another thought turned into my mind. "You bought this house for us, without consulting me?"

"You're seriously mad at me for buying a house without you rather than the small child upstairs? Edward, you need to get your priorities sorted out. I can only take so much yelling at one time. Pick your battles, please,"

"Bella, my mind is racing right now. I can't pick what I want to yell at you about because I want to yell at EVERYTHING!" I was angry and panting now. I wouldn't let her see the sadness anymore. I was pissed at her for letting me miss everything. I pinched the bridge of my nose to stop from kissing her and hitting her all the same time.

"So yell, FIGHT ME, DO SOMETHING! I can't fucking take this silence anymore Edward! Stop being so calm! SCREAM AT ME. I'm not the same girl you left behind!"

I stood up roughly and heard the chair scrape against the travertine tile. I began to pace trying to control my emotions. I looked at her dead in the eye and spoke menacingly." You had no right, Bella. I'VE MISSED EVERYTHING! I missed her kicks while you were pregnant, late night cravings, her birth, her first words, crawling, walking, first birthday, Christmas, EVERYTHING! You've taken it from me and I can never get it back." I let my anger lose control as I punched the countertop. I saw her wince in the corner of my eye and I felt guilty. She reached over to try to comfort me but I couldn't handle her touch. I retracted my had quickly and saw the sadness in her eyes.

"You took everything from me too, Edward. You took it all when you left. You walked away with my heart and my soul. I can never get those years back with you either." She started to cry and I sighed heavily. She didn't deserve this reaction. I couldn't imagine what she went through. I went over to her against my better judgment and wrapped my arms around her. I felt her mold into my body just where it belonged. I dreamed of this for years, her taking comfort in my touch. I pressed my lips lightly to her hair while she cried out her apologies.

We were both vulnerable and hurt. I didn't think about our breakup, our daughter, and her new boyfriend or me walking out on her while I pressed my lips softly to hers. I thought about home, recklessness, comfort and wholeness. I kissed her with passion and all the built up love I had for her. I would try from that day on to her get back again. I wanted to make us a family and nothing was going to stop that. I needed her and Grace like I needed air.

I felt the hardening in my pants as I moved my hands along her back. Her body felt just like it had years ago. It left me a complete mess and breathless.

After kissing for what seemed like an eternity and broke away and grabbed my hands. She looked me in the eye as she walked backwards towards the staircase. I followed her lead. I wanted to feel nothing more than her body pressed against mine in the most intimate manner.

I followed her down the hallway past the bedrooms and into her master suite. The large bed was filled with soft pillows and dark grey sheets. She turned back to me and kissed me hard. I grabbed the bottom of her shirt and stilled, asking her permission. She nodded slightly and I pulled it off while her tongue assaulted mine. We broke apart, just long enough for her to take the offensive garment off. I quickly kissed the skin that was in my view and took a rosy nipple into my mouth. "Oh god, Bella," I grunted heavily. "You taste incredible; better than I had imagined."

"Mmm Edward," She moaned. She reached the hem of my shirt and I pushed her back against the bed while I pulled it off. I had waited for this for so long. She was so beautiful lying against the sheets while her skin goose bumped from the wind of the open window. While I was taking in her magnificent body, she was praising mine. "You're magnificent Edward."

I looked at her lovingly and pressed my body against hers. We were both on the bed while my fingers continued their assault. I was determined to take in everything. As I touched her body, her hips would buck and her back would arch into me. She was still so responsive to my touch and I loved it. "Bella, you've become so incredibly beautiful. I've missed you so much."

I continued to kiss softly down her neck as she undid the button on my jeans while pulling them and my boxers down. She wrapped her soft hand around my erection and I lost the ability to think before I spoke. "Unnngh, Bella. Fuck, I love your hands, baby."

I began to rub small circles on her thighs with the full intention of going further. I could smell her arousal and I had to hold off the desire to plunge deep within her. My love was apparently impatient and could no longer wait anymore.

"More, Edward. Please." I slipped my finger quickly into her folds while complying with her request. She wriggled beneath my touch while her eyes rolled back into her head. I used my index finger to roll small circles onto her clit. I rubbed her until she was begging me to fuck her senseless. I still knew everything she liked and continued to fuck her with my fingers until she moaned my name loudly.

"I love making you cum baby. You look so fucking hot knowing it was me that did that to you," I growled into her flesh. I smiled up at her knowing that no other woman would ever complete me as much as she did. The void finally felt whole as I thrust myself completely into her. I stopped slightly and let her adjust before I moved slowly in and out of her. She was so wet and so tight, nothing had ever felt better.

I looked at her before I spoke the words I had been dying to tell her. "I'm sorry Bella. I should have never left you. I love our daughter."

I moved harder and faster in side of her hoping to get her off again. I wouldn't last long like this, and I wanted her to feel satisfied. I knew she was on the edge when her breathing began erratic and she began to clench.

"Cum with me Edward," she moaned loudly "Please, I need you. Make me yours again."

Those words were my undoing as I came harder than I ever had. It was primal and cavemanesque as I went deeper into her to spill my seed. I wanted everyone to know she was mine. I wanted it all to be over and everything to be sorted out. I wanted us to move into her house that she had wanted for a home for us, and her to be filled with my child as I played with our daughter. She would always be the one and I hated that I was scared of that before.

I moved beside her and held her with all that I had. I tried to pour the love that I felt into the hug and all the promise of everything I had wanted for us. Her breathing began to even out and I quietly slipped out of bed.

I had to get home for my shift at the hospital. I also had a choice few words I would like to say to my parents. I wanted nothing more than to stay with her and be with her but I didn't want her to wake up. I wrote her a small note telling her I was really sorry and that I had to be at the hospital for my shift. I placed it onto the side table and hoped that the open window wouldn't blow it away. I also let her know that I would see her at the Pepsi event and that I hoped we could talk. I wanted to spend more time with her and especially Gracie. I desperately wanted to get to know my daughter and I hope that we could be together and that she would forgive me.

I gave her a small kiss on the cheek and closed the door softly. I padded down the hall and got to a door that had the small letters of Grace spelled out. I pushed the door open quietly and looked into the room. It was dark outside but her nightlight was creating a soft glow on her face. She looked like a little angel while she slept.

I walked into the room and placed a gentle hand on her back while she slept. I watched her breathing even and steady and placed a kiss on her forehead. I walked out of the room and out the front door. I looked back at the house before I drove away, knowing that my whole future lay within.

* * *

**Disclaimer: owns all. I own a macbook pro and a lot of Easter chocolate. This story belongs to DevonAshleigh and is not to be plagiarized or copied without EXPLICIT permission. Copyright 2010.**

**A/N: It's a little long and some of it is the same as the BPOV but I tried to get some background into it so perhaps the Edward hating would tone down haha. Also, it explains a little bit why Edward left but all will be revealed properly soon. **

**What do you guys think about what Alice did? It was clear she wasn't seeing anyone. What will happen when Bella finds out Alice said that? What about the letter he wrote her? She never did get it, and now she thinks she has been hurt and she doesn't want to be with him anymore. What will Edward do to change it? What will happen when Bella sees Edward at the event?**

**Spring fling next chapt. Review as Always. **

**xoxo. Dev.**


	6. Chapter 5 Best Days of Your Life

**Before the Worst  
****Chapter 5 – Best Days of Your Life**

_Does she know, know about the times you used to hold me,_

_Wrap me in your arms,_

_And how you told me I'd be the only one?_

_'Cause I'll be there in the back of your mind,_

_From the day we met to the very last night._

_And it's just too bad._

_You've already had the best days,_

_The best days of your_

_Life with me was a fairy tale love._

_I was head-over-heels 'til you threw away us._

_And it's just too bad._

I felt truly exquisite as I walked outside of the house and into the limo that Alice had insisted to pick us up. I was on the arm of a man who I loved dearly, even if it was only platonic, while my best friend stood on the other side proudly. I was wearing a beautiful dress with designer heels and a little girl was waiting for me to come home to her. Even after all this, why do I still feel like I've been shattered into a million pieces?

It was the million dollar question that Alice had scoffed over for hours, and one I very briefly told Jasper about. I never wanted to see him again and I hoped that they understood that. I knew I was creating an uncomfortable position for his family, but I couldn't face him yet.

I had just gotten over the fact that he would never come back to me and never wanted to be true family. If he just walked back in, to only expect a hug and an 'I miss you', he was sadly mistaken. My parents didn't raise a fool. He wouldn't walk all over me.

I had to be in his life already for the sake of our daughter. I didn't question the adoration in his eyes as he looked at her. I knew that Edward was never the man to walk away from his responsibilities and that he took pride in showing off his beautiful baby girl as he rightfully should. I would never stand in the way of my Gracie getting to know her father. I however, had to hold back the urge to punch him straight in the baby maker.

I sighed heavily as the limo pulled away from Alice's cozy home. It drove to the Pepsi event that we had all worked so hard on. Rosalie had texted us earlier and let us know that everything was going on without a hitch. I naturally waited for the other shoe to drop as I caught up on some emails from my blackberry.

When we arrived I noticed all the cars in the parking lot, along with the limousines that lined up the front entrance of the hall. It was a huge turnout and I couldn't be happier than to see everyone enjoy the fruits of our labour. We exited the doors and walked in to the beautifully decorated hall.

I gasped as I looked on at everyone enjoying the décor. We had planned it, sure, but Rosalie was the master of executing ideas. She had obviously shown everyone where to put everything so it looked **exactly** like an old candy and soda shop. This is why we paid her the big bucks.

The hall was lined up in bright colours of fabric with a classic sign welcoming the employees and guests to the event. In the foyer, the candy selection was set up with the waitress dressed up in white t-shirts and red and white stripped apron skirts. It was very wholesome with a sex appeal that was trademark Alice. The candy was arranged in bins while the guests made their orders and the girls dished it out.

As we walked into the banquet hall, there was a fifty's style band playing classic music to the era. They had timely clothing on and their voices were incredible and angelic. The guests were dancing and having a lot of fun as the bright coloured theme continued into the scenes. The centerpieces on the table were in the shape of a milkshake while bright rocks and multicoloured flowers added a flirty touch. I was very proud at everything and took a moment to sip my champagne and take it all in.

I sat at the bar quietly while Alice and Jasper slipped away to check on Rosalie. I knew better as I saw them eye the dance floor and walk slowly over to it. Jasper always wanted an excuse to hold Alice as he looked at her like she was everything to him. Even pregnant and swollen, Alice had an incomparable beauty.

I sat by the bar, by myself, as I tried to keep the thoughts of these past few days out of my head. I sipped my champagne throughout the first hour while I watched Rose arguing with the caterers. She was hilarious as she tried to get them to deliver dinner on time. I usually stayed out of it and so did Alice. Rosalie appreciated it much more that way.

We worked as a team. I would acquire the customers while ordering and checking the budget. I mostly did the monetary stuff with the paperwork while Alice was the genius behind the organization. She is the one that had all the ideas and told me exactly what to order. Rose liked to keep herself busy on the day of the event and during the evening while she made sure everything was properly executed. She could boss someone around like no other.

"Can I get you another?" I looked behind me to see one of the executives that we had worked with to organize the party. His name was Peter Sullivan and he was gorgeous. He had a high paid position in the Pepsi Company as the senior director of Marketing. He had gone to Yale and I had seen his parents during my brief time in the social elite circle. He was generous and unusually kind, a complete puppy dog really. His blond hair and blue eyes stood out from the rest while he wore a gunmetal grey suit. It was expensive, and the classic lines did wonders for his tall, slightly muscular frame.

"Of course Peter," I smiled brightly. I left my empty glass on the bar while I picked up another from his hand.

"You look absolutely radiant tonight Bella." I unfortunately blushed and tried to turn my head away so that he wouldn't see. I know he did when he chuckled softly at me. "Don't be shy Bella. It was purely a compliment."

"Thank you," I said quietly to him. I never got shy, this was definitely a first. "Are you enjoying the party?" I asked while changing the subject.

He looked around and exhaled loudly. "Yeah, of course. You guys did an amazing job. We will be calling on you for the next event for sure." He looked at me dead in the eyes. "It's perfect."

I took a sip of my champagne while I watched him look at me. We fell into a comfortable silence while the band was playing in the background. He cleared his throat, "Bella, I was wondering if you'd like to have dinner with me sometime?"

My mind jumped and squealed with glee while my heart was slowly breaking. It wouldn't be the first date since Edward left, but it would be the first date since I tried to consciously get over him. I had to jump into this head first. "I would love to Peter," I said happily while I smiled at him.

He shot me a breathtaking smile and took my head softly in his. "That's great. How's next Saturday at 8pm?"

"That would be lovely. It's a date." I looked behind Peter while Alice was jumping up and down, clutching her stomach to get my attention. I let out a large sigh when she added the hand waving in as well. "I'm so sorry, Peter. You'll have to excuse me. I have a deranged pregnant woman who had had too much sugar trying to get my attention. Save a dance for me?"

"Sure, Bella." He said while letting go of my hand. "I'll be cashing in on that dance though."

"I'm looking forward to it! Come find me later." I gave him a small hug as I walked away towards Alice in the foyer.

As I got up to her I saw that she was rubbing her stomach soothingly as she panted. "Jesus, Alice. What is wrong?"

She let out a large huff at my annoyed tone. "Only the end of the world Bella!"

I rolled my eyes at her. "Should I evacuate the room, Ali? It better not be like that summer in ninth grade when you thought aliens were intercepting our communication through televisions and you made me shut off the rerun of Buffy that I was watching –"

She pinched me hard in the arm as I let out a loud yelp. "As much fun as this is walking down memory lane Bella, we have major issues!"

I rubbed the sore spot on my arm. "Well it's a good thing lieutenant solution is here," I teased. She pinched me again while I let out a large scream. "ALICE! That's going to bruise!"

"Bella! Edward is here." As she let out the words, I paled. There was a blank stare on my face, I was sure of it. I don't know who invited him here, but their balls were about to be severed and made into meat pies, Sweeny Todd style.

I tried to act nonchalant about the whole ordeal while my mind was whirling. "So…? That's all it takes to bring down mankind then? I wish I knew this before I dated him. Apparently, I can't bring him anywhere."

She looked at me like I had swallowed a moose whole. "Bella, did you hear me? Are you having a stroke, because I heard that you smell burnt toast when that happens not gummy bears and I smell gummy bears. Maybe it doesn't matter what I smell..."

"Alice, I just don't care. I just got myself a date with Peter Sullivan and I have Gracie at home. I can't fall apart anymore thinking about what could have been. He obviously wasn't celibate when he was away from me and I'm not going to be either. He probably won't even see me," I lied. "I have to go check on Rosie. I'll see you at dinner."

She hugged me tightly and for the first time I felt the baby moving between us against my skin. It was a beautiful thing. I suddenly felt extreme emptiness at the thought of not being pregnant anymore. I knew that it was a hard time when I was pregnant with Gracie, but all it took was one kick for me to feel infinitely better. I patted her stomach thoughtfully where the baby was moving and bent down for a kiss. I got up from the position and went to find Rosalie.

Rose was in the kitchen speaking Spanish to the waiting staff. I was incredibly surprised at this. I never knew Rosalie spoke Spanish, and could curse in it. I was glad for the times I took Spanish in college purely to understand this conversation. I laughed out loud when she called one of the waiters an 'incompetent dickbag' which caused her to look over at me and try to cover up a smile. She breathed through her nose and closed her eyes for a moment before turning back to the wait staff to continue yelling. I knew that she had everything in order when she continued to yell and shove a hand behind her back for a 'shooing' motion towards me. I smiled a wide grin at the lovely women that accompanied me on the crazy journey that is my life.

During the evening, one of the girls in the band got so drunk that she passed out and almost projectile vomited on the few couples in the front dancing. I got so preoccupied with trying to fix that and making sure everything was on time, that the next thing I knew, it was midnight. I quickly headed out the door with Jasper and Alice while Rosalie had left hours before to get home to Emmett and the boys. I said a quick goodbye to Peter and told him my address to confirm the date. I let out a sigh of relief in the limo that I was so 'behind-the-scenes' that I didn't see Edward once that night. Everything was amazing, and everyone had a lovely time.

I got out of the limo when it pulled up to my house and gave Jasper a kiss on the cheek goodbye. I told him to tell Alice goodbye as she had passed out spread completely along one seat of the limo while Jasper held her dress closed in the front to stop any frontal action view.

I felt like dead weight as I walked up the porch steps to the front door. I kept my attention on my clutch purse while I staggered slightly due to tiredness. With my eyes downcast, I hadn't realized that a man was sitting on my porch steps till I got to them. I looked up, mortified to see an exhausted and disheveled Edward with his tie handing loosely in his hand sitting on my steps.

I was too fucking tired for this shit tonight. "Edward, what are you doing here at one in the morning? Have you forgotten where you live, because it isn't here."

I couldn't even bother to care about the visible wince that he had done and the venom circling my words. "I had to talk to you Bella. I didn't see you all night and you didn't answer any of my calls. Did I do something wrong?"

_Are you fucking kidding me right now?_ "Yes, Edward. You did something wrong when you fucked me last night and left this morning before I woke up without a single word!" I was yelling now and I couldn't be bothered to care.

I held up a single finger to silence him as he tried to interrupt me. "I didn't get your calls this afternoon; I was with Alice getting ready. Not that I would have answered them anyways. I have nothing more to say to you, Edward. I'm broken again. I'm so done that done can't even see the finish line anymore because it's so far past it. I can't take this shit anymore. I am moving on, it's over."

He sat silently as he watched me with tears in his eyes. I huffed at him bitchily as I got out my key and began to unlock my door. I turned back to him when I saw the key make its final turn. "I don't have anything left to give you, Edward. You've taken it all from me and now I'm left to pick up the pieces. I do hope that you still want to be with Gracie. She already loves you, I can see it." I laughed slightly at my daughter's ability to give her love willingly. "All I ask is that when or if you decide to see her that you don't walk away from her like you did with me. I won't let you do that to her. It's all or nothing with her. Unfortunately, it's nothing with me. Goodnight, Edward."

He made no move to look at me while he kept his face forward toward the driveway. I looked at his defeated form and saw his shoulders slowly shaking in sobs. It was unusual how yesterday when he was doing that in Rose's driveway, I wanted nothing more than to wrap my arms around him. Today, I wanted nothing more than for him to cry over what he lost because for the first time, I wasn't.

* * *

**Disclaimer: S. Meyer owns all. I own an iPhone and my ticket stubs from Remember Me. This story is purely DevonAshleigh's. It is not to be plagiarized or copied without explicit permission. Copyright DevonAshleigh 2010. **

**A/N: I know! What a dirty Beootch!!! My poor Daddyward. I lurb him dearly, but Bella felt she had to kick his butt. Total character take over. This was short chapter, but no bitching from the 7,000 word one that was last chapter!**

**Now that all this drama has happened I'm going to try to get more into Bella dating and a relationship between Edward and Gracie. They so badly need it. Don't worry I believe in HEAS and I WILL NEVER HAVE A STORY WHERE BELLA AND EDWARD DON'T END UP TOGETHER. It totally ruins my true love delusion. I'm probably going to start doing some more background between Edward and Bella with Gracie's bed time stories too but we'll see how that goes. **

**What did you guys think? Do you want to slap Bella as much as I do? As ever, let me know. **

**Love you all like I love Edward in a suit. xoxo, Dev.**


	7. Chapter 6 Fall for Anything

**Before the Worst  
****Chapter 6 – Fall for Anything**

_Please don't be so naive, don't wait till your heart bleeds_

_Love wasn't built for speed, listen to me girl_

_He keeps fuckin' with your head, tryin' get you into bed_

_And in the morning you'll just hate yourself_

_It's the same damn things your so quick to believe_

_You do it over and over again_

_And it's the same mistakes that I'm watching you make_

_You do it over and over again and over again_

_So before they bring you down_

_You've gotta stand for something, or you'll fall for anything…_

The week following the Pepsi event went well and relatively quiet. Nothing major had sparked in my love life, my work life, or my personal life and for that I was glad. I just needed some down time from all the chaos that was my life this past weekend.

It was Saturday morning; a full week from the day that I let Edward know that it was truly over. Another man, Peter, was taking me out on a date that night and had already confirmed our dinner reservations this week. Twice. I hadn't heard from Edward yet, but it was bound to happen eventually considering the things we had in common, mainly our daughter. I knew that he wouldn't stay away from her for long, not after everything he had missed already.

I had fed Gracie her lunch and was keeping a watchful eye on her playing in the front yard with Bailey. I sat on the front porch in the rocking chair while I heard her melodic laughter helping me keep grounded. I sipped my coffee while going over the contracts for the Make-A-Wish Foundation event when I was finally able to be brought back to the serenity only my home could give me. It seemed like it lasted only a short breath.

I heard the tires and mentally cringed at the thought of not getting a big, metal gate at the end of my long ass driveway. Why would I let just anyone come and go again? Oh yeah, because that's how Alice and Rosalie rolled. I scoffed internally. _No consideration._

I was hoping I could lay into them when I heard Emmett roll up the driveway. I loved Em, truly I did. He was playful, caring, and an amazing father and husband. He never let me down and would risk his life for Gracie or any one of his children.

I watched his muscular body get out of the BMW and close the door. Gracie was obviously too absorbed in playing with Bailey to see one of her favourite uncles step up the driveway, or else he would be the one playing with her instead of the dog.

I smiled widely at my savior and put my coffee cup down. "Well, Uncle Emmy Bear; to what do we owe the pleasure?"

He pulled off his sunglasses and stood in front of me with his dress shirt and black pants. His feet stomped together loudly before he stood directly in front of me. "What? No hug before the Spanish inquisition? That's not very ladylike Miss Swan." Emmett held out his arms and I stood up to directly fall into them. He pulled us back from the rocking chair and swung me around a little before setting me back down and taking a seat beside me.

I took another sip of my coffee before speaking. "Do forgive me, good sir." He chuckled softly but did not continue any further. I knew that he had something on his mind when he was not as chatty and energetic as he usually was. This was one of those times.

I looked over my mug at him, directly in the eyes. "Something wrong, Em?"

He fidgeted before slowly responding, "Edward's actually kind of a mess right now, Bells."

I put the mug down sharply. Can't everyone just leave me alone? " And I'm supposed to care why?"

He put out his hands while leaning his elbows on his thighs. He grabbed my hands in his. "Bella, don't be like that. He is broken up over **you.** You know I haven't exactly been my brother's biggest fan over the years, but you've hurt him good this time. He feels like he can't even call you to see his daughter because you'll just hang up. Edward's pretty confused why you are so mad at him anyways, but he says it's your choice. All he wants is to see Gracie, Hun."

I furrowed my brows and took a deep breath in. "I'll call him, Emmett."

"Today, Bella. You'll call him today because Rosalie isn't going to take Gracie tonight for your date."

I pulled my hands sharply from his in anger. "What the fuck, Emmett? I never ask you guys to take her. You know I would rather have her at home with me! Fuck if I'm ever going to take your kids again. You can just kiss my-"

"Whoa," Emmett interrupted, clearly confused. "I didn't mean I wasn't going to take her ever. Relax, Bella. I meant that I told Edward that he could take her."

"You told Edward he could take my four year old daughter whom he has met for all of five minutes for the night?" I got up abruptly and started pacing the front porch. "Are you stupid? I don't even know where he lives, Em. I don't know if it's safe, what he's like, who he associates himself with, if she trusts him. I don't know anything about Edward anymore."

He stood up and placed both of his large hands on my shoulders, effectively stopping my pacing. "You do, Bella. Think of what this will mean for Edward. He has so much left to catch up on. You can leave your child with their father. I'm pretty sure that happens once in awhile."

I laughed slightly, but it came out broken. "I know, Em. I just don't want anything to happen to her. She's what I live for."

He pulled me into a hug and I felt myself slipping into the brotherly comfort. He stroked my hair and whispered softly to me. "It's okay, Christmas Bells. I will kick his ass if anything happens to my Gracie Poo. He'll probably be calling me every thirty seconds to make sure he's doing it right anyways." He continued to stroke my hair until I felt myself calm completely. He pulled back and tucked the hair behind my ears. "Feel better?"

"Yeah, thanks. Where did you learn to do that?"

He huffed playfully, "I grew up with Alice."

I shook my head knowingly. "Ah, yes, the little ball of energy. That makes sense."

We talked for about an hour before Emmett had to get back to work. I checked on Gracie quickly while laughing. She was conducting a tea party complete with her dollies all dressed up and Bailey sitting patiently with her own hat on at the table. I loved her creativity. It was one of the many of her personality quirks that she got from Edward.

I settled back in my seat with another cup of coffee and grabbed the cordless phone from beside me. I stared blankly at it for a good two minutes before I took another ten to actually swallow my metaphorical balls and 'be a man'. I dialed the numbers on the card Emmett had left for me.

It wasn't until the third ring that Edward answered. Forgive my French, but he sounded like complete shit. "Hello?"

I cleared my throat at the sudden tightness and responded calmly. "Hey Edward, it's Bella."

I heard a loud thump before a mumbled curse word. "Bella? Hi. Is everything okay? Is Grace alright?"

I sighed in annoyance. He knew exactly why I had called him. Edward was always a shitty liar. "Yes, Edward. Everything is fine here. I know that Emmett talked to you and I wanted to let you know that it would be fine for you to take care of Gracie."

You could hear the smile in his voice when he heard what I said. "Really? I really want to spend some time with her. I know that you and I aren't in the right place right now, but I miss her already."

I ignored the comment about being in the right place because, frankly, I was still pissed off at Edward for what he did. I don't think I'll ever get over that kind of betrayal from someone I once loved fiercely. "Umm….yeah. Anyways, you can come over here and take care of her here if you want. I mean, she already has anything she will ever need here and there's a fridge full of food. I won't be late, I promise. Maybe 9:30pm? 10pm at the latest."

"That's fine, Bella. Take your time. I'm happy to spend as much time with her as I can. I'll be over at 7:30pm then? Emmett told me you're going out at 8pm so that gives you enough time, right?"

Shit. ABORT, ABORT! What did Emmett tell him about tonight? Oh, I'm going to have his testicles on a skewer if he told him about my date. Edward interrupted my mental torture scene, "Bella? Is that alright?"

I shook my head clear. "What? Oh, 7:30, sure. That's fine. You remember where it is right? Okay, then I'll see you at 7:30."

We hung up and I told Gracie to put her toys away inside and to come in to wash up for dinner. I began cooking the pasta while trying to think of what to wear on my date. I was trying to think of some options while I dished it out and Gracie yapped my ear off. She was so excited to spend time with her daddy tonight. It was like he had gone to work for the day rather than being gone for four years. I admired her ability to forgive and forget.

Gracie was colouring quietly in her room while Bailey kept guard outside her door sleeping. It was like that dog was a sibling to Gracie rather than a pet. I was so thankful for her keeping Gracie occupied.

I stood in front of my closet in a lace panty and bra set. I didn't expect to be bringing Peter home tonight, but that didn't mean I didn't want to feel sexy even if he couldn't see it. It was quarter after seven and all I had left to do was get dressed, but that was causing enough problems as it is. I picked up my phone dialing my guru.

"Hello?" Alice breathed into the phone. She either sounded like she was making a cake or having sex. I wasn't sure I wanted to know.

"Hey Ali, it's me. I can't figure out-"

"Black, short, v-neck dress and those Louboutin bright pink heels. Bye."

I hung up the phone thankful for my best friend and cringing from the mental pictures that the answer to my previous question was resulting in. I got dressed and waited in the front sitting room for Edward to get here.

Edward arrived fifteen minutes late, which meant I would be officially late on my first date in a number of years. Maybe he was doing this on purpose, the little shit.

"GRACIE! Your dad is here, come down please."

I listened for the padding of her little feet followed by the telltale sign of paws before I headed out the door to meet Edward on the driveway.

He got out of the car and I tried to run while putting on my coat and get my keys out at the same time. It looked like a circus act.

"Bella! I'm so sorry! There was an accident on the road and –"

"Don't care. Got to go, be home later. Don't kill the kid. BYE!"

I parked in the driveway at home at exactly 10pm that night. The date with Peter had gone smoothly enough, but dull. Okay, dull was an understatement. It was the most boring thing I had to sit through since I watched Tyler perform in an ice skating version of the Little Mermaid when he was three. The only thing differentiating between the two was less little kids falling on their asses on the ice.

Peter was a perfect gentleman. He opened my car door for me, pulled out my chair for me at dinner and even chastely kissed me goodnight with a surprising amount of saliva despite the closed mouth kiss. I learned he was recently divorced and that he was cocky beyond belief. It really didn't seem that way in the beginning, but I guess as soon as he got the date, all the appeal that I once saw in him was shot.

The only thing good about the date, aside from when I 'accidentally' spilled my wine all over his cream shirt when he recommended a few lessons with his personal trainer to get off that 'pesky baby weight', was that it was a good practice round. I liked the fact that although this date was a total bust, I knew to never date Yale men and that I could actually go out with another man successfully without Edward. He used to be always creeping in the back of my mind, causing me to always compare the men I dated to Edward. I held him on such a high pedestal that none of them would compare, I would get bored with the inadequacy, and break it off without a second date. Tonight, I didn't compare Peter to him once. Not that there was any comparison even if Edward is a skank.

I trudged my defeated body up the porch and unlocked the front door. Edward was just sauntering down the stairs, obviously making himself comfortable in my home, when he spotted me. "Hey, Bells. How did tonight go?"

Ugh, I did not want to make small talk with a man who had amnesia about the fact that he left me not even a week ago. I put on my happy face so that he would hopefully get the cue to leave as soon as he could. "Fine, thanks. It was a lovely evening."

He looked at me skeptically while he saw completely through my façade. "Well, everything went fine here. Gracie is so smart and beautiful. You really have raised her well, Bella."

"Thank you," I said while taking off my coat and slipping off my heels into my hands. "I'm glad everything was okay."

"Listen, I really wanted to talk to you about seeing Gracie on a more regular schedule. I know that it's just been you and her for a long time, and I'm not trying to take her away from you or anything, but I just really missed her when I didn't see her. I really want to get to know her better and have some time with my daughter."

I thought about this for a few moments. I knew that Edward didn't mean he wanted to do a big custody battle, but if it came down to it, he would. He seemed to be as fiercely involved with our daughter as I was, and just as in love. I didn't see the harm in her having more time with her father. "Tell you what, how about I talk to Grace and if she is okay with it, we will make a schedule. I know you want to see her more and you have no idea how happy that makes me that you want to be in her life. I will tell you right now Edward; I will never give her up. I will not let her stay days at a time without me and I will not have her being a fixture in your house when other women are present. Gracie does not meet my boyfriends and she won't meet your girlfriends. She is a lot of responsibility and I have to know you're dedicated with our child. Grace is our daughter, not our toy."

"It's not like that and you know it. I know that we both have rules, and yours don't seem logical. That's fine. I won't take her away from you, Bella. You don't have to worry about that. All I want is some time to know our daughter."

"That's fine. I'll talk to her, and if she approves, then we will organize something."

"Thank-you." He started to walk towards the front door before he turned back to me. "Oh yeah, she's upstairs waiting for you. She refused to go to sleep until I told her a story, but when I tried she told me I wasn't doing it right."

I laughed at my daughters stubbornness, a personality quirk she got from me. "I'll deal with it, thanks again Edward."

"You don't have to thank me for taking care of our daughter, Bella. It was my pleasure and my responsibility as a father."

I smiled softly at him before I ran up the stairs to see my daughter. Gracie was sitting patiently in her bedroom, stroking Bailey's head and trying hard not to fall asleep. I could see her little eyelids falling before they were alerted to my presence.

"Hi, Mommy. I missed you," she said sleepily.

I went over to her bed and put my shoes on the floor beside it. I sat beside her and cuddled in like I did every night while I smoothed out her bronze locks. "I missed you too, baby. I heard that someone wanted to hear a story?"

She nodded. "Daddy doesn't do it right."

"I'll have to teach him then. Where were we last night, Gracie?"

"You walked into the party at your smamority," Grace said while she slurred her words from tiredness. I knew she wouldn't get through very much of the story tonight before she fell asleep. It was way past her bedtime.

"Okay, so I walked into the spring mixer at the Beta – Nu sorority during my junior year at the University of Washington, and that's where I met him."

_I was so excited for this event that I had helped plan. It was the first time that my degree was actually getting put into use even if it was only for a spring mixer. We did a black and white theme with the other sororities and fraternities to get the year going. It was always popular and it seemed that everyone in the University went. _

_I passed by Alice and Rosalie on my way to the bar as they made howling and whopping noises at my dress. Alice had designed and made it by herself for this event specifically. It was so good to know that I would never be caught wearing the same dress as another girl and that it was completely original. Alice will for sure be some kind of fashion designer. She was just to good not to be._

_I sat on the barstool and ordered a gin martini dirty with olives and waited patiently for my drink. This was one of the classier events rather than one of the stupid frat parties that were thrown every weekend. This was an event where you got to show how much money your family had to back you and where the genetics and proper grooming came into play. The men were dressed in tuxes with white shirts underneath and bowties while the girls wore black or white floor length gowns. We had even hired a string orchestra to be the music for the evening._

_I let myself check my phone just this one time. Mike Newton was supposed to call me that night. He wasn't part of any of the sororities or fraternities so he wasn't invited but he was hoping to catch a bite to eat afterwards. He had been interested in me since high school and college was slim pickings for nice guys. I checked my phone every hour, while never being able to get the guts up to actually call him._

"_Nice Ass." I heard from behind me with a grope to my half seated tush. I was appalled and about to throw my fresh drink at the guy behind me when I saw the most intense pair of eyes looking straight through me. Well, that's what it felt like._

_I snapped at my momentary fumble with a quick comeback. "Where do you get off just groping girls, asshole? Did you learn that in etiquette 101 while your parents were polishing the silver spoons you seem to have shoved up your ass?"_

_That seemed to catch him off guard while I took a second to appreciate his body in a tuxedo. He was slim, but firmed in all the right places and slightly muscular. He seemed like he had tried to tame his hair but the comb lost the war. His hair was disheveled and popped in every direction. What colour was that? Bronze, maybe. It was so unique and interesting. Not to mention the fact that you could cut glass off that jaw line. Mmm. _

"_I'm so sorry. Please forgive me. My brother Emmett was here a second ago and told me to come up and talk to you. He did the fondling not me."_

"_Are you trying to tell me that you don't like my ass? I don't know what's more offensive, trying to feel me up in the middle of a classy party or saying that you don't want to." I turned back around to sip my drink and try to break the obvious electricity in the air._

_He tapped my shoulder and I turned around to face him again with a drink in my hand and a smile on my face. I loved messing with this guy. He was way too easy. I hoped it was that way in both senses. "Can we start again? I'm Edward Cullen," he said while bringing his hand out to shake with mine._

_I took it and felt the spark shoot up my arm and the heat spread within my body. It was confusing, but addicting. "I'm Bella Swan. Nice to meet you Assward."_

We spent the rest of the night laughing and playing around before we bid each other goodnight and exchanged numbers. He called the next day, and the rest was history." I cleaned up the language of course, but the story was still the same. It served its purpose while I took in my daughter's peaceful form.

I got up slowly from the bed while carefully tucking her in as not to disturb her. I smacked my leg softly, calling to Bailey to follow me into my room. I turned off the light by the doorway in her bedroom and made sure the nightlight was on for her.

"Gracie, promise me you'll always watch out for yourself." I whispered from her doorway, more for myself then for her. "I fell hard for your father, and look where it got me. You are the best thing that will ever happen to me, but it doesn't always bring such incredible gifts. I will always love your father, but sometimes it's just not enough. Be careful with your heart, my love."

Just as I was walking down the hallway to my own bedroom, I heard the front door slam from downstairs signaling Edward's departure in more ways than one.

* * *

**Disclaimer: S. Meyer owns all things twilight. I own a new beta'ing job for LittleMissInnocence and a throat and sinus infection. This story is DevonAshleigh's! No plagiarism or copying unless there is written permission to say otherwise. Copyright 2010.**

**A/N: **SORRY! I had a schedule for every Sunday to update or Monday at the latest but my damn sickness got in the way of that. I think this chapter is good, but what the hell do I know. My head feels like it's going to implode so blame it for all the errors.

I won't be around this weekend, so I'll try to get another update in by next Sunday and then hopefully keep the original schedule.

I just became the beta for LittleMissInnocence's story The American Dream! I'm so pumped! Check it out, you'll love it. Also, if you love her, which I already do and you should too, then check out her other story Just One Night. Gotta love Daddyward and an adorable baby boy with all the familiar fam jam.

I also am in great need of a beta!! PLEASSEEE! If you're interested please pm me I realllllly would appreciate it. Kisses and hugs and so forth. Someone has to keep me in line!

Until next week my dears. Stay happy and healthy and keep reading!

Reviews are better than Edward groping your ass. Well, not really.


	8. Chapter 7 Kill

**Before the Worst  
****Chapter 7 – Kill**

_You kill me you've got some nerve but can't face your mistakes,_

_hey hey, hey hey_

_I know what I should do but I just can't turn away_

_So go on love_

_Leave while there's still hope for escape_

_Gotta take what you can these days_

_There's so much ahead and so much regret_

_I know what you wanna say (I know what you wanna say)_

_I know it but can't help feeling differently_

_I loved you and I shoulda said it but tell me just what has it ever meant_

This was karma. I'm sure of it. Karma was biting me in the ass because of all those women I treated like garbage. I knew I should have listened to my mother.

I finally got the courage to tell Bella that I was still in love with her and Alice tells me she is with someone else. I recover from that low blow and actually see Bella, only to learn I have a daughter I never knew about. I stupidly slept with Bella, hoping to convey all my emotions and she tells me she doesn't want me. I get the chance to spend time with my daughter, and Bella tells her to be careful because of what happened to her. This was seriously beginning to get insane.

I left Bella's house completely distressed. I had spent the entire evening with my incredibly smart and bright daughter while my ex-girlfriend was on a date. She was on a date, with another man while I was watching our daughter. That was just the beginning of fucked up. She was on a date with another man, while I was at home, watching our daughter, and being completely in love with her. It was like I was a masochist trying to be with her while she pushes me away. Every time she pushed, I pushed back and loved her more for it. She could kick my ass and I would be standing there, wounded, saying "Please, more honey." It was a little pathetic.

I had wasted so much time being away from her. I was sick of it. I didn't want to spend any more time apart from her and my daughter. She already had me wrapped around her finger. I wanted to move into this house and out of my lonely apartment. I wanted to be here in the place that Bella saw us spend our lives together in. It smelled like her and every wall radiated with her warmth.

_You are such a pussy._

I wanted the whole vision with her. I wanted to wake up next to Bella and have her kiss me as she left for work. I would wake up with our daughter and bring her to school before I left myself. I wanted to tuck Gracie in every night and tell more of the stories from my perspective and see Bella full with my child again. I wanted to experience everything with her and be there for her like I should have been the first time.

All I needed was to show her.

I had to make her trust me and make sure she knew I was never going to leave her side again. I wanted her to be Mrs. Cullen and watch her become old and gray along with me. Instead, Bella was on dates with other men while I watched her find love, in the background, without me. This had to stop and I couldn't do it by myself. I had to call the one person who knew Bella better than me or even herself.

I sat in my pristine apartment and let the sterilized feel soak into my skin. It was awful and not the least bit comforting. I poured myself two fingers worth of scotch and sat into the leather recliner. It was the only piece of furniture I kept since college that Alice would let me carry around from house to house. It was the recliner Bella and I used to sit on and end up talking all night about everything.

_Has someone traded their penis in for a brand new vagina? I think so._

I picked up the phone and called the only person I could.

"Edward, my children are asleep and my shirt is off. This better be good."

"That is way more information than I needed to know. Thanks for that." I sipped the scotch while smirking to myself.

"Gee, this was fun. Let's do it another time." I could tell that she was about two seconds from hanging up. I couldn't let her do that.

"Rosalie, I need your help."

"Finally! I'm glad you came to your senses man. Although, I was silently hoping to have to kick your ass to make it happen." She sighed loudly. "Oh well, you're bound to fuck up again."

"Thanks for the encouragement, whore. Let's get down to business. I need Bella back. Let's make it happen."

"Whoa, cowboy. You have a lot of explaining to do with me, let alone Bella. One thing at a time, Edward." I could just imagine Rosalie filing her nails with that bored expression she always had on. I didn't have time for that shit.

"What do you want to know, Rose?" I asked while getting up to pour more scotch. "I fucked up all those years ago. I left her and I shouldn't have and I regret it. I wanted to make things right as

soon as I got back to Seattle. Actually, I wanted to make them right way before I moved back, but I couldn't. Now she's dating other people! I need help, I need her!"

"Okay, Edward, calm down. I'm trying here. I need you to tell me what happened after you slept with her. Why did you just leave like that?" Rosalie asked in a concerned tone. This wasn't very becoming of the bitch I knew and loved so dearly. Motherhood had made her soft.

"Leave like what? I had to go to work. I told her that in the note…"

"Wait! What note," she interrupted.

"The note I left on the table. I told her I had to leave for work and that to call me when she woke up. I told her I loved her and that I would see her at the event. I missed her and I made a mistake all those years ago. That's what it said, basically."

I did not expect the reaction I got from Rosalie. I was confused why she was asking about the note to begin with. I assumed Bella would have told her, but then again, I was confused why Bella was angry with me in the first place. I thought maybe it was harder to forgive than she thought, not that she was going to rip my head off and avoid me.

However, Rosalie thought it was the funniest thing since Chris Rock. She laughed for a good five minutes trying to sputter out some kind of sentence. I impatiently waited on the other end, until she got herself together. "Are you done?"

She tried to control her breathing and straighten herself out before responding. "Yes, sorry. That was just the funniest thing I've heard since Alice tried to convince me that a plastic bag and duct tape was just the same as a condom."

"I'm glad for you. Would you care to share why that was so funny?" I asked while sitting back down in the recliner.

"She never got the note, Edward! Don't you see what this means? The minute she finds it, I'm going to make sure I'm there. Bella will be so embarrassed! It will be the best thing since sliced bread! Her face is going to go all splotchy and red –"

"ROSALIE! What do you mean she never got it?"

Rosalie huffed straight into the phone causing a really annoying static noise sent directly to my ears. "She never got the note, Edward. It wasn't there on the table when you left. She thought you left without saying goodbye to her just like you did all those years ago."

My heart stopped. Okay, well it didn't stop permanently, but it stopped for a good minute. No wonder why she was so angry with me and so hurt. It all made sense now. She thought I was leaving her again, and this time it would mean me leaving my daughter too. I felt sick. The bile was rising up in my throat and I put my cell phone down hastily before I threw up right in the ensuites bathroom. I took a few seconds to calm myself before I got up and rinsed my mouth out with mouthwash. I walked back into the living room and picked up the phone again. "Rose?"

"I'm still here."

"I have to go back over there and tell Bella about the note. I need to make sure she knows I still love her and want her."

"Stop, Edward. I'll do it. I'll make sure everything is heard. I don't think Bella wants to see you, but she will want to see me. I'll deal with it. Goodnight."

"Night," I said to an empty phone line. I don't know what happened at the end there, but something definitely changed with Rosalie. Maybe it was me not so graciously puking my guts out or something clicked in her head. I hoped she could do all she told me she would.

**BPOV**

The sun was shining brightly the next morning. I, however, had no desire to ever get out of bed. It was almost noon and Carlisle had already picked up Grace to take her on some grandpa bonding time that they had weekly. I felt bad that I was hardly spending any time with her. Between work, dates, and events, I never had any time. I vowed to make sure I spent some much needed alone time with my daughter this week. It was something we both needed.

I rolled over in the king sized bed until I found the perfect spot to plant my body for another twenty minutes at least. I had nowhere to be and this was the first Sunday I had off from an event in a long time. I was going to enjoy it thoroughly by being disgustingly lazy.

Just as I closed my eyes, I felt a sharp sting on my uncovered thigh. "OW! Fuck that hurt!"

"You're still in bed, you lazy bitch?" Rosalie's voice shrieked from right beside my ear. A small smile played on my lips at my best friend's intrusion. I pulled the covers off my head to see Rosalie beautifully dressed in a sweetheart style, red dress. It was form fitting and clearly designer. Rosalie would look beautiful in a potato sack with clown makeup on.

"How did you get in here? Have you taken up some lock picking class that's all the rage with the celebrities?"

"Silly, Bella!" Rosalie laughed. A very overly exaggerated laugh, I might add. "I still have the key you gave to me last month to take care of Bailey."

I sat up straight and rubbed my hands over my face. I had slept for over 10 hours, but it felt like minutes. "Okay, that explains **how** you're here, but the why is what I really want to know. Not that this torture session isn't pleasant or anything."

She held a piece of lined paper in her hands and fiddled with it for a few minutes. Rosalie held an uncomfortable look on her face that I was not used to seeing before she put the piece of paper into her pocket.

"What's that, Rose?"

She tried to look indifferent, but I finally recognized the emotion as guilt. "It's nothing, Bells. Just a piece of scrap paper I found on the ground. I thought I'd just throw it in the trash for you. Just garbage, you know? I hate garbage, it's so dirty. You really should take better care of this house. You spent so much money on it to let it go –"

I stood up quickly and grabbed the paper from her pocket. Rosalie's eyes went wide when she realized mid-rant, that I had the paper now. She was obviously trying to keep it away for a reason.

Rosalie then did the most unexpected thing. She dove right at me, head on. She was freakishly strong and I tried to extract myself from her grasp. I wiggled underneath her, keeping the hand with the piece of paper as far away from her as I could. She tried to grab my arm down further towards her so she could get the paper. I'm sure this fight looked like the greatest kind of girl-on-girl possible; Rosalie in a dress and me in my glasses with bunny pajamas. Hot.

"ROSALIE! WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU? WHAT IS THIS SHIT?" I screamed in her face while I made my great escape. I sprinted to the bathroom and locked the door behind me. She was seconds away, banging on it from the other side.

"BELLA! It's scrap paper! It's nothing! Come out of there and give it over."

"Fuck that, Rose! You've never picked up a piece of garbage in your life. YOU HAVE A FUCKING MAID!" I slid against the wooden door, feeling the vibrations of Rosalie's pounding hands on my back. I sat down against the tile and opened the thoroughly crumpled paper. It was a note from Edward.

_Bella,_

_I'm so sorry I had to leave you this morning to go to work. I was watching your peaceful form sleeping and I couldn't help but to admire you. I was so wrong when I left you. I will never be able to say 'I'm sorry' enough. It will never make up for what I did to you and our daughter._

_I want you to know that I missed you every day. I came back for you a few years ago, but I understand that you were moving on with your life and sharing it with someone else. I hope that still isn't the case. _

_I loved Gracie from the moment I saw her. She is already everything to me. I want us to be a family. I never stopped loving you, Bella. You still mean the world to me and will every day of my life._

_I love you, my angel. Call me today if you have time. I can't wait to see you tonight. Save a dance for me, baby._

_Love Always, _

_Edward_

_PS__- Make sure to tell Gracie her __Daddy__ loves her. She already owns me completely. _

I walked out of the room silently with tears in my eyes and punched Rosalie straight in the face.

* * *

**Disclaimer: **S. Meyer owns all things twilight. I own a half pack of tissues and an already ruined weekend at the cottage due to this flesh eating disease I now carry. This story is Devon Ashleigh's! No copying or plagiarism is allowed unless specifically consented by me to do so.

**A/N: **Here we go, kids! Merry Christmas in May! My work decided to call me today after I already told them that I wouldn't be into workto ask me where I was. The characters took that opportunity to rob me of my dignity and my sleep, in order to get me to write. Apparently, I'm being punished for updating so late before. Oh well, I'll just kill someone off. That'll teach 'em.

Many thanks to my new beta, LittleMissInnocence. We have become an old married couple who beta for each other. The love is sickening, really. I am also pimping her and her stories out. Check out The American Dream, which I will begin to beta for and Just One Night which has owned me for quite some time. I am going to be making a lot of metaphorical money keeping my pimp hand strong with this one.

Enjoy the fruits of my labour and always remember to read and review! I am a sucker for my reviewers and a shit author for answering. It's mostly a take relationship rather than a giving one.

Reviews are better than my epic a/n, that's for sure. Not better than punching Rosalie in the face though. That's really hard to beat.


	9. Chapter 8 Vulnerable

**Before the Worst  
****Chapter 8 – Vulnerable**

_And your slowly shaking finger tips_

_Show that your scared like me so_

_Lets pretend were alone_

_And I know you may be scared_

_And I know we're unprepared_

_But I don't care_

_Tell me tell me_

_What makes you think that you are invincible_

_I can see it in your eyes that you're so sure_

_Please don't tell me that I am the only one that's vulnerable_

_Impossible_

_I was born to tell you I love you_

_Isn't that a song already_

_I get a B in originality_

_And it's true I cant go on without you_

_Your smile makes me see clear_

_If you could only see in the mirror what I see_

_Slow down girl you're not going anywhere_

_Just wait around and see_

_Maybe I'm much more you never no what lies ahead_

_I promise I can be anyone I can be anything_

_Just because you were hurt doesn't mean you shouldn't bleed_

_I can be anyone, anything, I promise I can be what you need_

Yeah, that's definitely going to leave a bruise.

I walked calmly away from Rose while she was still clutching her face. _Serves her right, cow. _I took off towards the stairs, still in my fuzzy slippers and bunny pajamas, and grabbed the handle for the front door.

"Lock up after you leave, Rose!" I yelled up to her. I had places to be and people to see. I would deal with her later.

I slipped my car keys into my hands from the bowl in the entry way and slammed the door behind me. I ran as fast I could against the pavement in my slippers and into the car. I was heading to one destination in particular and I only hoped the person would be home. It was a crucial fact.

I pulled into the apartment building complex, thankful that no cops pulled me over. That would have been a hell of an explanation. _'Sorry, sir. My baby daddy left me a note that my best friend tried to hide from me, so I punched her out and sped over here in my favourite bunny slippers. Feel like taking pity on a crazy woman?' _It would not go over well. I could already see the look on Emmett's face when he bailed me out of jail.

Locking the car doors, I held the business card in my hand tightly and continuously pressed the 'up' button on the elevator keypad. It always seemed to go faster when it was pressed multiple times.

I pounded on the door of apartment seven and waited impatiently for a response. Before I could put my mental filter into gear, I blurted out the first thing that came to mind. "Wow, Edward. You look like Mr. Rogers from Mr. Roger's Neighbourhood. Did you borrow that shawl from my grandma?"

He stared at me blankly before fidgeting slightly. Edward adjusted his lame sweater thing before huffing out a ragged breath. Apparently, he was waiting for a profound love statement. Did he not know me at all? "I was cold and this was the first thing I could find when you knocked. Did you come over here to make fun of me, or did you want something in particular?" He walked away and flopped his body on the love seat while covering his eyes with one arm. He was way too big for that couch, making it look like doll furniture in comparison.

I sat down uncomfortably on the recliner, letting all of the good memories come back to me. It was comforting and I found myself smiling even though he couldn't see it. I was still trying to recover from my word vomit episode from two minutes ago. He would think I was cracked up if he saw me smiling because of a chair.

Unsettling silence dawned upon us for the first time in our 'relationship', if that's what it was. I was sick of being in this limbo. I had a lot of things to say to Edward and I wanted to believe that he had changed from that boy I knew eons ago. I wanted to believe that he meant what he said in the note, but I was still broken. Even though his intentions were good, the feeling didn't disappear from when I thought he left without saying goodbye again. I had a lot of shit to deal with and a lot of questions. Was he back for good? Did he mean what he said? Were we meant to be together? Did I forgive him for what he did to me? Did our daughter? Was he really in love with me still? Can I just jump back in after everything that has happened? Do I need to protect myself and really think hard about why I would even bother? I didn't know.

"I punched out Rosalie," I blurted. I guess my filter had yet to be put back into place.

Edward slowly lifted his hand from his eyes while I kept a skeptical expression on my face. I wasn't sure how he would react. He sat up slowly and winced slightly from the rushed motion. Was he hung-over, or just decide to join the circus? He looked like he hadn't bathed in days.

I was about to start smelling the air for signs of elephants and bearded ladies when he spoke up. "Okay," he said slowly. "I'm assuming she deserved it and I don't have to enroll you in some kind of anger management class, right?"

I nodded. "Rosalie had the note you wrote me. I guess she found it in my room and tried to hide it from me. I didn't know what it was, but it must've been pretty bad if she wouldn't show me. We did some girl-on-girl wrestling, and I won. When I saw what she was trying to hide, I got so mad that I punched her, hard."

He cleared his throat loudly and ran his hand through his hair. Typical Edward stress moment. "You saw it?" I nodded silently. "And…"

This was the moment I was dreading. I hadn't processed it yet and I probably should have waited to do that before I went to see him. I couldn't stop my reaction, though. It was like a force that was calling me to just go see him. "I thought it was sweet, Edward. It meant everything to hear you say that, but I don't know how much it really changes things. One note doesn't make up for all the time we spent apart and all the hurt I felt when you left. It can't make everything right."

He leaned forward quickly and grabbed onto my hands while moving from the love seat to rest on the coffee table. He held them tightly in his while leaning forward towards me and stroking them softly. Edward looked me straight in the eyes with the most heartbreaking expression. He obviously did think that note would change everything. "I know Bella, but I'm trying. I want to be with you and Gracie. I want the life we should have had. I am so sorry. I know that I can't say it enough times to make you forget but if I could change it all, I would without hesitation. It will always be my biggest regret," he paused. "I want to try to make a life with you."

I had wanted to hear him say those things forever. I used to dream about it when I was younger. Edward would always come to me and put his hand on our baby while he told me that he would always love me and ask me to marry him. I was not that naïve Bella anymore. I knew that while fairy tales did exist, they had to be worked on to stay alive. "Edward, think about this clearly. We have a beautiful daughter at home. What if this didn't last? Can you really break her heart?" I squeezed his hand back softly; I had to get him to understand.

He looked frustrated and above anything else, angry. It was so unusual to see him like this. I had seen him take a back seat to pretty much everything to do with us over the years, especially Gracie, but on some level he was fighting with me. He was fighting **for** me. The thought made my heart swell with joy, but left my brain screaming at me in protest. "Can you let it go because there's a chance it won't work out? Isn't that how all relationships are? You take a shot, Bella. Why won't you take a shot with me?"

Edward was making valid statements, but so was I. I needed to protect myself above everything. I had to protect the life I made for myself and for my daughter. Edward can't just stroll in after so many years and get everything that I had worked hard for, to only manipulate it for his advantage. I let him in quickly to every aspect, but what would it take to let him into my heart again? "I understand what you're saying, Edward. I really do. It's just that everything is so fucked up right now. I can't even recognize my life anymore!" I ripped my hands out of Edward's and began to pace. "I need time to think it all through. Ugh, I don't even know why I came over here right now. I just felt the pull to explain everything to you." I pulled at my hair from the roots in a violent tug, before putting my hands down to my sides. I turned to Edward and saw the pained expression on his face and actually grimaced. "I'm sorry. I wanted to let you know that I got the letter and the meaning behind it loud and clear, but I can't do this right now. I have to have some time to think this all through. One minute I thought that I was with you and the next you left, then I found the note and now you're back. It's a little much."

He got up and hugged me. It felt so good to be in Edward's arms again. I felt safe and secure and above all, protected. I was sheltered with him. I never had to experience anything I didn't want to ever again. "Okay, Bells. I'll be here when you're ready." Edward pressed his lips into my hair beside my ear. He whispered so lowly, I'm not sure I heard him right. "There isn't anyone else and there never will be."

I hugged him back half-hearted and left the suffocated apartment. The ride to Alice's seemed to pass in a blur. All I felt was feelings; hurt, anger, betrayal, love, devotion, hope, fear, guilt. Above all, I just wanted to forget everything and run back into the arms of a man I was afraid to love. I never thought I would be so afraid to give everything to Edward. It terrified me.

I pulled into the driveway of the familiar home and ran up to great the only constant people in my life, ones whom I used to trust explicitly. Alice was still a maybe in my mind, but Rosalie was crossed off for sure. Jasper and Emmett could have been involved in the whole deception, but I couldn't just go around accusing. I needed to know what the fuck went on there and why they did what they did. Today was as good a day as any.

I knocked on the door, wishing that I had gone home first to change. _Alice has seen me in way worse._ Jasper answered the door, fully dressed with his painting clothes on. Alice insisted that Jasper wear a specific outfit for painting the house and making repairs. Obviously, this outfit would never see the light of day in any other circumstance than those activities. "Hey, sugar. Always a pleasure," he said while kissing me softly on the cheek. "I was just working, but Alice is in the library if you wanted to see her."

I smiled devilishly, "I think I would. Thanks, Jasper."

He pulled aside and motioned me into the house. I heard the click of the door behind me before Jasper was gone. I ran up the steps to the room I spent most of my time in while I was pregnant with Gracie. Alice was sitting in an extremely small chair for her larger frame, making her look strangely oversized. Her legs were over an arm of the chair as her body sat in a vertical direction. She held the leather-bound book on her bump while she read quietly.

"Alice." She jumped slightly before cracking her book closed and flipping the proper way in the chair.

"Bells! What are you doing here? Did we have a lunch date or something? I keep forgetting everything…what the hell are you wearing?" Alice looked intently at me like I had all the answers, when in reality, I hoped she did.

"We need to talk, Mary Alice." I tried to convey to her that I meant business. Alice looked to get the picture while she put her book down on the small coffee table. She patted the seat next to her, motioning me to sit down. I took it gingerly, and gathered my thoughts while she waited for me to speak. "How long have we been friends?"

She looked confused before responding, "Since right before you and Edward met. So what, 6 or 7 years?"

"In all that time, I have learned to trust you, Ali." I looked down at my hands, afraid to hear the next answer. "What kind of fuckery are you planning with Rosalie?"

"What do you mean? I'm not planning anything with Rose."

"So, you are telling me you had nothing to do with the letter Rose tried to hide from me this morning?" I looked her in the eyes, willing her to tell me the truth. I wanted to see no guilt on her face.

"What letter?"

"The letter from Edward. He wrote it to explain his absence after he slept with me. He told me what he intended with our relationship. Rosalie found it and she tried to play it off like it was scrap paper. Did you have anything to do with that?"

Alice looked down at her hands and rubbed her belly softly. I knew in that moment, she was seeking comfort. She was seeking comfort for the guilt that she felt. I spoke before she had the chance to defend herself. "What did you do, Alice?"

Alice sighed heavily before looking up at me. She had a broken expression on her that I wished I could get rid of. I hated seeing Alice in any pain, but this time she caused it to me. "I don't know anything about the letter Rosalie was hiding, but I do know why she would do something like that. Bella, I won't tell you unless you promise not to be mad at me."

"What the fuck, Alice? What is this, second grade? I'm not pinky promising you shit! This is my life! You meddled in it, so 'fess up."

"I'm not trying to act immaturely about this; I just don't want to lose you. You mean so much to me and I know if I tell you, you're going to be pissed." The tears started falling freely and I reached out to touch her hand, despite my anger. I didn't want to see her hurting, and I knew this was going to be big. Touching her hand could have been the last thing that I would have done in our friendship for a long time. I just hoped none of this shit was true.

"Tell me, Alice," I commanded.

"After Gracie was born, Edward came back to see you."

"No he didn't, he never contacted me after he left," I spoke softly. It still hurt to think about.

"He did. Edward came back last year when we were having Gracie's birthday party. He wanted to see you and I couldn't let him do it. It finally seemed as if you got your shit together and that you were becoming an amazing mother without him! He was drunk, Bella. Edward would have made a fool of himself." I tried to interrupt her but she silenced me. "I did it because I thought it was the best thing for you. It was time for you to move on and truly recover from him. You didn't see yourself when he left you, but Rosalie and I did! We were the ones who had to pick up the pieces."

I stood up suddenly, yanking my hands out of hers. She winced like I burned her and I felt guilty. I would have apologized had I not been so incredibly disappointed. I stood up, towering over her and looked down onto her figure. "So what did you tell him, Alice? That I was fucking around? That I moved? WHAT DID YOU TELL HIM?"

"I TOLD HIM WHAT I NEEDED TO! As your best friend, I did what I had to do to make sure you weren't hurt. I told him you were seeing someone else and that it was too late. You'll thank me for it eventually!"

"YOU LIED TO YOUR OWN BROTHER? You told him I was seeing someone else! NO WONDER HE RAN SCARED! He probably thought I spent the night with him and that some angry man was coming home to me! Alice, how could you do that? I wanted to see him! What about Gracie? Don't you think she would have wanted a chance to be with both her parents? Had I known that he had come back for me; things might have been a lot different! We may have been together right now!"

"You are going to go back to him after everything he did to you? After everything **I** did **for** you? How could you be so stupid? I love Edward, Bella. He's my brother, but I know what he was like in Chicago! He used women, and slept around. Edward made them feel like garbage, and left them just like he did to you. Don't think he won't do it again! I won't be there to pick up the pieces next time. I tried to protect you, Bella!"

"I. Don't. Need. You. To. Protect. Me. I am not a child, Alice. I have my own child! I appreciate everything you've done for me. Lord knows I wouldn't be where I was today if it wasn't for you and Rose, but the fact that you're hiding things and telling lies so that I won't be with the father of my child, is wrong. It's horrible, Alice! This is our lives. You need to stay out of it."

I got up and slammed the door in Alice's face before she had the chance to say anything else. I had had enough of this bullshit. I couldn't believe what my best friends were doing. It was the ultimate form of betrayal. They were essentially feeding lies and hiding whatever evidence they could find so that I wouldn't get hurt by being with Edward again.

I didn't know what kind of damage they had done or if I could ever repair it, but it brought forth a whole other problem. Edward had wanted me all that time, and still does. He still loves me and wants to be with me. He never left me a second time and Rosalie and Alice had meddled with our relationship to still have him standing beside me, all in. Was I going to fold and be with him, or was I going to pull the Ace out of my sleeve and cut my losses?

They say all is fair in love and war, but they obviously didn't account for Alice or Rosalie.

* * *

**Disclaimer: S. Meyer owns all things twilight. I own an iPod touch and an iPhone. Why both? I'm a greedy whore. This story is property of DevonAshleigh along with the idea. No copying or plagarizm will be tolerated without explicit written permission from me. **

**A/N:**Okay, everyone. I think I might have some sort of magical fairy shit going on because I totally gave you three chapters in a week. It's miraculous! They will be telling the tale at all of the fanfic events, making authors feel bad. Or they'll make them feel lucky they actually have a life, where as I kind of don't at the moment.

I hope you enjoy the chapter! Let's keep up with the pimping of my beautiful and equally magical beta, LittleMissInnocence. She is epic in every sense. Seriously, who could deal with my kind of ambition? Her fics Just One Night and The American Dream are amazing. If you don't check them out then you're wrong at life. I will call you 'fail' for the rest of my fanfic days.

Also, a shout out to all those people who have reviewed from the very beginning. You have NO IDEA how much that means to me. It's the best feeling in the world knowing that people are reading all your hard work. I haven't forgotten about you. A special call out to aciepey! I don't know if you read my story or not, but you make my twitter life that much more interesting! I love your Spikeward. He warms my heart :)

Now let me shut up with my long ass a/n and get to the real reason we're all here. Reviewing. You know you want to. Let's get ourselves up to 130! Comeeee onnnn. Just one click! All it takes is a little 'I loved it' or 'It was shit'. Preferably the love, I'm a little sensitive. When you're done that go check out Gynazole by . Made me almost suffocate and pee my pants at the same time. Not an easy feat! Click the button!


	10. Chapter 9 I Never Told You

**Before the Worst  
****Chapter 9 – I Never Told You**

_I miss those blue eyes_

_how you kiss me at night_

_I miss the way we sleep_

_like there's no sunrise_

_like the taste of your smile_

_I miss the way we breathe_

_but I never told you what I should had said_

_no I never told you, I just held it in_

_and now, I miss everything about you_

_**I can't believe that I still want you**_

_**after all the things we've been through**_

_I miss everything about you, without you ohhhh_

I huffed down the stairs and out of Alice's house with a final slam of the front door. I was finished with this emotional bullshit. I believe I had been through enough of it in the last few weeks and it was beginning to put a dampening on my free time. What happened to the boring and mundane life I had become so accustomed to? The most exciting thing in that life was picking up the groceries.

I took a few breaths before getting into the car to pick up Gracie. She was usually finished with her grandpa bonding time by about three, so it was perfect timing. After loading her in and saying goodbye to Edward's parents, we headed home to spend some much needed mother-daughter bonding time.

When we got in the door, I let Bailey out and then unloaded all of Gracie's belongings back into her room in the appropriate spots. With nothing to do and still a few hours until dinner, we did something we hadn't done in a very long time. We were standing side by side, unloading her stuff when she suggested it. It was something I really needed. My daughter knew me better than anyone else, even Edward.

Gracie looked over at me and evaluated me with her eyes. "Mommy, you look sad."

I let out a deep breath and put a fake smile on my face. "No baby, I'm just really tired," I lied.

"I know!" she said while running over to the stereo. Gracie got excited and let out a small squeal before pressing the CD button. She was ridiculously clever and right then, I knew she was going to be a handful.

I smiled to myself, knowing exactly what she was doing. "Such a smart girl." I laughed while picking her small frame up and spinning her around. The music began to blare on the radio. It had been so long since I had danced something out. My mother used to do the same things with me when I was younger and she was upset. It was easy to forget everything when you danced out all your pain and anger.

_All I can say is that my life is pretty plain_

_I like watchin' the puddles gather rain_

_And all I can do is just pour some tea for two_

_and speak my point of view_

_But it's not sane, It's not sane_

Gracie and I instantly danced around each other in the most playful manner. She wiggled her little hips and fingers around like her life depended on it, while I jumped around and awed at the sight of my daughter. It left a heavy feeling in my heart with Edward not being able to join us, but this was about me and Gracie.

_I just want someone to say to me, (oh oh oh oh)_

_I'll always be there when you wake_

_You know I'd like to keep my cheeks dry today_

_So stay with me and I'll have it made_

I grabbed her little hands and spun her around and into my arms in one swift motion. Gracie giggled loudly at my silliness while I twisted and twirled us together until the song faded out. Our sweaty bodies fell onto the hardwood floor in a tangle of limbs and euphoria. The wood cooled us down while we caught out breath.

"Thank you, baby. I needed that," I huffed out. I leaned over onto my side and pushed the hair out of Gracie's face.

"I don't like to see you sad, Mommy," she whispered softly. I felt my heart break for her. I guess I hadn't been hiding it as well as I would have liked to. I looked into her face and saw the light of Edward's shining through. It used to make me ache in sadness, but I only felt joy now. I wasn't sure what that meant.

I remembered what I was going to talk to her about before the dancing began. "Gracie, baby. How would you like to spend more time with your daddy?"

A smile crept upon her face at the thought of her new found father. It was obvious she had taken a liking to him. She turned to me with that crooked grin that Edward sported so often. "Yes, please. I really like Daddy. He takes me to the park and we eat dinner together. He's nice."

I smiled in response to hers. It was infectious. "Should I ask him if he's free next weekend? Maybe we will all go to the zoo?"

Gracie jumped up and startled me with her excitement. "YES! I love the animals and I'll tell them all about my new Daddy. I'll take him to the elementpants and the geerafs and –"

I chuckled once loudly at her. "Okay, baby! Slow down. I'll call him and ask him if he's free." I laid my head back down on the tile and closed my eyes. It was the first time that I had been able to take a break and truly breathe. I felt awful knowing that I couldn't take Alice or Rosalie and all the kids along with us. They would have enjoyed this so much. It also meant that Edward would ask me why I didn't invite them. I didn't know how he would react at his family and their ability to crush our relationship before it even truly started. I couldn't help but think that if this never happened, things might have been different. That was a toxic way of thinking, and I couldn't change anything now. I only hope that someday we would be able to repair the damage along with my relationships with Rosalie and Alice. I was dreading telling Edward, but I couldn't keep this from him.

During the next week, I found myself working at home a lot more. That meant more time away from Alice and Rosalie and less time getting any work done with Gracie at home with me. Those were the moments when I couldn't help but hate whoever decided when I had to give birth. They gave me a baby with a late birthday, which meant later for kindergarten and later for peace and quiet. It was hard to focus when all I heard was 'Mommy, come play with me!' and 'Mommy, I'm hungry.' It was Thursday and I was so close to pulling out my hair, that I did the only thing I could do. I called Edward.

"Your daughter is driving me absolutely crazy."

He chuckled softly at the lack of polite greeting. "Well, hello to you too, Bella. Isn't this a pleasant surprise?"

I huffed in annoyance. "Yeah, yeah. Let's get back to the topic at hand, your daughter and my sanity." I put my finger in my ear to drown out the loud chatter in the background. You would think that I would have a circus running in my house, but I only had one daughter. Who knew she could make so much noise?

"Is that her in the background?" he yelled. "Why is she screaming?"

"Oh, that? It's her rendition of Prince's Purple Rain."

"Isabella, why is our daughter singing Purple Rain…"

"Because she's a freak. Listen Edward, I have a shit load of work to do and I can't do it with her screaming like a lunatic. Can you please take her for a few hours, just until I finish some of this?" I sighed while I shook out the papers that were strung out on the dining room table, half coloured in crayon and spilt juice.

"Of course, Bella! It's not a problem." I could hear his smile through his words at the prospect of taking his daughter. Edward had taken care of her a couple of times now when I needed to go out and run errands. He was always so excited for him to be a part of his daughter's life. I knew that it killed him when he had to give her back. The light in his eyes dimmed and the ever present pout came out in full force.

I looked up to the ceiling and mouthed a silent prayer. "Thank you, Edward. You don't know how much this means to me." I put my hand over the receiver and yelled to Grace that her dad was coming to pick her up. She squealed loudly and I put my hand back to my side. "Did you hear that? You're her new favourite Daddy you know."

He laughed loudly before responding. "I am so fortunate," he teased. "Now I get to hear Purple Rain for the rest of the afternoon on my day off." Edward was silent for a moment. "Who the hell taught her that?"

I laughed back. "I know, right! I don't think Prince sang it as much as she does." I sighed in contentment at our playful banter. "I'll bring her over right away." It was nice to be able to share Grace with him like this. He was already an amazing father, but I never doubted that. He would always be there for her from the first moment he saw her. There was no hesitation that he would give his life for her.

It was comforting to not have to talk about our relationship either. I loved Edward, I knew I did. I just had trouble getting over the trust issue. What kind of relationship would we be able to have if I thought he was just going to leave me again? Edward tried to convince me through his words that he would never do it again. He told me endlessly when he took care of Gracie that he would never be that stupid; that I was his life. He told me that if I didn't believe that he wouldn't leave me, he told me he definitely wouldn't leave his daughter. Gracie was his little princess and he just wanted to have his family put back together again. Edward wanted a family with a wife, daughter and more children over the years. Could I do that? I used to think I could.

I snapped myself out of my daze and thanked him profusely before hanging up.

**EPOV**

I smiled clicking the phone off. I was so excited to see my daughter again, even if it had only been a few days since I had seen her last. She really was my world. I never knew how happy fatherhood would make me until now.

In the past I had always thought about what children would be like for me and how I would have to change as a person. I was so stuck in my ways when I was in Chicago that a child would have been disastrous. I cringed at the thought of having a child with one of those random women. It pained me to think about how I had treated them.

_Everything happens for a reason._

If I hadn't gone through all of that, I would have never realized how much Bella would have meant to me. I wouldn't have come back looking for her and I wouldn't have met my daughter. She was the love of my life and I don't think that anyone could replace or come close to how I feel for Bella, except my daughter, of course.

It was just going to take some time. I would court her and continue with the letters that I had been writing her and the flowers I was sending. I wasn't trying to buy her, that wasn't my intention. I just wanted her to know that I was thinking about her. I always thought about Bella. I needed to show her that I wasn't giving up and I wasn't going to give in. We belonged together and sooner or later she would see that. I would wait, and continue what I was doing; being there for my daughter and the love of my life.

I sat up from the couch and flicked the television off. It was a surprisingly warm Thursday and from the moment I got up, something felt a little off. I put it to being a random day that I usually had to work, but instead, got off. It seemed to be a relatively quiet down in the emergency room at the hospital. They didn't need me and for that I was grateful. It worked out that I get to spend my afternoon spending time with one of my favourite girls.

I poured the half empty glass of wine down the drain and filled up an empty cup with water. It had been about a half an hour since I had gotten off the phone with Bella and she must have been running late. I was stupid not to offer to pick up Gracie. She was obviously stressed out, and I felt guilty knowing that I could have helped. I was so distracted with a phone call and her melodic voice, that I had forgotten all my manners. _What would your mother think now, Cullen?_ I chuckled at the thought and relished in the silence of my apartment. It wouldn't be like that when a certain small girl found her way in.

I paced around for a little bit, boredom seeping in, while I awaited their arrival. I looked at the clock. _2:36pm_. I walked around the kitchen and into the bedroom where I folded a few shirts that I had finished with the laundry and put in a new load. As I poured the detergent in, I glanced at the clock again. _2:49pm. _It seemed like a long time for someone to drive only 10 or 12 long blocks. Perhaps she was feeding Gracie a late lunch.

I went into the library and grabbed a book before peeking onto the bottom shelves and grabbing a children's book as well. I had picked up a few for occasions like these and I thought it would be nice to read a little to Grace this afternoon. Maybe I'll take her to the park too. I settled down on the couch and opened the first page of my book while skimming the lines. I wasn't really absorbing anything and I found myself reading one line ten times before grasping the concept. I looked at the clock once more. _3:04pm._

Just as I began to read again, slightly annoyed at the tardiness, I heard my cell phone ring sharply. I rushed to it for something to pass the time.

"Hello?" I breathed, panting slightly from the run.

"Edward," a male voice spoke slowly on the other end. Emmett. "Don't panic." Obviously, when someone says 'Don't panic' the first thing the other person does is panic. Something must really be wrong. I immediately thought of Bella.

"What is it, Emmett? Is everything alright? Is it Grace or Bella?" I closed my eyes willing the next words to be something about a practical joke as my brain began to cloud over in anticipation.

"It's Bella. She got into an accident coming to your house with Gracie." I felt my knees began to shake as all the air rushed out of my lungs in a loud huff. I slowly steadied myself on the side of the recliner that Bella and I had shared so many memories on. _Please god, let her be okay. _"She was hit by a driver running through a red light. The car is utterly destroyed and Rosalie is rushing around trying to find someone to fix it. Do you have any idea how much that is going to cost?"

"Emmett," I said as my anger shook through my voice. "I don't give a flying fuck about the car. Is Bella okay? Is Grace?"

Emmett sighed. He obviously cared deeply for the girls and I felt bad yelling at him, but he needed to get to the point. My entire life was at risk. "Grace is fine. The car hit the opposite side of her and she was tied tightly into her car seat. She has a slight bump on her head, but that's about it. She is sitting here right now. She has to be watched, but she's doing great." He chuckled. "She's singing Purple Rain. It's the weirdest thing."

I breathed out a sigh of relief as half the worry eased off my shoulders. "And Bella, Emmett? Is she okay?"

Emmett cleared his throat nervously. "Bell's isn't looking good, Edward. She's got a broken arm and a few broken ribs. It was touch-and-go for awhile there. I don't know all the technical shit. They've got her stabilized and she's recovering in the room now."

I rushed off the recliner and grabbed my keys. I had to get to her. "I'm coming now, Em. Where are you guys?" He rattled off the room number as well as the floor of the hospital I was very familiar with. It was where I worked and my father had distinct privileges. Emmett told me the family was all there as I rushed into my car and sped over.

When I arrived at the hospital, everyone was sitting in the chairs of the waiting room. I ran into the room and took a seat next to my mother, trying to catch my breath. It had felt like my lungs just couldn't take any more air in as soon as I heard the news about Bella. Only few moments ago, I was discussing how we would get our entire lives to show each other how we feel about one another. Now, Bella was sitting alone in a white hospital gown and I didn't know if I was going to be able to tell her I loved her again. This just couldn't be happening.

I turned to my mother who was knitting nervously beside me. She always had to keep her hands busy when she was stressed out and now was no exception.

"How is she?" I whispered to her.

Emmett had his elbows resting on his knees as he leaned forward with his head in his hands. I saw him trying to hide his tears as he concealed a swipe of his hand across his eyes. Alice was fidgeting nervously while she rubbed her bump calmingly. Jasper looked completely blank as he stared ahead with one hand accompanying Alice on their baby. It seemed to ground them both. Rosalie and Grace were missing and my father was nowhere to be seen as I expected he was working on finding out more about Bella's condition.

My mother sighed and stopped her knitting to look blankly in front of her, avoiding my eyes. "She's okay, I suppose. Bella's a fighter, Edward. She's in better shape than she was when she got here and she's out of the woods. That's all we can hope for." I looked around at everyone again. If she was recovering, why was everyone looking like someone had ran over their dog? Shouldn't they be relieved that she was still breathing and that everything was successful? She would wake up, my mother told me so. What the hell is going on here?

My mother let out a sigh of relief and nodded once to the door, going back to her knitting as I glanced to where she had directed. My father was standing there, looking distressed, as he motioned me over to him outside in the hall. I closed the waiting room door and walked a few steps over to him, standing beside the vacant nurse's desk.

"Edward? How are you holding up, son?" Carlisle said while patting me on the back. He was wearing a small smile on his face while I heard a slight cheer from in the waiting room. I ignored it and focused back on my father, and on Bella.

"I could be better, Dad. How is she? I heard she was going to be okay?"

"She'll be fine, Edward. I was worried for awhile there, but she's doing much better. Her ribs will be sore, but they are healing and her arm is in a cast. She won't be happy about it, but she is doing much better. Bella's sleeping now, but she will be awake soon. You can go see her then."

I smiled at my father's words. I was so worried about Bella. It felt like my entire life was flashing before my eyes. I kept myself calm in the words of comfort, before my father spoke again. "Listen, son. I know you love Bella and I know that you love Grace, both more than anything in the world. In my opinion, it was wrong when you left back then, but I understand your reasoning. She made it through last time, but she will need you this time. You have to show her you care, Edward. Make her believe that you are there for her and that you four can all be together as a proper family. Don't let me down, Edward, but most of all, don't let her down. She can't do this alone again."

I looked at him with a puzzled expression. I didn't understand. You four? She will need you this time? "But, Dad, I don't understand. What are you talking…" And like that, it all clicked.

My father looked at me with the biggest smile on his face, the smile of a proud grandfather. "I don't know if I'm supposed to tell you this, but Bella's pregnant, Edward. You're going to be a father again."

* * *

**Disclaimer: S. Meyer owns all things Twilight. I own a shitty day at work and some new bracelettes. This work is DevonAshleigh's and cannot be plagarized or copied unless specific written permission is given by me. Copyright 2010.**

**A/N: Okay, folks. Let's do it again, shall we? This chapter was a bitch and a half to write and I had no flippin idea how I was going to get Edward and Bella together, but I think it worked out. Turns out my characters decided that Bella was going to be pregnant. Funny how shit turns out, eh? I don't really know if I even like this chapter, but I hope you do.**

**Special thanks to my secret lover/beta LittleMissInnocence. She rocks my socks in the bedroom and out. She encouraged me a lot with this chapter by telling me how fuckawesome I am. I needed the ego boost. In return, I will continue to pimp. Check out her stories Just One Night and The American Dream. I actually re-read Just One Night the other day, just for kicks and it turns out, I still love it. Don't be an epic fail. Just read em.**

**I tried to get to 130 reviews last chapter but didn't get there. That makes me a very sad panda. I did however, get to 110. That's the most reviews in one chapter that I've gotten. Pleaseee review. Even if you don't know what to say. A simple "I lurbed it like I love Edward covered in jujubes." or "I hated it. Bella's feet smell." will suffice. JUST DO IT. I know how many of you read this thing and I will be forced to hide all my chapters from you and just enjoy them between me and my beta if you don't review. It's coming to threats. I'm a desperate woman. **

**RL is kinda sketchy this week with me working every day, but I will try try try to get you a chapter out by like Friday? Maybe I'll be motivated if you review. Love you all. xoxoDev.**


	11. Chapter 10 Passenger Seat

**Before the Worst  
****Chapter 10- Passenger Seat**

_We stop to get something to drink_

_my mind clouds and I can't think_

_scared to death to say I love her_

_then the moon peeks from the clouds_

_I hear my heart, it beats so loud_

_try to tell her simply..._

_That I've got all that I need_

_Right here in the passenger seat_

_Oh and I can't keep my eyes on the road_

_Knowing that she's inches from me_

_I checked my phone right after work, waiting for Edward to text me. We usually made plans on a Friday night because that was the only night he had off from the hospital. It sucked that we never got to spend any time together. I really missed him. _

_I walked down the street towards home, when my phone beeped. I smiled looking at the screen when I saw Edward's name pop up and not Alice. She wouldn't stop texting me with her baby nonsense. Halfway through the message, she would write "…I can't remember what I was going to say." It was getting annoying and this was only her first baby._

_Meet me for coffee? Regular spot. Love You –E_

_Be there in 5. Love U 2–B_

_I was curious why he wanted to meet before we went to the movie, but it was obvious he wanted to talk about something. I was still on cloud nine from the first company event we had just finished last weekend. Alice, Rosalie, and I, were becoming an unstoppable team and there was even bigger news than that. I was pregnant._

_I was so excited to tell Edward. It might be too soon for us, and we might not be in the same spot as we hoped we would be, but I knew he would be excited. I couldn't wait till I showed him the house tonight after the movie and told him about our miracle. It was crazy and impulsive to buy a house with my first big paycheck, but it felt so right. It didn't matter if we were married, or if we did things in a fucked up order. All that mattered was that I loved Edward and we were going to be starting our family. _

_I jogged down the road to the Starbucks that was near our work office. Alice's parents had helped us by buying the offices for us so that we started off our company looking completely professional. This particular Starbucks knew us all by name and was our frequent stop when planning late into the night or starting early in the morning. _

_Edward was waiting for me in our usual booth with a somber look on his face. I knew instantly that something might be wrong. Feeling the tension, I unconsciously put my hand to my stomach in a loving rub, but retracted it like I had burned myself. I couldn't be doing this here. It wouldn't be too long before I was telling Edward and I was never good at keeping secrets. This one had to be told properly. It was like marriage proposal, I couldn't just spoil it. _

_I sat down next to him with a big smile on my face. "Hey, baby. How was work?"_

_He looked into my eyes and my heart broke for him. Something was obviously troubling him, and I just wanted to make it go away. I hated seeing him so upset. "Hey," he said quietly. "I have to talk to you."_

_I put my bag down beside me on the bench without taking my eyes off his. This was going to be bad. What had him looking so upset? "Okay, Edward. What is it? Is something wrong at work? Is someone hurt?"_

_He looked down suddenly and I saw his slight wince before he breathed in deeply and caught himself. "Bella, I can't do this anymore."_

"_What do you mean?" I asked, clearly confused._

"_This," he said, pointing between him and I. He took a pause while my mouth gaped a little open. The tears were threatening to fall at a rapid pace, but I had to wait until I heard everything. What the fuck was he talking about? "I can't do this anymore. It's too soon and it's too fast. I'm just not ready for this kind of relationship. We're still kids, Bella. Don't you want to experience life?"_

"_Edward, what the fuck are you talking about? We're dating; we're not married or engaged. I don't fucking understand. It's not like anyone is dying. We can still experience life! Where is all of this coming from?"_

"_Don't be angry, Bella. I'm just trying to explain to you how I'm feeling. We jumped into this and everything is going way too fast! We've been dating for awhile now and I just can't have this kind of commitment so early in my life. I'm only in my twenties. This is just too soon for me. There are still a lot of things I want to do, without having to worry about what will become of us." He looked in my eyes and I saw the pure honesty I used to love so much. It was breaking me completely in half now. I just didn't know what to say to him anymore. He was really breaking up with me? He didn't even know about his baby._

"_Edward, we can do all of those things together. What is it? You hate it here? Is that the problem? Well let's move. I don't care what we are doing and where we are as long as we're together. None of this shit matters." I was desperately clinging to something; anything to keep him here with me and our unborn child. I couldn't do this alone, I needed him._

"_Bella, I don't want to be with you. I don't want you to come with me. I can't do this. What part of that don't you understand? I don't want this baby."_

Wait, that wasn't right.

"_What are you talking about, Edward? I haven't even told you about any baby."_

_He looked at me with a deadly expression. "I know you're pregnant and I don't want anything to do with it. You can do this on your own. I bet it's not even mine."_

That wasn't how Edward and I broke up. I'm so confused and my head really hurts. The image of Edward and the coffee house left me while I tried to pry my eyes open. I could hear a velvet voice in the background that I had deciphered was Edward's. I tried to get back to that voice, back to home. He wasn't leaving this time. He loved me. I felt one of my arms come up and rub my eyes while they continued to stay firmly shut. Where was I?

"Bella?" The voice called out to me. "Can you hear me, baby?" Baby? Who's baby? Oh, he meant me.

I finally got my eyes to open as the sheer pain shot through them. It was unusually bright and I was dressed in a god awful dressing gown. The walls were painted a bright white that was almost too clean. I was definitely in the hospital, a place I hadn't been since Gracie was born. Gracie. Where is she? Oh god.

I started to panic wondering what happened to my daughter. "Edward? Where's Grace?" My voice came out like gravel being pushed through a blender. It didn't even sound like me.

I saw him coming towards me with relief etched on his face. I was getting much better at reading his expressions, just like I used to be. Everything Edward ever felt was always written on his face, making him an impossible liar. Sometimes that wasn't always a good thing.

He held onto my hand. "Oh, Bella. I was so worried, honey. How are you feeling?"

Did he not just hear me? "I'm fine, Edward. Where's Grace? Is she okay?" I was about to bust a cap in his ass, gangster style, if he didn't tell me where my daughter was. Cast or no cast, pain was coming to him.

He began rubbing smooth circles on my palm while he brushed the hair out of my eyes. I'm sure it would have been soothing if I wasn't afraid for my daughter. "She's fine. Grace has a little bump on her head and some minor cuts from where the strap of her car seat dug in, but other than that, she's fine. Grace is a trooper, Bells. You know that."

I smiled as the enormous relief flowed through me. Nothing could be more worrisome than knowing your only child is hurt or alone somewhere. "She's with your sister then?" I asked.

He nodded his head while he shot a quick glance at my stomach. He turned away so quickly that I wouldn't have noticed if I wasn't watching him so intently. I looked down myself with a skeptical look on my face, wondering if something was wrong. "What is it, Edward? Do I have ketchup on me or something?"

He chuckled softly and ran a hand through his hair. It was a typical nervous Edward movement that I was all too familiar with. "Nothing is wrong, honey." I was wondering where all these pet names were coming from. "You should make sure not to move, Bells. You broke a couple ribs and your arm is obviously broken. The cast will stay on for a couple weeks and then they will do some more x-rays and then they can see what the situation is."

I nodded, trying to comprehend through the rage at the cast and my limited mobility. The way he fidgeted in his seat told me that he was hiding something though. Edward never fidgeted, ever. It was like some crazy ability he had to keep perfectly still. I never understood it, but I knew it was a dead giveaway that he was guilty when he did move around restlessly. "Anything else?" I asked curiously.

He sighed and leaned away from me. Edward sat back in his chair, listening to the rhythmic pattern of the beeping machines. I didn't know how long he had been there for. He looked like shit. Worried and anxious did not mix well with Edward. You could tell in the wrinkle of his clothes and the disarray of his hair that he never slept. "I have no idea how I'm supposed to tell you this." He interrupted my thinking process and I waited for him to continue while the fog of a naked Edward left my thoughts.

"You're pregnant, Bella." Edward said bluntly.

Well that did it. Forget the naked images of Edward ever being in my brain. It seems that's where this whole thing came from. Naked Edward was bad and oh, so good. Stop it, brain. "I'm what?" I said shockingly. Could this week possibly get any worse?

"You're pregnant. My dad said the doctors were worried because of the extent of the accident and the condition of the baby. My family was pretty on edge there for awhile because we weren't sure if the baby would survive." The unshed tears in his eyes spoke volumes about the care and love he already had for the baby. I put my hand to my stomach while he was talking about the injuries and the condition of my wrecked car. He watched my hand move while he paused for a breath and look at it longingly. I knew Edward wanted to touch me, but I'm glad that he didn't. I don't know if I could handle being immobile while I watched him touch our unborn baby. I would want to kiss him and run into his arms. It was all I had hoped for when I was pregnant with Grace.

Pregnant, holy shit. I couldn't believe how amazing Edward's sperm were. Truly, genius sperm. They had to be some supernatural sperm to impregnate me not once, but twice. Not to mention the second time was a one shot thing. I thought I had been taking my birth control regularly so that this thing didn't happen. It wasn't like I was having sex with everyone and their brother; it's just that I wanted to make sure if the occasion did arise, I would be ready. Apparently, my body had other ideas when it came to Edward. I hadn't had sex in a long time before him and I think he knew from the moment he was told that it was his. At least I hope he did.

"Bells?" he asked, breaking me out of my train of thought. "Are you okay?"

I smiled at him. Edward would never stop worrying, especially now that I'm pregnant. "I'm great, Edward. Of course this wasn't exactly planned, but I'm excited. I know Gracie has been asking for a brother or sister."

He grinned from ear to ear as he took in my decision. I could never give up a baby, let alone one that was Edwards. I was all about a woman's right to choose, but it was never a choice with my baby. It was part of me, and part of Edward. I cherished anything that had to do with him, even though most of the time I wanted to kick his ass.

"I'm really sorry I have to ask this Bella, but it's mine right? I know you had a boyfriend before but my dad said you're only a few weeks in and I just wanted to make sure…"

I huffed loudly. "Edward, of course it's yours. It's not like I sleep around or anything." He cringed slightly. Oh, we would talk about that later. "It's yours, and there was no boyfriend before. Alice made all that shit up because she thought she was protecting me. We had a huge blow out fight about it. Turns out, your sister doesn't want us to be together. She doesn't want me hurt again."

Edward pulled his chair closer to me and put one hand on my arm and one still in my hand. "Bella, I can't lose you, I just can't. You have no idea what it felt like knowing that you were here and that my entire family was here before me. I want to always be with you. I thought that I wasn't going to be able to see you again; to tell you I love you again. I'm not asking you to forgive me. I'm asking you to just give me a chance. I need you, Bella. I need you, our daughter and our unborn child. I want to experience everything with you this time." He put his head on my arm on top of his hand, and I felt my arm become damp with his tears.

I wasn't sure what I was supposed to say. I loved Edward, I always have. When he left, he crushed me, but I know that he wants another chance. I couldn't imagine dying or being in a coma and not being able to be with him either. I deserved this. I deserved a shot at true happiness and trust my ability to forgive. I will never forget, but I will try to forgive. I owe this to myself; I owe this to our daughter and our unborn child. I'm not proposing marriage, just a few dates. I wanted to give Edward a chance. If I was in this situation, I hope he would give it to me too.

I brushed my hands through his silky hair and held him as best as I could without moving. It brought extreme pain to me and I knew my ribs must be broken pretty badly. "Edward, look at me please."

He brought his eyes up to mine as I saw the lighter shade of green shine through. I had never seen Edward break down like this. The fact that he cared so much for us was truly endearing. "I want to give this thing a shot too. I think we should go slowly, but I think our family deserves a chance to be whole." I told him confidently. "I just don't think I can handle you hurting me again, especially when Grace and another baby are involved..." I whispered. I was ashamed to admit the last part. It was weak and pathetic, but I needed him to know how I felt.

Edward smiled a brilliant smile before coming over and hugging me softly. He was careful of my side and my arm, while I felt the love he poured into it. "Oh, Bella, you have no idea how happy that makes me!" he said while stroking my hair and back lovingly. "I've missed you so much."

He pulled away but kept cuddled close to my side in the chair. "We're going to have a baby," I said quietly, finally letting the excitement shine through my voice. It was the first time since all the stress of the accident that I got to appreciate another life growing inside me. I never thought this would happen again.

"May I?" Edward asked while glancing at my stomach. I giggled a little at his fascination before nodding.

He leaned his hand into my stomach softly before gliding over it from side to side. Edward was such a tough man and an incredible doctor, but the calmness and softness in his touch, almost brought tears to my eyes. It was so loving, as he made small circles on the flat flesh. There was no sign of a bump or movement from the baby, but I knew that this would be his favourite pastime.

"It's incredible. I never thought I would be able to have this. Thank you so much, Bella. I'm so sorry I missed this with Grace. It was always my biggest regret."

"I should have told you, Edward. You didn't even know I was pregnant. I didn't give you a choice," I said while closing my eyes and leaning back on the hospital bed. This part was always a struggle for me. I felt like such a bitch. It was a simple phone call. Now that I saw the light in his face, I felt even worse.

"Hey, look at me," Edward said while I cast my eyes open sadly. "We have another shot, Bella. I'll get the chance to do all those things again and, the best part about it is, I will have you by my side. I'll never miss a Christmas or a birthday with my children ever again. I will get to see the first days of school, first kicks and first words. You have no idea how much that means to me."

He leaned forward and placed a kiss on my stomach. "Hello, son. You be good for your mommy. I love you."

I laughed. "Son, eh? What if it's a girl?"

He scoffed teasingly. "We boys got to stick together."

It was a peaceful moment for the first time since Edward moved back into our lives. There was no fighting, no cruel words and nothing but happy tears. It was, dare I say, perfection.

* * *

**Disclaimer: S. Meyer owns all things twilight. I own a bottle of gingerale and Walker's shortbread. No, this does not taste good. This story is DevonAshleigh's and is not to be copyrighted or plagarized unless explicit written permission is given by me.**

**A/N: **Chapter 10. Holllly cow. If I had known that I would be writing my own fanfic, let alone 10 chapters in, I would have thought you were crazy. I'm still super self concious about my writing. I hope it's good for all of you. I'm running low on snarky comments so I'll just reccomend some fanfics for you.

If you haven't read Master of the Universe by Snowqueens Icedragon, University of Edward Masen by SebastienRobichaud, High Anxiety by EdwardsBloodType, Labor of Love by lizconno, The Gentlemen from Washington State by Betty Smith, Code of Conduct by MandyLeigh87, Silver Strand Nights by GreenEyedGirl17, Just One Night by LittleMissInnocence, or Hit By Destiny by ocdmess, you have lost your marbles. Those are the immediate favourites that I look forward to every week, but there are so many incredible authors and stories that I have on my favourites. I have read almost each and every one, and any of those are incredible too, so make sure to check em out! I love my fifty shades and a preggo Bella!

Super magical, fantastical, amazing, exhuberant thank you to my INCREDIBLE beta LittleMissInnocence whom, despite my protests, always has my chapters done in remarkable time. Seriously, we should time her. Her fic Just One Night is recommended above, and I will continue to recommend it as long as this story is continued to be written. Which I hope, is till the epi. Maybe Lynn will stick around with me through it too if I haven't driven her crazy by then. I seriously need to send her chocolates or something.

The reviews from last chapter made my heart grow nine hundred sizes, The Grinch Who Stole Christmas style. It was AMAZING! Thank you, thank you, thank you. You have NO IDEA how much that means to me. I tried to reply to everyone, and I think I did, but if I didn't I'm sooo sorry. I will try to be a better review replier when the next ones come in. Hint Hint. Let's review some more. I need it with my hectic work week! Lynn needs it too, even though it's not her story. I'll share. REVIEW FOR US BOTH! :):):) I hope you enjoy. xoxo. Dev

Ps- Boy or Girl for the new baby? I haven't decided quite yet but let's see what you guys are hoping for. Might persuade my decision :) Thanks again!


	12. Chapter 11 Breathless

**Before the Worst  
****Chapter 11- Breathless**

_You leave me breathless_

_You're everything good in my life_

_You leave me breathless_

_I still can't believe that you're mine_

_You just walked out of one of my dreams_

_So beautiful you're leaving me_

_Breathless_

_And if our love was a story book_

_We would meet on the very first page_

_The last chapter would be about_

_How I'm thankful for the life we've made_

_**And if we had babies they would have your eyes**_

_**I would fall deeper watching you give life**_

_You don't even know how very special you are_

Holding Edward's hand as we excited the hospital was one of the best moments I had experienced in awhile. Well, aside from learning I was newly pregnant. I couldn't believe how much had changed in such a short amount of time.

Edward was back in Seattle and knew about Gracie. We had talked briefly about our situation, and then slept together. He wrote me a note that I found while one of my best friends tried to hide it. All the while, his sister was plotting with Rosalie to keep us apart. I had gotten into an accident while taking Gracie to spend more time with him, and then found out I was pregnant. These were some pretty busy weeks. I didn't even know how I had time to eat in-between the plotting and the sexing. Speaking of sexing…

I looked over at Edward to find his crooked grin plastered on his face. It seemed to have been permanently there lately. Maybe it was true that if you put your face in that position for long enough, it stuck there. I hoped that was true, because the moment he looked at me, I never wanted it off his face. His eyes told me everything I ever needed to know. Edward was cherishing me, and the joy that was expressed, was better than any gift.

As he pushed me in the wheelchair, which pissed me off already, we discussed that he would come and stay with me for a few days to help me with Grace while I healed. The doctor told me to take it easy, and that my mobility should be as little as possible while my ribs and arms were healing, not to mention not adding any extra stress for the baby. It was early on in my pregnancy, which made the risks higher for a miscarriage, especially in my circumstance. Yeah, try staying still with a four year old with a strange addiction to _The Wiggles_ and Prince.

Edward practically insisted that he stay and help me out. I think he was just trying to find a way to wriggle into my bed and get extra time with our daughter. The incessant worrying was already getting on my nerves as he pushed me out of the hospital at breakneck grandma speed. I couldn't imagine what it was going to be like while he stayed, but I was so thankful for any help.

I hadn't talked to Alice or Rosalie as I left the hospital, and kept it minimal with Emmett and Jasper. As far as I knew, they had nothing to do with their wives meddling, but everyone was guilty until proven innocent in my book. I was still so enraged that I didn't get to squeal to my friends about the pregnancy like they did with me. I wanted to share this experience with them, but there was no way I was going to brush this off like it was yesterday's news. It was today's news, and tomorrow's. If Edward and I hadn't managed to semi-fix this on our own, we would have never been together. What kind of friendship was that? What is with everyone betraying my trust?

"What are you thinking about so hard, baby?" Edward asked, while he looked down at me. I had my hand over my stomach, a constant move that I didn't sport with Gracie. This baby had already been through so much with me, I never wanted to let him or her go. Edward nudged my shoulder softly, urging me to continue when I didn't respond. We were only just out of my room. The baby was going to be here before we even made it out of the hospital at his worrisome speed.

"Just wondering when we're ever going to get out of here. I have a lot of things to do you know. Planning the nursery, working, eating…" I replied, teasingly.

"Yeah, yeah, co-pilot Swan. I have precious cargo here. I won't break the speed limit," he said while resting his arms around my shoulders in the wheelchair. He began pushing right from his legs as his hands were placed on my stomach, and arms around my waist in the seat. It was an awkward position, but I loved the feeling of his hands on me and his child. I smiled softly at him and allowed him to continue his ridiculous actions. God help us when Gracie started dating.

I saw Gracie walk in front of us, but the mere speed of her walking was faster than Edward. I looked at him as he caught my gaze and motioned with my free hand at our daughter, who was leaving us in her dust. I heard him mumble and pick up his speed a half a step faster as I chuckled.

My car was beyond fucked up, and I knew it was going to cost a fortune to fix it. I obviously wouldn't be driving anytime soon, so Edward brought his car to the front to pick us up, car seat in tow. He left me in the wheelchair by the entrance of the hospital while he loaded up Gracie in her car seat. After triple checking that she was securely in, he brought the wheelchair over to the passenger seat while he gently tried to load me in. Edward was always gentle with me, and I ended up not feeling too much pain as we rode to my house.

Esme had been in earlier to put fresh sheets on my bed and tidy up a bit before our arrival home. I tried to tell her I would call someone in, but she insisted. It looked like Carlisle had been in with her by the looks of my newly set up DVD player and movie collection stacked perfectly.

I got helped up the stairs, with an extreme amount of pain, from Edward. I knew he hated seeing me like this by the visible wince on his face every time my body tensed from the struggle. Once that I had got situated, I knew that I didn't want to stay in this room to heal. I wanted to get up and hold my daughter and play with her, but instead, I was stuck in this room for what was going to seem like forever. I was pissed at that stupid driver who got us into this in the first place.

"Okay, so, there's a sandwich on the table for lunch, _Anchorman_ is in the DVD player, the remotes are beside you and Gracie is downstairs with Bailey. Can I get you anything else, babe?" Edward asked while slipping into the bed beside me. He rested his arm behind my shoulders while I laid on my back and he laid on his side, facing into me. He reached one hand over and gently rubbed circles all over my waist and stomach.

I sighed into his touch as a familiar comforting gesture. "A time machine?" I asked while closing my eyes and leaning my head back on his arm. I hoped that he wasn't going to move anytime soon, he was so comfortable.

I heard him laugh while he grabbed one of the pillows behind him to prop up my arm with the cast on it. He didn't respond, so I continued. "As much as I love this doctor thing, all I keep thinking about is Gracie and how much I just want to pick her up."

I opened my eyes to see Edward staring, brilliantly, back at me. He grabbed the hair out of my eyes and brushed it behind my ear as I pouted shamelessly. "I know you do, Bells," he said while rubbing my earlobe with his thumb and index finger. "But she will be fine, I promise. I may not have been a father for that long, but I love Gracie and I will never let her get hurt in any way. Grace, you and this baby are my life. You know that right?"

I looked down at the hands in my lap, feeling slightly guilty over the continuing questioning. I don't think he understood that I just didn't want to be in this bed, not that I was questioning his abilities as a father. He was incredible from day one. "I know. I just hate being in this bed!" I said with a huff, unconsciously moving slightly while the searing pain shot up my side and through my arm. "Ow, fuck."

"Bella, you have to stay still, baby." Edward worried. "Please, I hate seeing you like this."

After huffing around for a good half an hour and not even watching my favourite DVD, I decided to eat the sandwich that was left for me. Edward, being the genius that he is, left Gracie's old baby monitor on the table while he had the other one downstairs with him and Grace. All I had to do was yell into it for anything I wanted and he would get it for me. Not that I would use it, but it was a great idea.

I was started to get jealous of hearing all the giggles coming from my beautiful daughter, when Edward and Gracie decided to join me upstairs. It was adorable. They decided to bring up dinner and everyone ate on the bed, keeping me company.

We were nibbling on the incredible chicken and potatoes that Edward had made, when Gracie began to get into her pensive mode. I nudged Edward silently to look at his daughter and the expression on her face. He glanced from Gracie to me and I mouthed 'She's going to ask something' silently.

"Mommy?" Gracie began.

I laughed silently trying to keep as still as I could while Edward joined me in the laughter with a shake of his head. "Yes, baby?"

Grace rose to her knees and pushed the plate away so that she was facing towards Edward and me at the headboard of the bed. "Are you and Daddy going to get married?" she asked.

Edward coughed loudly on a piece of his chicken while I tried to compose myself. How the hell was I supposed to answer that?

Luckily, Edward decided to jump in after his abnormally long coughing fit. "How would you feel about that, Gracie boo?"

I panicked on the inside while Gracie thought about her answer. My daughter and my boyfriend, I guess that was what he was, were discussing marriage in front of me and we hadn't even been on a date yet. I guess 'taking things slowly' meant jumping into a proposal. I wonder what a normal pace would have been. Marriage one day and then pregnant the next? Oh wait…

"I like you being here, Daddy. You and Mommy should get married," Gracie said nonchalantly while picking at her socks.

Edward leaned over and ruffled her hair. "That's good to know, baby," he said while he remained in eye contact with me. What the fuck is that? Is that some subtle hint that he wanted to marry me? Well, two can play at the uncomfortable game.

I patted my stomach and smiled sweetly at him while his face paled. He totally knew what I was going to do. "Gracie? How would you feel about getting a brother or sister? You said before you've always wanted one."

Her eyes grew wide at my statement and she looked up from her socks to my face. I could tell with the wide grin that she was going to jump on me. Edward must've noticed and put his hand gently against her small body to stop the action. That would have definitely caused a lot of pain.

"YES! MOMMYYYYYYY! Let's go to the store and pick the baby up right now!" Gracie cried while bouncing up and down in her spot on the bed.

Edward sputtered. "Gracie….you – you don't pick up…you can't-can't." He cleared his throat before continuing. "Baby, you can't pick up a baby at the store."

I pondered before I looked over at him. "You can't, Edward? Where does one go about getting a baby then?" I teased, keeping my face completely serious.

He shielded his body towards me before sending out a death glare. 'What the fuck are you doing!' he mouthed silently. I smiled at him playfully and he turned his body back to Gracie's.

Gracie unexpectedly hopped onto his lap and poked him in the eye with her finger. "Daddy! We go get ice cream?"

He rubbed his eye while scrunching up his nose. It looked utterly adorable. "Sure, baby. Go put your shoes on." Grace ran out to her room before he even had the words shoes out of his mouth, leaving him to sit there, still rubbing his eye.

I laughed and tried to keep the pain off my face. "Edward, welcome to fatherhood."

He stopped and pouted at me before flopping onto his belly with his head at my stomach. "Does baby want ice cream?" he asked, directly to my stomach.

"Sure does." I smiled.

He leaned his face towards me before scoffing loudly. "I wasn't talking to you. I was talking to the baby."

I rolled my eyes at his endearing actions. "Edward, the baby can't respond. I, however, want ice cream."

He leaned his face back down towards my stomach, angling his ear against it. "What's that baby? You want ice cream?" he asked while placing a kiss on the exposed flesh. "Okay, I'll get you ice cream."

Edward rose up to his knees beside me while he leaned down and kiss me on the lips. It wasn't our first kiss by any means, and it didn't even seem like he did it on purpose, but it ignited the same spark that it did so many years before. It was like relief; like I could finally take another breath again now that his lips had rhythm with mine. It was innocent and chaste at first while I felt the warmth from his breath and the moisture in his kiss escape and flood onto me. He caught what he was doing and acknowledged my movement with his by deepening it and opening his mouth ever so softly. I immediately reacted by pushing my tongue softly against his bottom lip, asking for entry silently. His tongue mingled with mine as the world stopped turning around us. I wasn't a mother, an employer, or a daughter. I was Edward's completely and truly. It was breathtaking in all its beauty, and I basked in it while his tongue and lips moved against mine, syncing together.

"DADDY! I'm ready!" Gracie yelled from the landing outside our room. Edward broke the kiss while leaning his forehead against mine and sighing softly.

"Wow," I uttered dumbly. It seemed that he took every brain cell from me and every possibility of movement was gone, despite my broken body. I couldn't move or think even if I tried, the haze was too strong and the lust was too deep.

"I know," he whispered. "God, I missed you, Bella. I can't ever be away from you for too long again." I closed my eyes and felt his breath on my face as he kissed my forehead. It was just a kiss, a slow movement in terms of our relationship, but it spoke volumes in our love for each other. You could feel it in the structure of the house, the deep comfort in my stomach, in our child's soft hair, and our unborn child's heartbeat. Love at its rawest and most pure form; innocent yet completely easy.

Edward kissed our baby once more before heading off with our daughter for some ice cream. He was the one now carrying the precious cargo.

The weeks went by slowly as my recovery continued to get on my nerves. I tried to stay as immobile as possible while Edward played and took care of Gracie and I. I felt more than useless as a mother and a girlfriend. We hadn't moved anything past sweet kisses and nothing more emotional than our first kiss during our reconnection. It seemed awkward to go from sleeping together and conceiving a child, to innocent gestures.

There was a small bump now forming on my stomach and although it was not noticeable, it was to me. It was the only reason I was actually staying put in this bed. Edward thought I was insane as he could see no real difference, but I knew that I saw it. At eight weeks, it was probably me imagining things due to craziness of being confined to the same four walls.

Edward also had to go back to work after the first week because he just couldn't get any more time off from the hospital. He worried constantly, fearing that I would begin to get up and walk around when clearly, I couldn't. Carlisle and Esme helped me as much as they could with Gracie and my care, until Edward came and took over. It was nice to have Edward stay here with me. It was like he belonged here the whole time, which technically he did when I bought the house for me and him. It was innocent while he lay in the bed next to me, but just the sound of his heartbeat and steady breath, helped keep me grounded. I loved having him here and seeing his clothes and toiletries scattered across our room. Even as I got better, he still stayed here claiming to need to be with Gracie and help me out. He said I was 'still healing', but I believe it was him that didn't want to leave. Edward always told me his apartment felt cold and empty without his family there and I didn't mind him staying one bit.

I was finally able to move around and do most things by myself now. My cast was still an annoyance, but it would be coming off in a few weeks anyways. I couldn't carry Grace or pick up heavy objects, but I shouldn't be doing that anyways because of the pregnancy. I was excitedly planning the nursery and helping to convince Edward to let us know the sex earlier than the birth. I had to know what to plan for and I hated those stupid gender neutral colours. Who thought yellow was gender neutral anyways?

Edward had gone off to work the morning of my ninth week of pregnancy and Gracie was at the Cullen's, giving me some time by myself. Although I was almost completely healed, I still needed to rest and take it easy for the baby's sake. I was carrying a light bag of recycling outside for Garbage Day when an unexpected face appeared across the street getting out of his car.

I dropped the bag at the end of the driveway and waited as Peter walked up towards me. I was stunned to see him after ignoring all of his persistent calls following our horrible date. I remembered him being cocky, chauvinistic and most certainly dull. It was no wonder why I never called him back and never would. I had Edward now and I was pregnant. Peter was most definitely out of the picture.

"Hey, Bella," he said while walking over to me. "How are you feeling?"

I looked at him, clearly confused before responding. "I'm fine, Peter. What are you doing here?" I was sounding a little bitchy, but honestly this was kind of creepy. Why is he showing up here after I've been ignoring him for so long?

"I just thought I'd ask how you were after the accident and bring you these. Tiger lilies. Your favourite, right?"

I was shocked that he remembered my favourite flower after knowing me for the span of one event and one horrible date. It was amazing the things he remembered and the gesture was truly sweet. I guess he heard about the accident from Rosalie or Alice and the fact that he brought me flowers made me feel really guilty about the way I acted.

I gave the flowers a small sniff before responding. "Thank you, Peter. That was really sweet of you. You didn't have to go to all that trouble."

He scratched his head with a grin on his face. "It was no problem, Bells."

I played with the flowers nervously in my hands. "Listen, Peter. I'm really sorry about the way I acted on our date. I feel really bad about it, but I should probably be upfront with you and let you know that I have a boyfriend now. I got back together with the father of my child and we are very happy. I'm sorry."

Peter looked defeated as his frame slightly slumped and the grin failed from his face. "Oh, that's okay. I knew asking you out again was a long shot, but I just wanted to bring those to you anyways. I hope you are feeling better and I'm glad you're happy. I felt horrible after our date. I was so nervous. I acted like a complete jerk. I'm sorry, too."

I smiled softly at him. "It's no problem at all, Peter. Friends?" I asked while putting my hand in front of my body for him to take.

He hesitated slightly and then took my hand with a firm but gentle shake. It was very businesslike in nature, but very much Peter. "Of course, Bella" He checked his watch. "I have to be going, but feel better, Bells. It was nice seeing you."

"You too, Peter. Have a nice afternoon." I responded before watching him get into his car and drive off.

I walked up the driveway to the door in a slightly better mood, with flowers in-tow. I knew Edward would ask where I got them when he got back with Gracie later tonight, but I would just be honest with him. We weren't together when I went on the date and he already had a feeling that it was a date when I asked him to babysit. There would be no point in lying to him. It wouldn't help our relationship. I just hoped he would understand that there were no feelings between Peter and me, but we were going to be friends.

I stopped dead in the middle of the driveway, a thought coming into my brain. How did Peter know where I lived when I met him at the restaurant for our date?

* * *

**DISCLAIMER: S. Meyer owns all things Twilight. I own a Coach purse and the privilege of being a Daddy's girl. It gets me pretty much anything. This story is DevonAshleigh's. It is not allowed to be duplicated, copywritten or plagiarized without explicit written permission by me. Copyright 2010 DevonAshleigh. **

**A/N:** Okay, let me first ask if you guys saw the Grey's Anatomy season finale? HOOOOOLY CHEESE ON TOAST. I have never missed an episode of it, and my heart was racing out of my damn chest! DO NOT READ ON IF YOU HAVE NOT SEEN IT AND STILL HAVE TO. SKIP TO THE *'S WHILE I RANT. Meridith loosing the baby? OH MY GOD. I was sooo upset. I think I almost puked like 95% of the time and yes that was too much information, but totally true! Jeeebus! I felt so bad for her when Derek was shot! Christina is my new hero and Owen is out of the dog house, barely. Calie and Arizona with babies! Adorrrable. Also, I hope that Lexie does go back to Sloan and make beautiful salt and pepper babies with him because he is fantastic. Not that I don't like Alex... OH, and lastly, I hope she tells Derek. It was really too predictable to find out that she lost it and she wasn't even going to tell him. Rumours going around that she's leaving the show? I heard it, but I'm not sure.

***I'm done my rant. My boyfriend wasn't with me because I would have been hysterically sobbing which weirds him out, so I had to rant to someone. Anyways, back to BTW. I liked this chapter and so did my beta, so I hope you guys do. I also wanted to thank you for the reviews last chapter! They just keep getting more and more and I know that I tried to reply to most of them, if not all of them. If I missed you, please accept my apologies! I hope you didn't think that paradise would last forever did you? No way, Jose! I'm all for a HEA, but it's got to be interesting along the way! It's going to be a hell of a lot angstier than this, but mixed in with the same amount of happiness.

LITTLEMISSINNOCENCE, you rocked my socks yet again. Someone should pay you for this, hun. My beta is seriously amazing. I would reccomend that everyone asks her to be their beta, but then I would have none and that would make me sad. I refuse to share at this point, and I don't think I ever will. Even in all her craziness that is her RL, she still beta's a chapter for me like every day. It's ridiculous. Read her stories, check her out, add her on twitter...do something. She's too awesome to not be fanned over.

I could suggest a next chapter update day that would be far away because I work all this weekend and most of next week, but we all know that I would be lying. I will probably have one in the next couple days, but I am trying to make them longer for you! Read, Review. Leave some love for me please. I am not nearly coddled enough. Press the button....give me some story suggestions, some guesses at what you think is going to happen. OR BETTER YET, give me some baby names! Just review.

Sorry for the epicness. xoxo. Love you!


	13. Chapter 12 You'll Always Be My Baby

****

Before the Worst

**Chapter 12- You'll Always Be My Baby**

_In the sunlight or the rain_

_brightest nights or darkest days_

_**I'll always feel the same way**_

_whatever road you may be on_

_No, you're never too far gone_

_my love is there where ever you may be_

_**just remember that you'll always be my baby**_

_There I was 21 I was so ashamed of what I'd done_

_on a country road parked one night_

_what started out so innocent crossed the line_

_there was no denying I let God down_

_but instead of being angry he let his love surround me_

_**There he is my little man**_

_**I'm sure he'll get in trouble every now and then**_

_**and I pray to god that when he does**_

_**I'll be just as understanding as my father was**_

No, there's no way. I shook the thoughts out of my head while I continued my trek up the driveway and into the safe haven that was my home. He was just being sweet. Peter probably heard it from Rosalie or Alice that I had been injured and wanted to make sure that I was alright. It was caring and not creepy…right?

I headed into the house and started dinner for my family, which always brought me joy. I was never one of those women who did nothing, but cook dinner and clean, complete with the martini in their husband's hands, but I did enjoy cooking for Edward and our daughter. It gave me happiness to see them eating and enjoying their meal, while I was taking care of them. I was doing something nice for them and I loved them.

I was peeling the potatoes, or trying to with one arm, when I experienced another bout of morning sickness. I hadn't had it very badly when I was pregnant with Gracie, but I didn't really remember a lot from that pregnancy. I was so lost in the sorrow of losing my partner, that the days seemed to blend into each other. I regret not enjoying the simpler things in my previous pregnancy, but I wouldn't miss them this time around; morning sickness included.

I dropped the potato on to the counter hastily before running into the bathroom with just enough time to be sick. Vomiting always made me feel disgusting and dirty. I brushed my teeth and wiped off the excess toothpaste that was on my lips before heading back downstairs.

Half way through the preparations, Edward and my beautiful daughter bounced into the foyer, lighting up my entire day. Our reunion felt as if they hadn't been home for weeks, when in actuality, it had only been hours. Edward looked delicious in his scrubs and the pregnancy hormones were kicking in, full gear. Maybe that wasn't the hormones. I always wanted to be intimate with Edward even before I got pregnant. When we were fighting and in complete disarray, I still wanted his body wrapped into mine. It was a true bond and I wanted to experience it with him again, and soon. The chaste kisses would not hold me over for much longer.

"Hello, beautiful. How are you feeling baby?" Edward asked while wrapping his arms around my waist from behind. My back was flush against his chest and I felt him through the thin fabric easily.

"I'm feeling great, hun, a little nauseous, but great. How was your day?" I asked him while turning my head for a quick peck on the lips.

"Mmmm. My day was great. Nothing major but scrapes and bumps today," he replied while touching my stomach tenderly.

"That's good," I said while mashing the potatoes. I stopped for a second and turned around in his arms. "Why is she being so quiet? Is she doing something weird again?"

His brows furrowed before he looked down at Gracie clutching at his pant leg. I caught his gaze and looked down at her. I spoke softly while bending down to her level. "Gracie, baby? What's wrong? Don't you want to say hello to Mommy?"

She hid her face into her father's pant leg again while I raised my body up back to it's full height, which wasn't much to begin with. "What happened, Edward?"

He sighed and ran his hands through her curls soothingly. "She was kissed."

My breath caught in my throat just before it turned into giggles. "What do you mean she was kissed?" I asked, trying to contain my laughter.

"One of the ladies that run the child care program came up to me after school and let me know that one of the boys kissed Gracie today while they were playing in the yard. She smacked him pretty hard, which I'm kind of proud about. He ran away crying. His mother had to be called."

I scoffed at my daughter's poor behavior. The boy had no right to do what he did, but she had no right to hit him! "You told her that was wrong right, Edward?"

"No," he answered strongly. "Why would that be wrong?"

I laughed before turning back around to finish with dinner. "Oh my gosh, Edward. You're such a father."

He covered her ears slightly and came up beside me. "He kissed our baby, Bells! Our baby girl! I should have hit him myself."

I chuckled. "You're going to hit a four year old boy? I can just see the parental reaction when that happens." I shook my head.

"I'm glad you think this is so funny," he said teasingly before taking Gracie upstairs to put away her school things. I thought I heard him mumble about her being Daddy's little girl and that she should have hit him harder, but I couldn't be sure.

We ate dinner with easy conversation, like we had been a family forever. In reality, we had, just not all together. Edward and I had our fairy tale before Gracie was born. We had the parties, the drinks, the college experience and the crazy, insatiable sex. I had the memories of Gracie shortly after that. The late night feedings, the first words and the weird food cravings were my feelings and experiences to share while Edward wasn't here. Now, all together, we have the beauty of our relationship along with the beauty of our daughter. Soon we would be able to experience the mesh of both experiences together. That was always how it was supposed to be, so why did I still feel a little guarded?

After tucking Gracie into bed, where Edward told the story of our first meeting again to her, we softly padded into our bedroom. _Our bedroom?_ I guess that was what it was now. I hadn't formally asked him to move in, but he was always here every night, sleeping beside me. I don't think I could live without it. I guess I would have to discuss that with him, and soon.

We slowly undressed while we both continued our nightly rituals, before snuggling up together. It was always awkward the way that we undressed together. We would stand on our opposite sides of the bed and take off our clothing to change into our pajamas while trying to avoid looking at each other. There had been many times where I saw Edward try to sneak a peek at the front of my chest, and I tried to do the same with him below the waist. We had seen each other naked for years and in various compromising positions, so why did we feel the need to shield ourselves? It seemed there was a lot to discuss tonight.

I put my hand into his soft hair and massaged his scalp lightly. I felt him sigh beneath my fingertips while he rested his head on my chest and his hand on my stomach. It was always the same position every night. It was routine, and comfortable. I was turned-on, and he didn't even know it.

The way he sighed and fidgeted against my chest was excruciating. I had no bra underneath the thin, cotton t-shirt and the way his head moved to get comfortable, provided the most delicious friction. I bit my lip to stifle the moan that was erupting from my lips.

"I missed you today, Bella," he whispered secretly.

I smiled and rubbed my fingers slightly harder into his scalp. I felt his body relax, like his declaration would not have been returned. "I missed you too, Edward."

I sighed before I continued. "There were some things I wanted to talk to you about, though."

I felt his eyebrows rise against my chest. "Oh? What kind of things."

"I think you should move in here permanently," I said bluntly. _Oh my god! Why did I have to blurt it out like that?_ "I mean if you want to that is. The house was bought for me and you to live here with Gracie. Plus, there's another one on the way, so I figured you would want to be here as much as you can. You practically live here anyways, which I love, but I just thought –"

He startled me by leaning up quickly and taking my face into his large hands. _You know what they say about large hands… Shut up brain!_ "Bella, listen to me, baby. I want nothing more than to be here with you and our family. Thank you, so much. You have no idea what this means to me."

Before I got a word in, Edward kissed me with passion. It felt like sparks exploded behind my eyelids as I kissed him back with the same amount of effort. It was clumsy trying to fit my casted arm in between our flailing limbs as his hands ghosts across my body. He wanted to touch me, I know he did, but he was scared. I moaned into his mouth when his tongue saw revenge in mine. Edward took that as a good sign and began his exploration a little more forcefully. He wasn't rough in any way, just a little more confident and had more fluidity with his movements.

His breath hitched in my mouth when he put his hands on my breasts. They were slightly fuller due to the pregnancy, but they would get bigger when I was further along. I saw Edward staring at them enough as it is. He would probably be thrilled for later.

I stopped my train of thought when his thumbs teased the pebbling flesh of my nipples. It was sweet and cautious, but even the slightest of touches from him set my body afire. I moaned embarrassingly loud when he made direct contact and began rubbing with more vengeance. It felt incredible, as if my body had not been touched for years and was now awakened.

"Oh god, Edward. Don't stop, baby, please." I moaned while taking a breath in between our kisses.

"You feel so good, Bella. I missed you," he said with a grunt.

He put his hands under the flimsy shirt to drift them up my body. His hands touched the top of my stomach softly before applying more pressure to the underside of my breasts. He reached my nipples again before continuing to rub them with direct skin-on-skin contact. It felt heavenly.

I tried to focus on him as well as continued to enjoy the attention he was giving to a sensitive part of my body. While laying on my back, I thanked the lord that my good hand was closest to him as I slid it across his stomach. He seemed distracted and I took that time to get my hand gently across his crotch. Edward was hard, impossibly long and at full attention for me. When I placed my hand flush across his cock, he grunted out into the air.

"Holy, fuck, Bella!" he cried out. "That feels incredible."

I hadn't even started touching him yet as one of his hands left my chest to skin the top of my short-shorts. His hand dipped under the waistband to find me more than embarrassingly drenched. It had been so long since he touched me, and I just wanted to feel him inside me again.

Edward used his fingers to touch me just the way I liked it, while I stroked him underneath his boxers. I continued the motions, trying very hard to focus on him while I was fast approaching my orgasm. The way his fingers danced along my clit while also pumping inside me, was turning my body into jelly pretty quickly. I rubbed my hand up and down his length while my thumb brushed over the head in continuous motions. The air wasn't filled with easy or polite conversation, but with grunts and wild moans, trying to keep our voices down simultaneously. It was constant praises and the roll of our lover's names off our tongues before we both reached bliss.

After calming down our breathing and cleaning ourselves up, respectively, we lay back down on the bed, cuddling into each other.

"So much for going slow," he teased while his fingers were untangling my curls and running through my hair.

I laughed into the bare skin of his chest. "I think we passed that point when I asked you to move in with me."

He chuckled before kissing the top of my head. "I guess you're right. You don't regret it though, do you?"

I propped onto myself on my good elbow, while my cast lay across his stomach and I was looking into his eyes. "I never regret anything we do and that includes our baby. Edward, we have to get past the fact that we weren't together. It's been hard for me and I know it's been hard for you too, but I don't regret our baby and I don't regret us getting close again." I sighed before I laid back down onto his chest. "We both tried being without each other and it didn't work. I don't think we're together now just because I'm pregnant again, do you?"

"God no, Bella. I want you and all that goes along with you. I want the big house, our wonderful family and coming home to you. I just want this and us, exactly how we are now. Our baby will come into a loving household where their parents love one another and can provide for them." He paused for a moment, thinking. "I love you, Isabella Swan. I want to be with you until we are old and gray and fighting over whose walker is whose."

I wiped a tear from my eye awkwardly with my injured arm before giggling softly. "I love you too, Edward Cullen, and that will be my walker and you know it."

He laughed and continued rubbing my hair until we both fell into a peaceful sleep.

Rosalie and Alice, however, we not as peaceful. Alice had probably called my cell phone about thirty-five times in the last hour as well as the house phone another forty, easily. It was beginning to get ridiculous. It seemed that as soon as Rosalie and Alice had that fight with me, they called a respectable amount of times. It was limited to about ten calls for the house phone as well as my cell phone for each of them. When they found out I was pregnant and back with Edward, the calls doubled in amount and also in frequency. Lately, they had been ridiculous.

I had my laptop on my lap while Edward read quietly beside me. My cell phone was vibrating almost off the coffee table, so I had to keep it in my hands. My hand was numb and I could no longer type, not that I was having much luck in the first place. I was ignoring the calls and my inbox was filling up quickly, and there was no stopping her. Alice even got Jasper to call me every now and then, thinking that if I saw his number, I would answer. How stupid did she think I was?

Edward huffed loudly before setting his book down on the table. I was still avoiding Rosalie and Alice and working at home, while Edward got his first day off after working crazy hours at the hospital. We just wanted to enjoy one day in the company of each other since Gracie had been abducted by her grandparents for the day. Apparently, we couldn't get a single moment of quiet. If it was pissing Edward off, it must be bad. The man had the patience of a saint.

"I can't take this shit anymore," he huffed while glaring at my cell phone.

"I know, but I can't talk to them, Edward. You know what they did, and I'm just not ready yet."

"You shouldn't have to talk to them, Bells. They should respect your space and your choice, but instead, my sister is being pig-headed, thinking that she can get anything she wants. She's not ten years old and this isn't Mom and Dad. Alice can't give you 'the look' anymore and have you cave. She's a grown woman, for Christ sake."

I sighed loudly before I threw the phone at him. "Please, make her go away."

Edward opened the phone loudly. "What do you want, Alice?" he snapped.

His face blanched and looked guilty while he listened intently on the other line. It was so typical of Alice to always play her brother. She knew how to manipulate people and seemed to do it for fun, even if it was the people she loved. I loved how Edward acted so tough, but caved so easily to her.

"Okay, we'll be right there, Alice. Bye."

"Well that obviously went well, Edward. What happened to being tough and standing up to her, huh?" I said angrily.

"We have to go to Emmett's."

I turned back to my laptop. "Forget it, Edward. I'm not seeing them just because she became more persistent. She hurt me and I can't even believe you wouldn't respect the decision I made. You can call her right back and tell her to shove it up her –"

"Rosalie had a miscarriage, Bella. I think that trumps a fight."

Wordlessly, I shut down my laptop and grabbed Edward his keys, tossing them to him lightly. We didn't speak a word all the way to Emmett and Rosalie's house, but nothing needed to be said. He was right, this was above everything.

I got through the door with Alice barging at me in full speed. "Oh my god! I have been trying to call you for hours, Bella! Why haven't you been answering my calls? It was clearly an emergency and I'm so sick of you being pissed at me. You need to get over this and accept I was doing it for your own good. Just let it go so we can go back to normal already." She huffed.

I turned to her with my body seething. I was furious. "Alice, I am not here for you. You need to shut the fuck up right now before I make you. This is not about you so get the fuck over it and get out of my way. I don't have time to deal with you right now, if ever, so politely, fuck off."

She held her mouth open involuntarily, gaping at me. I had never spoken to Alice that way before and if I ever spoke to her again, I probably wouldn't speak to her that way again in our lives. There was few times that Alice needed to be put in her place and this was one of them.

I ran up the stairs as fast as my body could carry me and walked into Emmett and Rosalie's room. It was dark and only the soft light of the sunshine peeking through the gaps in the blind was available to illuminate the room. Emmett was on his knees beside the bed holding Rosalie's hand tenderly. She was laying on her side facing him, not crying or moving. They were quiet and no conversation was held between the two parents grieving over a child that could have been. Emmett heard me enter the room and glanced over in my direct before getting up and walking towards me. If Rosalie heard me, she made no motion to acknowledge my presence. I wasn't sure if she was still angry at me for our physical altercation or was lost in her own world. I was hoping for the latter.

I hugged Emmett tightly to me and kissed his cheeks while seeing his tear stained face as he walked away. Emmett always left a memorable experience with you when he hugged you with one of his famous bear hugs, but tonight I felt nothing more than a gentle pull. It was a fraction, really, of the wholeness that he portrayed with a simple touch. He was just as broken as her, if not more.

He slipped past me with the weakest of smiles and closed the door softly. It rang with a double meaning, breaking the silence in the room.

I walked over to Rosalie and slipped into bed with her. I spooned her body while leaning carefully on my casted arm and draping my good one over her broken body. I stroked her arm and felt her body tense while I kissed the back of her head affectionately. I gave her a gentle squeeze around her waist before she broke down into sobs. She cried and cried for I can't recall how long before her tears washed up. Rosalie had cried so much that the loss was still deep in her soul like a cut through butter, but her body wasn't able to let any more loose without exploding. I felt the silent tears string down my face along with her for her loss.

The only words that were spoken were a soft and barely audible murmur from the woman who rarely ever cried.

"I love you, Bella."

"I love you, Rosalie."

* * *

**Disclaimer: owns all things Twilight. I own a possible trip in the works to see my new best buddy and two fans trying to cool down my ridiculously hot bedroom. This is an original work of DevonAshleigh and is not allowed to be plagarized or copied without specific written consent from me. Copyright DevonAsheligh 2010.**

**A/N: **Here is chapter 12 for all of you! I already have the 13th chapter started with a song picked out so it should be up in a couple days. For some reason, I'm just spitting them out. This one gave you a little lemon because I was lacking in the lemon department and frankly, sick of it. However, the ending left me in tears while writing it. My heart really goes out to Rosalie. I have never lost a child or anyone close to me in my family (knock on wood), so I can only imagine what this would feel like. It is in no way trying to offend anyone that has had the same experience, just part of the plot.

Thank you to LittleMissInnocence aka Faunaaaaaaaaaaaaaalynnnnn. Yes, I felt the need to write it like that, leave me alone. I hope to make the epic adventure and bug the shit out of you in little ol' Ohio this summer. You won't be able to get rid of me. Read her fics, she is an epic beta.

Thank you to all of you that reviewed this week, and I have tried to reply to all blah blah blah, I'm a fail. The song in the top won't go to the centre, plus, my spell check for this isn't working and that's why I have such poor spelling in A/N's. I should get Lynn to beta them for me....

REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW. Teaser will go out to anyone who does! It usually takes me a couple days to get to them because I like replying to them all at once, but I will send a teaser your way! Thank you so much for reading, xoxox! Love you all!


	14. Chapter 13 Help Me Remember

**Before the Worst  
**_**Chapter 13- Help Me Remember**_

_I know that you're leavin'_

_As soon as the sun_

_Comes through the window_

_There's no talkin' this over_

_The damage is done_

_There's just too much hurt_

_Too much to forgive_

_Oh, we both know_

_We weren't always like this_

_Help me remember_

_The way that we used to be_

_When nothin' else mattered_

_'Cause you were lovin' me_

_Just for the night, one last time_

_One more good memory_

_When I look back_

_That's what I wanna see_

Listening to Rosalie's tears almost broke me completely. She was strong and beautifully fierce in every aspect of her life, but today, she was small and fragile.

She grasped my hand that was across her waist and squeezed it gently. "I'm sorry," she whispered into the darkened room.

It wasn't the appropriate time to talk about this. The situation that she was in is clearly above all of the fighting that we have had in the past. I secretly believed that Alice was the mastermind behind the plan anyways, but that didn't mean that I forgave her. Rosalie might have been rooting for me to tell Edward about Gracie, but she was still going along with Alice's plans. The very same plans that could have ruined everything I worked so hard for. Edward and I had a lot to discuss in terms of our relationships and a lot to go over to help build up our trust, but we did build a foundation that was secure. Alice and Rosalie threatened all of it, and for that, I was not so ready to forgive either of them.

"I know," I whispered back to her. "I'm not here to talk about that, Rose. I'm here for you."

She squeezed my hand again in a gentler motion before the silence engulfed the room. It may have been minutes or hours that Rosalie and I sat in the darkness together, basking in a broken friendship.

"Thank you, Bella," she choked out. "You didn't have to do this."

I sat in silence for a moment behind her, not really sure what to say to her. Here I was, pregnant unexpectedly, while she just lost a baby that she and Emmett had been trying for. I felt immense pain for her. It wasn't something that I could fix with a round of dancing, or a girly movie and a good cry. This was real loss, something that I had never known personally.

I sighed and readjusted my head on the pillow behind her. "Yes, I did."

She scoffed slightly, showing the sassiness that Rosalie usually sported. It died in her throat. "I was horrible to you. You've been ignoring my phone calls for weeks and I didn't even get to congratulate you on the baby. You have no idea how excited Alice and I are to be aunts again."

How could she be talking about this now? She had just lost a child, but she was concerned with our friendship. "Rosalie, I think there are bigger things than the status of our friendship right now. How are you feeling? Do you need a drink, or something to eat?"

She whipped her head back around towards me and shifted her body to face me suddenly. "What the fuck are you talking about Bella? The baby is gone. I can't be sad about something I never had!"

I cringed at the sound of her voice. This was going to be bad.

She didn't wait for my response before continuing. "Your friendship is all I have. The fucking baby is gone! It didn't want to be with me and neither do you! I can't control what the baby did, but I can fix this between me and you!"

Rosalie got up from the bed and began pacing angrily. I wasn't sure if she was supposed to be doing that in her condition, but I couldn't exactly stop her. She was on a rampage and I knew it was only a matter of minutes before all hell broke loose. I sat up and crossed my legs on the bed, facing her.

"Why the fuck are you just sitting there? Haven't you taken enough from me, Bella? I had to deal with all your shit when Edward first left and Alice and I saw how that broke you, yet you still went back to Edward. Why do you just keep hitting yourself when you're down? ANSWER ME, BELLA? WHY? Then you had to go and punch me? What the fuck is wrong with you! I was trying to protect you!"

I stood up quietly, not answering any of her questions. I stood in front of her and placed my hands on both of her shoulders, stopping her pacing to get her to look at me.

"Get your fucking hands off me," she yelled while trying to thrash away from me. I held firm and looked at her in the eyes.

"GET THE FUCK OFF OF ME! WHAT ARE YOU DEAF? FUCK OFF!" She started turning violently from me. I continued my hold and pulled her body in close to me. Rosalie protested and began hitting my back. I knew that she wasn't putting her full weight into me because of my pregnancy.

"Rosalie," I whispered and that was all it took. She began to cling to me harshly while I slid our body down to the ground. She sobbed violently into my shirt and tried to expel all the anger and sadness for the loss of her baby through her tears. Rosalie clutched at my small frame until she lay silent in my arms.

I rubbed her back while the tears fell down my face along with hers. I had never seen her like this before. It was the true meaning of a bond between mother and child. She fell asleep curled on the floor shortly after her outburst and I grabbed Emmett from the kitchen to put her to bed. While he was laying his wife to sleep, I walked in and stood next to Edward at the kitchen table.

I leaned into his side while he put one arm around my waist. I was emotionally drained and upset for Rosalie and Emmett. They deserved to be parents more than anyone else in the world. I was grateful that Alice and Jasper had left early with Tyler in tow. I didn't need to deal with her shit too.

Edward looked up at me while I tried to put a fake smile on my face. I knew that he felt the same pain as I did. I'm glad that Emmett didn't see what I had to see. It would have broken him.

I sighed in Edward's arms while he shifted his grasp on my waist tighter. In that one action, he told me all he needed to. He reached his other arm over and patted my small bump lovingly. That's when it all hit me. I wrapped my arms around Edward's neck and cried into his shoulder while he stayed sitting with his arms now around my back. He rubbed small circles, like he often did with my stomach, onto my back. I placed my hot cheek on his cool neck while the tears soaked his shoulder. Edward tried to soothe me before I stood up in his arms and straightened myself out.

"UGHH," I yelled. "This is fucking bullshit," I said while wiping the tears from my face. I exhaled and tried to stop myself from crying. "Things like this shouldn't happen to people like them."

"I know. It's unfair, but that's how life works sometimes. Makes you really appreciate what you have, huh?"

I nodded while looking up at the ceiling. It was an old trick I used to keep the tears from flowing freely. "I just keep thinking about how bad it'll be for Rosalie when Alice's baby is born, or ours. It will just kill her, Edward."

His grasp on my waist tightened as he contemplated my statement. After a few moments, he spoke clearly. "I don't think she will. I think she will be happy for both of us. Rosalie had never been the one to hurt someone just because she didn't have what they did. I know it'll be hard, but she will be happy for us, I know she will."

"I hope so," I sighed.

"I think we should get out of here, babe. Give them some space?" Edward said with concern.

"Yeah, let's go." We yelled out to Emmett that we were leaving and grabbed our keys to head out the front door.

The month quickly turned into July while Edward and I got to know each other better. He was now officially moved in, although not many of his possessions were in the house. He always said that he loved the house the way it was and that it didn't matter that his furniture was in here. All that mattered to him was that we were all living together, as a family. I called him a liar and that's what began the tickle fight.

We were very much in love and learning new things every day. It had been a long time in between when we were together last and almost everything was brand new again. We talked constantly about everything and anything. It was nice just to spend time with him which was a rarity in our situation to begin with.

Gracie loved being with both her parents, as she often told us. She was beginning to catch on with our different styles of parenting and trying to manipulate us against each other. I'm sure it was unintentional, but I wouldn't put it past her. She would ask me for something and when I said no, she would turn to Edward. Edward, being the man that he is, couldn't say no to his 'baby girl' if he tried. That was something that we had to nip in the butt pretty quickly, but all in all, everything was working smoothly.

I was now at twelve weeks and half-way through July. It was hot and the sun was shining brightly considering that it was Seattle. I usually found myself taking breaks from work to spend time with Gracie at the park. Edward, for the time being, had stabilized hours from work and was usually home around dinner time. I was still working at home, avoiding Alice as much as possible.

Alice seemed to have gotten worse as she neared her due date. She was cranky and snapped often. Jasper, on more than one occasion, had to take a break from his household to escape to ours with Tyler. It just wasn't safe with him there and her being that late into pregnancy. Edward voiced his concern that night with how I felt about sharp knives at nine months pregnant. I told him to watch his private areas because I was bound to be uncomfortable that late in. Mysteriously, all our knives went missing the next day.

She continued to call and I continued to hang up. I knew I couldn't avoid Alice for long, but the stunts that she pulled at Rosalie's made me want to bitch slap her. I'm sure it was illegal to do that somewhere. I wanted to be there when she had her child, but I just couldn't ignore the fact that she hurt me and could have prevented a beautiful relationship. She seemed to feel guilty, but I just wasn't convinced that she felt she was wrong.

Rosalie had a hard time recovering from her miscarriage. It was a rough time for her and Emmett and they ended up having to go to therapy for it. They are still healing, but they both agreed that this brought them together and made them stronger in their relationship and their families. They were going to try again as soon as they got the go-ahead from Rosalie's doctor.

It was a Friday night in the Cullen – Swan household, and all was quiet. Gracie had been put to bed with little protest and I was in bed with my beautiful boyfriend, Dr. Edward Cullen himself. We usually spend this time talking to each other and enjoying one another's company. I had never been this happy before, especially now that I had my family all together and a new baby on the way.

Edward took his usual position on the bed with his head resting lightly on my chest and his hands on my stomach.

I looked down at him and laughed. Edward tensed and I could feel the scowl on his face through my skin. "What is so funny, Bells?" he asked lightly.

"You," I smiled.

"What about me?" Edward asked while continuing the light circles on my small bump.

"What are you waiting for down there?" I asked him while my fingers continued through his silky hair.

"I just don't want to miss anything. What if say, we were having sex, and I missed the baby's first kick? Then what?" He smirked.

I smacked his head playfully while I analyzed his joke. Edward and I had fooled around a little more since the first time that we had, but hadn't gotten to sex. It was fine with me because I did enjoy just learning things about him and gaining our trust with each other back, but I was beginning to go crazy with all the hormones. I wanted in his pants about ninety-five percent of the time. I was curious to see if he was just as affected, but I was too afraid to ask him.

"Bella," Edward asked while turning around and propping himself up on his elbows. "Can I maybe take you out on a date?"

My smile stretched to reach both sides of my face while I grinned contently at him. "Of course, Edward. I would love that! What do you want to do?"

"Uh-uh," he mumbled while kissing my stomach. "It's a surprise. I'll get my parents to watch Gracie tomorrow night and we can go out then. Does that work?"

"Sounds good," I said while I tilted his chin up and bent down for a kiss. It was soft and gentle, but I was dying to get into the possessive side of Edward that I loved so much. He continued to kiss me gently while I tried to push my body into his. It was evident he was just as turned on as I was, but seemed to be fighting with himself. I licked his bottom lip to ask for entrance for my tongue, just as his will seemed to cave.

He flipped my body onto my back and began to kiss me passionately while running his hands up my sides. I kissed him back with just as much enthusiasm, as my fingers wove into his hair. Edward slid his hands up to ghost along my chest as he broke the kiss quickly. I could still feel the tingles that his hands had left on my skin. My body was aflame and wanting. I wondered if it was still possible to feel this way after so many years.

"I want you just as badly, Bella. You have no idea," he whispered against the skin. "I just want to wait a little longer. I want to make this perfect for us. Our relationship means so much to me that I don't want to fuck this up."

I sighed as I tried to calm my body down. "I understand, Edward. I promise to behave myself."

"Good." He chuckled. He kissed my forehead and laid down on his back while my head found a comfortable spot on his chest. I snuggled into him and we both said goodnight before falling into a deep sleep.

"_Bella, baby, can you hear me?" a soft voice asked from beneath the fog. Is that Edward? Oh god, I am so tired. All I wanted to do was get back to him, but my body just wouldn't allow it. _

"_What's happening?" he yelled. "What's happening to my wife?" Wife? I was so confused and groggy that I couldn't get my brain to reach out to him. All I wanted to do was touch him._

"_She's losing a lot of blood, son." Carlisle's voice filled through the air. "You need to leave the room while we try to control all of this." _

"_You have to save her, Dad! I need her. I can't be without her, please." Edward pleaded. What the hell is going on? "Save her and the baby, Dad!"_

"_I'll do the best I can, son. I love her, too, remember?"_

_I heard footsteps out the door while all the commotion continued. _

"_Scalpel?" someone yelled in front of me. I couldn't see what was going on, but I could feel all the pain. It felt like my stomach was being torn open while I was still conscious. The pain was excruciating. Then, out of the fog, I heard the most beautiful noise. _

_It sounded like an angel answering my prayers in the form of my sweet child. Their lungs were strong and healthy, and for the moment, the pain disappeared. I could hear the baby being taken away and disconnected from my body. I wanted to scream for them to bring it back. I didn't even know what it was yet. I couldn't live without my baby. _

"_It's a girl, Carlisle. The nurses are going to make sure she's okay while we take care of Bella. You are family, so you need to leave. I'm sorry," the doctor said. I heard a strangled sob which I assumed came from Carlisle as they continued to work on my body._

"_We're losing her!" the same doctor yelled. It all faded away into darkness while I dreamed of the day I would see my baby again._

I woke up with a start and a cold sweat covering my body. My hand was clutching my chest as I tried to get my breathing back in order. I was back in my bedroom, just as I had been a few moments ago. What the hell just happened?

Edward reached up and touched my face with concern. "Bella? Is everything okay? Is it the baby?"

I remembered my dream and reached my hand to touch my small bump. It was still there and I sighed a huge breath of relief.

I looked over to Edward, still gasping. "I don't know."

* * *

**Disclaimer: S. Meyer owns all things Twilight. I own a breaded chicken sub from Mr. Sub with way too much lettuce on it. This story is a DevonAshleigh original and cannot be plagiarized or copied without specific written consent from me. Copyright 2010 DevonAshleigh.**

**A/N: Here's the next installment! I usually send out my teasers the night before that I actually post which is kinda lame but that's what it usually comes to. I know that most of my chapters say this, but I really had no fucking idea what to write for this one. My characters write themselves so that is how this chapter played out. I hope you like it! **

**LittleMissInnocence, you dirty ratbag, I love you and thank you for being my BBFL (Best Beta For Life). You own me...in a sexual way. That is all.**

**I got an astounding number of reviews last chapter and I think it was due to my teaser bribe..so let's continue with that! Teaser, teaser, teaser. I've already started the next chapter so make sure to review! I've already picked out the sex for the baby, but I still need names! Is it a girl? Is it?...**

**Looooveee! xoxox.**

**Ps- I love the song You've got the Love by Florence and the Machine. Listen to it and think of me and my beta...she deserves some love too.**


	15. Chapter 14 Syndicate

**Before the Worst  
**_**Chapter 14- Syndicate**_

_Don't know what you're made of_

_Till the one thing that you want_

_To come in with the dawn and suddenly changes_

_Monday, syndicate meets everyone the same_

_But all we've lost to the flame_

_Listen to me now_

_Baby close your eyes_

_Don't open till the morning light_

_Don't ever forget_

_We haven't lost it all yet_

_All we know for sure_

_**Is all that we are fighting for**_

_**Baby don't forget**_

_**We haven't lost it all yet**_

_Someday when this is over_

_We may still have no answer_

_**For now it's when I hold ya**_

_**We are closer, we are closer**_

_**We are closer, we are closer**_

I urged Edward to go to bed after the horrific dream. There was no use in both of us being tired and cranky in the morning. I was subjected to pace around the living room downstairs until I was sure that my feet had made indents in the wood.

What did the dream mean? Was it some kind of premonition power like Phoebe in _Charmed _because that's psycho and if I'm losing it, now's not a good time. I have a job and Edward and Gracie to take care of. Plus, I thought that you couldn't get premonitions for your own future. I knew that I was getting a little off topic, but this was a serious situation.

I heard the telltale signs of Edward's loud footsteps down the stairs and I took a seat on the chair with my head in my hands. I saw his feet walk over to me and stop to rest his hand on my head with his fingers in my hair.

"What's wrong, baby?" he asked.

"I think I'm a witch," I said unsteadily. I was trying to crack a joke, but this was anything but funny.

Edward could tell the nervousness in my voice, so he didn't laugh at my weak attempt at a joke. He sat down beside me and held me closely while I exhaled a shaky breath of his cologne back into his chest.

"Is it something you wanted to talk about?" he asked.

I shook my head against his shirt. "I am just being ridiculous. You know, baby worries," I lied. I was glad he couldn't see my face right now. I was always the worst liar.

"Don't worry so much, Bells. You have done all this before and now we are doing it together. You'll be showing me up in no time." I laughed even though it didn't dissipate my fears in the slightest.

We sat silently for a moment before he spoke again. "I think it's time to put the baby to bed now."

I smiled while lifting my head to look up at him. "I think so, too."

"Right, well, if we're in agreement," Edward said while he picked me up bridle style. I squealed slightly at the sudden movement before quieting myself to prevent from waking Grace. He bent down to kiss me as we reached the landing and put his full emotion in it. While still holding me he whispered, "I love you, Isabella."

He always had a way of making me forget everything with just the sound of his voice. "I love you too, Edward Cullen."

I fell asleep that night in Edward's arms with a clouded mind, but a dreamless sleep… for the time being.

I awoke to the sound of laughing downstairs in the kitchen. I stretched out in the bed and looked over to Edward's empty side and felt the cold air occupy the sheets. He had been gone for awhile and was most likely the cause of my daughter's giggles downstairs.

I greeted the baby with a soft rub while I continued to hold my stomach and glide down the stairs. As I reached the kitchen, I was assaulted with the smell of pancakes and the sight of flour thrown everywhere. It looked like two young children were trying to make breakfast for their parents, while one of them was a fully grown adult with two children of his own.

With my eyes wide and a skeptical expression on my face, I ventured into the unknown that was currently my kitchen. "I'm scared to ask what happened here."

Edward turned around with Gracie in his arms while flipping the pancakes. He saw my hand placement and smiled. I knew he wanted to touch me, but he wouldn't risk it with Gracie in his arms.

"MORNING, MOMMY!" Gracie yelled. Edward put his finger in his ear to stop the high decimal of her screams, but was a millisecond too late.

"Morning, baby girl," I said while I walked over to her and Edward and kissed her on the cheek. Edward frowned down at me and I chuckled softly before kissing him on the lips.

"Ewwww," Gracie said before turning to her father. "Daddy, can we put blueberries in them?" she asked while poking him in the eye.

"Gracie! What is up with you and my eye?" Edward asked. He rubbed it while nodding to her in regards to the blueberries. I laughed in adoration from the sidelines while I grabbed the butter and syrup from the fridge to set it out on the island.

As I was setting them down, I had an idea. "Edward?" I asked while turning to him.

"Yes, baby?" he responded with his gaze still set excessively on the pancakes.

"I wanted to know if you could watch Gracie this afternoon."

He put Grace down on a seat on the island and placed the plate of pancakes beside her. I worked quietly with him while biting my lip, awaiting his answer. He turned the griddle off and waited until Grace was eating happily, before turning to me.

"Did I do something wrong?" he asked with his gaze to the floor and his ankles crossed.

"God, no, Edward, I wanted to go shopping for some baby stuff," I replied while crossing the room to wrap my hands around his back.

"Don't you want me to come?" Edward asked sadly. The look on his face broke my heart, but I didn't know how to tell him that I wanted to go shopping for baby clothes. My dream shook me so infinitely, that some of it must have been true. For my sake, and my baby's, I hoped that not all of it was true. I liked the idea of having another girl and I knew that Edward wouldn't care either way. I could buy the major baby stuff and sneak in some girl clothes as well.

I gave most of my baby stuff away when Rosalie had her children. I didn't see the need for it at the time, since I didn't see myself having children in the near future. Boy was I wrong. I couldn't ask for any of the stuff back because some of it their children were still using and they were going to try again, so I had to start looking for new stuff. It would be nice because I wouldn't have to worry about hand-me-downs, but it was going to be an expense.

In the mix of all of this, I couldn't tell Edward about buying things for a baby girl. I always had a feeling that I would have a girl and this dream was extremely vivid. If I was right, I could keep all of it and if I was wrong, I could pretend like I never bought it. The only problem was, if I tried to explain it to Edward, he would demand I go to the doctor right away. There was also the possibility of him thinking I was crazy and taking me over to the local asylum. I had seen way too many horror movies about that particular place to ever be able to set foot inside one. The point is, that he would worry and that would just be unnecessary. That's why the look on his face right now is going to break my heart.

"No, baby, I want you to come. I just thought you and Gracie could have some bonding time while I had some mommy and baby bonding time. I won't get the baby for long in here before it comes out wailing for you." I winked. He smirked at me, oblivious to my low attempts at flirting to cover up my actions. I wrapped my arms tighter around him and gave him a reassuring squeeze. "Besides, I won't be gone for long and I'm only out to buy a couple little things for the baby. I won't be buying any of the good stuff without you, just the necessities."

"Like what?" he asked while glancing over my shoulder at Grace. Always the watchful father.

"Like diapers and bottles, that kind of stuff." I kissed him on the lips. "I won't be long, is that okay?"

"As long as you promise not to buy anything good while I'm not there. I want to be a part of all of it," he mumbled against my lips.

"Of course."

"Okay," he replied unsteadily. He broke away from me with a sigh and ran his hands through his hair.

I wrinkled my nose at him before asking, "What's wrong baby?"

"Don't you want to ask one of the girls to join you? I bet Alice will die when she hears that you didn't take her with you."

I glared at him. "You, of all people, want me to forgive her just to go fucking shopping?"

"ShMommy smaid a blad wood!" Gracie yelled with a mouth full of pancake.

"Pot, meet kettle," I mumbled under my breath. My own daughter was yelling at me for dropping an f-bomb, yet she was talking with her mouth full.

"Yes she did, baby. Don't ever repeat what Mommy just said. She's a bad girl," Edward said while winking at me. If I wasn't so pissed off at him, I would have let my body do the natural reaction that it gives off when Edward talks like that. Turns out, anger does prevail over panty soaking.

"Bella, baby, it's just shopping. I'm not condoning what she did on any level, but she's due soon. Don't you want to sort this entire thing out so that your niece or nephew can come into the world without a cat fight?" Oh, he was digging himself a hole here. I couldn't believe what I was hearing.

"I understand your concern, Edward, but this isn't about a silly little tiff. It was about Alice always getting her way with EVERYTHING. She meddles and sticks her nose into other's people's business, when no one asked for it. I never told her to protect me and I'm not going to forgive her for what she did so that the tension will be eased. I will be there for the birth of my niece or nephew, which is without question, but I won't forgive her for convenience. That's not how this works. She will either learn not to do this ever again, or she will not be involved in my life any more than she has to be." I fumed. "I understand that she is your sister, but she's not mine. She's my partner in my business, that's it."

He huffed lightly. "I know that's not how it is, Bella. You guys have been friends for so long that there is no way that this is the end."

"I hope not, but if that's what it comes to, then that's what it comes to. I won't have her doing that any more, Edward. Don't you understand that?" I didn't wait for his answer. I was way too pissed off at his ranting. How could he defend a person that tried to break us up?

I rushed up the stairs to get ready. This shopping trip couldn't have come at a better time. I needed some space to sort this out. Could I really forgive Alice? I mean, it's not as if she hadn't said she was sorry. I accepted her apology, but I couldn't accept the doubt creeping in my mind that she may have not thought she was wrong. How could she be sorry if she thought she did nothing wrong. The tears began to prick in my eyes as I counted every step and gripped the banister tightly. The tears were now blurring my vision and I cursed the hormones that made me so unpredictable.

"You forgave Rosalie, Bella. Why not Alice?" Edward yelled from the bottom of the stairs.

I whipped my head around to him, red with anger. "Edward, I have not fucking forgave Rosalie! She had lost her baby. What was I supposed to do, hear the news and stay inside and ignore it? Tell her 'Hey Rosalie, sorry about the news but you're a bitch so I can't help you.'? It didn't matter what she did at that moment!" I wiped the traitorous tears from my face and stomped up the last two steps. "I can't do this, Edward. I'm leaving to go shopping now. Tell Grace that I love her."

I got ready quickly in a pair of my loser fitting jeans and a black v-neck shirt with a bow under the bust. It accentuated my small bump and I loved the feeling of it against my skin. It was hot outside and I wanted to make sure I kept comfortable. I put on minimal makeup and put my hair in a ponytail before yelling out a goodbye to my daughter and heading out the door. I didn't need to start another argument with Edward. I didn't know what got into him today, but I wasn't happy about it. I hoped our date tonight would go better. That is, if it was still on after this afternoon's episode.

I walked aimlessly around the stores, actually upset that I couldn't have Alice or Rosalie with me. I knew I needed to be strong, but it was hard to do this without them. I had them there for everything during my first pregnancy in the absence of Edward. I walked around the stores with them, while they picked out everything and asked for my opinion. I was glad that I had Edward now, of course, but it just wasn't the same without your best friends. I was as sad as they were that this experience couldn't be shared.

I picked up some bottles, pacifiers, plain onesies, diapers and other little things, while steering clear of any temptation for buying the bigger objects. I knew Edward would be even angrier with me if I brought home a crib or a changing table. Speaking of anger, what was up with Edward this morning? It was almost like he was trying to pick a fight with me. I always knew that he was forgiving in nature, but today was ridiculous.

Unless….

No, there was no way she would do that

Who am I kidding? Of course she would do that.

I stopped dead in my tracks at the thought of Alice begging her brother to talk to me. I knew that when she gave him that pouty lip and those big, baby eyes, that he would never be able to resist. This was a new level of low.

I dialed the phone and waited for his voice to pick up.

"Hello?" he asked, a little out of breath.

"Did Alice call Edward this morning, Jasper?"

"Christmas Bells?"

"No, the Grinch. Answer my question, Jasper. Did Alice call Edward this morning?"

"Aw, shit," he drawled. "I hate it when the Grinch comes out to play."

"Jasper, you have no idea how much I am not in the mood right now. Everyone keeps staring at my belly and I'm really craving a taco right now, so spill!" I paced, pretending to look at those baby backpack carriers, even though I would never be caught dead in one.

"Calm down, Bella. You're going to make yourself go into labour," he teased.

"I'm barely thirteen weeks! Jasper, you need to tell me now, please. I got into a fight with Edward after he tried to push me into talking to Alice. I can't handle this right now and I need to know if she said something to him," I pleaded.

He sighed dramatically before continuing, "I think I heard her on the phone this morning, yes. I don't know who she was talking to though, but I can tell you, I did hear the puppy dog voice from the other room."

"Thanks, Jazz," I said while picking up my bags and handed the cashier my credit card.

"Bella, you need to forgive her. She's driving me up the wall and she's really upset. You have no idea how sorry she is."

"Yeah, she seemed really sorry when she was lying to me and Edward. And also, she may be sorry, but does she think she's wrong? Is she regretful?" I asked making my way to the car.

I took the silence on the other end as a no. "That's what I thought. Thanks again, Jasper. I'll talk to you later."

"Wait, Bella! Please say you'll at least consider talking to her, if only for a few seconds. Please, for me?"

"Fine, but don't expect a Christmas present."

I heard him mumble a quick prayer to God as we said our goodbyes and hung up. I really felt bad for the poor guy. Tyler wasn't much of a wingman to help him out with Alice.

I walked into the doors well after dark, not even considering our date anymore. He had obviously made it clear that he was pissed off at me, and didn't call me at all through the night. I also knew his little secret about a whiney phone call from a certain mystery sister. It wasn't fair that she was playing us on both sides. When will she ever learn?

I got home full expecting to apologize to Edward for yelling at him. It was inappropriate and I knew better than to lay the blame on my hormones. It wasn't completely them. I also expected an apology from Edward as well. He didn't tell me that Alice had called him and continued to fight with me even though I was clear in my decision. We both had a lot of forgiving to do and the date would have to wait until another time.

What I found at home however, was not what I was expecting. I walked up to the door and saw a note taped to it.

_Bella, _

_Follow the notes._

_Love, _

_Edward_

I glared at the note. How dare he have a fight with me and then expect to order me around? I looked at the note again and noticed the bottom with a reluctant laugh.

_Ps- Don't scowl, just do it._

He knew me better than I thought.

I pulled the note off the door and unlocked the front door with my key. As I opened the door, I gasped slightly. It was beautiful. There were rose petals all lining up a trail in the foyer while candles were lit all amongst them on the floor and the tables. The entire room was brightened just by the proximity and amount of candles that were placed. It was clear that Grace was no longer home because this dream was still intact.

I put my keys down in the bowl on the side table by the door like I did every day and that's when I noticed the second note.

_Bella,_

_"Love cures people - both the ones who give it and the ones who receive it."_

_When we met, I noticed your beauty immediately. When we got to know each other, I noticed your intelligence immediately. When we were together, I noticed I loved you immediately._

_Cheers to the first time I saw the future love of my life…with a drink in hand._

_Love, _

_Edward_

I picked up the martini glass filled with a pink liquid. I took a sip, greedily, before noticing another note taped to the stem of the glass.

_Nice try, it's a virgin. Join me in the bedroom._

I couldn't have taken the smile off my face if I wanted to as I made up the steps two at a time to our bedroom. I was immediately assaulted with the smell of vanilla and a fresh change of comfortable clothes on the bed. It was like he anticipated my every need.

I saw the same pattern of cliché rose petals thrown across the bed and floor, as the trail led to the bathroom. The large, Jacuzzi tub was filled with bath salts and bubbles as I saw another note taped to the vanity mirror. I pulled it off excitedly.

_Bella,_

_"I never knew how to worship until I knew how to love."_

_The bathtub is filled with your favourite bubble bath, my love. It was always a scent that made me think of home. Please relax and take your bath and then join me in the kitchen._

I stripped down to bare flesh before jumping greedily into the tub. It felt heavenly on my body and I couldn't imagine how he thought of all of this. It was incredibly sweet and very Edward-like, but it seemed like more. I knew he loved me and that he always had, but there was always a nagging feeling in the back of my mind that he loved me simply out of habit. I would always be the one that got away and that he could return to on a whim.

This whole act completely destroyed those thoughts.

The man I loved was setting this whole thing up for me to show me that he loved me. It was beautiful and sparked a little fear in me. The commitment was high to our children and to their futures with us, but to each other, it was never set in stone. We weren't married, nor did we discuss to be married. He could leave at any time, just like he did before.

I guess that was part of the whole trust issue that we were working on. I knew now that he wanted to be here. The notes, the reminders and the time he took to set this entire night up, showed me that. I just had to have a little faith. This could be an exciting and incredible ride with my children and the man I loved. If that didn't scare someone, they weren't normal.

By the time this thought process was done, I was thoroughly pruned and relaxed. The scent of vanilla always brought me back to a peaceful place. It comforted me and relaxed me to the point of falling asleep. I couldn't do that now. I had a man waiting for me.

I stepped out and hit the cold air with a slight shiver. I rushed to get into the clothes he had picked out while I cursed myself for taking so much time enjoying my bath. All I wanted to do was get back to Edward and show him that I felt the same way. I loved him, and it was never said enough. I had to change that.

I got down the steps to see the candles still lit and the path continuing to the kitchen. In there was the table set for two with candlesticks and two plates with silver coverings ontop. He had obviously thought this through, down to the detail of keeping the food warm and the water in the bath the perfect temperature. He had no idea when I was going to be home. This was incredible.

I walked over to my side of the table and saw another note attached to the top of the silver covering. I was slightly disappointed not to see Edward here waiting for me, and I visibly pouted before continuing to read what I hoped was the final letter, leading me to Edward.

_Bella,_

_"The richest love is that which submits to the arbitration of time."_

_Look up._

It didn't end with a signature in love and I was left confused by that and the quote until I saw a sparkling god standing in front of me. He was dressed casually in a black button down and a pair of jeans, but he looked positively sinful.

I smiled brightly at him before walking over and giving him a huge hug.

"Thank you so much, Edward. I love it and I'm so sorry about today. I freaked out over nothing and –"

Edward cut me off by pulling me back and crashing his lips to mine. They told me everything I needed to hear in that simple, passionate gesture. It was forgiveness, sincerity and guilt all in one. I kissed him back as our lips molded together only breaking for the necessity of breath.

"I know, baby. I'm sorry too."

I pulled back with his arm around my stomach and my back flush to his chest facing the table where our romantic meal was still being held.

"This is incredible, Edward," I whispered. "How did you do all of this?"

"I did it this afternoon. I dropped off Gracie with my parents, who were begging me to bring her by early by the way. I set it all up while you were gone," he said nonchalantly like this was just another part of his day. "I just wanted to show you how much I love you."

We turned into another mess of flailing limbs as I flipped myself around suddenly and pulled his lips down to mine in a searing kiss. I wove my hands through his hand while he moaned into my mouth. It was the most beautiful way to spend our time together. I knew right there how I wanted to show him my appreciation.

I continued to kiss him as we moaned together and I panted into his mouth. It had been a long time since we had spent any time just us, let alone letting our hormones run the show.

"Bella, baby? What about the food?" Edward panted against my flush lips.

"Is it rented?" I asked cryptically.

I seemed to be confusing Edward, as he took a few moments to respond. "What? No, of course it's not-"

I plunged my tongue into his mouth as he picked me up by my ass and I wrapped my legs around his waist. I wouldn't be able to do this for long. We were a hot mess as we clawed at each other's bodies hungrily.

"Then fuck the food," I said just before I felt us move towards the staircase to begin my favourite part of the evening. I had been without Edward for too long and all bets were off.

It was time to trust again with everything that I had.

* * *

**Disclaimer: S. Meyers owns all things Twilight. I own a restless sleep due to killing a spider with my Pride and Prejudice. It was a stupid sacrifice. I love that damn book. This story is not to be plagiarized or copied without written consent by me to do so. Copyright 2010 DevonAshleigh.**

**A/N: **So this note took me a good ten minutes to write in between belting out "Touch my Hand" by David Archuleta. It's a guilty pleasure. Don't judge me.

Work life has been nuts as well as RL, so sorry this update was a little later than my normal ambitiousness. This was at peak procrastination. I still only managed to go like five days...it's disgusting. Plus, I'm SOOOOOO SORRY. I'm an epic fail at responding to reviews this week. I didn't respond to any! I feel guilty since I did promise you a teaser for reviews again last week, but I promise to do an extra long one for next time if you review!

Anywho. You know the drill. This special section goes out to my fantabulousnesseseseseses beta, LittleMissInnocence. Between the brownies and the black olive fiasco of 2010, I don't even know why you stick around with me. I've been putting dollars into my "Ohio Adventure" jar! You'll be sorry when I show up at your door step demanding cookies. Love you! Extra hugs and kisses ...in a sexual way.

Okay, so enough with the A/N. No one cares! I'm going to get clean before I get dirty again and smell like popcorn for the rest of my life. I hope you enjoy and your reviews are what motivates me! More baby names, you slackers! I can't do this shit on my own. It's a dictatorship!

Love you! xoxox.

Ps- Listen to the songs, you whores! I know that no one listens to those things.


	16. Chapter 15 Red Rag Top

**Before the Worst  
**_**Chapter 15- Red Rag Top**_

Well the very first time her mother met me

**Her green eyed girl had been a mother to be, for two weeks.**

**I was out of a job and she was in school,**

**And life was fast and the world was cruel,**

**We were young and wild, we decided not to have a child**

So we did what we did and we tried to forget

And we swore up and down, there would be no regrets in the morning light,

But on the way home that night

On the back of that red rag top

She said please don't stop

Loving me

**I was stopped at a red light just yesterday,**

**Beside a young girl in a cabriolet and her eyes were green,**

**And I was in an old scene**

**I was back in that red rag top**

**On the day she stopped**

**Loving me **

I couldn't believe that I was finally going to do this with Edward Cullen. I was finally going to have…sex. I know it wasn't our first time by any means, but this was different. It wasn't in anger or in hurt, it was in love. We loved each other, and instead of hiding the evidence of our passion under my shirt, I could open up and express it freely with him. It was terrifying to be giving that part of myself to Edward again, but at the same time, it was magnificent and raw, primal even.

I kissed his mouth like I was a dying woman eating my final meal. It felt like I was kissing so hard, that I would leave bruises on our lips. He grew ferocious and continued to claw his way at my body, not really forcing any action. He backed me up slowly against the wall in the foyer, not being able to contain his desire to get us fully up the stairs. As my back hit the wall, it made a small thud and Edward broke the kiss to look at me with worry. It hadn't hit me that hard at all. The sound was amplified because we were used to hearing only our pants and moans.

I looked him in the eye as he took in my body with worry. I was still attached to him by the waist and my wet core was getting desperate. I could feel the wetness beginning to coat the inner thighs of my sweatpants, completely destroying my panties. I made a point to quirk an eyebrow at him and make a forceful tug on his hair. This obviously showed Edward that I was fine and his mouth was attached to mine in a deeper connection. The ache in my body left me clinging for friction. I was embarrassingly rubbing against the bulge in his pants, which I could only slightly feel due to our angle.

I just wanted him to take me, then and there, so I could tell the world properly that I was Edward Cullen's now and forever. It didn't matter to me that there were no wedding rings or exchange of last names. I had my beautiful daughter and another baby on the way, while I shared this beautiful relationship with their father. My family was content and full. We were taking it slow, getting to know one another. I had learned more about Edward than I ever had in the past few weeks that he lived here, and for that, I was grateful. The accident brought us closer together and helped me learn to trust him again and hopefully, help dissipate his fears as well. It was time to make us one again and share that connection that I had craved for so long. It was time to jump blindly and hope to God that when I fell, Edward would catch me.

I tugged roughly on the buttons of his shirt while he continued to ravage me. He sucked on my neck and my collarbones while I pulled the offending fabric off of him. His moans and pants were more persistent, as he ripped the fabric of my shirt off me in one savage rip. We stopped our kissing and panted while never breaking eye contact. I saw the black of his irises cover the green I loved so much and it caused a low growl to emit from my chest. I knew I was going to be sore tomorrow.

He swung my body from the front of his chest to his back as he carried me up the stairs, both shirtless and wanting. I clung to him for dear life, knowing the consequences if I fell down the stairs. That was something I didn't ever think I could recover from.

He placed me gently on the bed in our room, while we knelt on our opposite sides, facing each other. Edward took his time undressing the last pieces of clothes from my body. It seemed that as he took of my bra and kissed every piece of my skin, that he was cherishing this too. For both of us, it meant so much more than sex.

As he removed my bra, he kissed my neck, collarbones and the stretch of skin between my breasts. He took a rosy nipple lovingly into his mouth as he spent attention on the other with his hands. It was slow and gentle and very Edward, as he kissed down my ribs and placed an open mouth kiss on my small bump. He fingered the waist of my sweatpants, before taking them off one leg at a time. Tenderly, he kissed every patch and scar on my skin until I felt as though he could draw a map from memory. It was taunting me in ways that I never thought possible. I wanted him to just take me and everything I had to offer him. It was his from the day I was born anyways, but the sheer joy of his loving touch, made me want to beg him to just kiss my body for the rest of his life.

Just when I thought I couldn't take any more, he pulled my panties down my legs causing the fabric to brush briefly against the tender flesh. I gasped and moaned simultaneously, as he placed one finger quickly where the garment had brushed.

"Edward, more, please. I don't think I can take it."

He chuckled softly before kissing the skin on my pelvic bone. "I haven't even started with you yet, Isabella."

I shivered at the use of my full name in desire. Edward had always called me that during anything sexual and it sent my body into flames. I was so hot and wound so tight, I thought I was going to explode from the slightest touch.

Edward shifted from his position on his knees from my side to in between my legs. He lay on his stomach leaving me with a perfect view of what he would do next, or at least what I hoped he would do next. While continuing to torment me into a sexual coma, he kissed my inner thighs and every place in that area except the one place that I wanted his kiss the most. He continued the assault with his lips and occasionally bring his hands in to stroke or put gentle pressure on my clit, still never making any movement to continue the actual action.

This continued for some time, and I was ready to jump up and cut off my favourite appendage if he didn't give me what I wanted. At the last possible second, Edward quickly turned his head from my thighs to in between my legs and put his tongue flat against my nub in small circles. I cried out as I came hard and fast. All the teasing really had wound me up and Edward was unbelievably smug after that.

I panted heavily as I came down from my high, to see Edward staring at me intently with a smirk plastered on his face. I scowled at him playfully. "Are you just going to lie there, or are you going to fuck me already?"

A look of shock passed across his face and I reached down between our bodies to grab his dick in my palm and give it a gentle squeeze. I saw his eyes roll closed as he opened his mouth slightly and moaned. I stopped the touching all together and waited until his eyes snapped back to mine to continue the process.

After three or four squeezes and the moans turned into snarls, I stopped and looked at him again. "Not so nice now, is it?" I teased. He put on a dramatic face of shock before flipping our naked bodies over and leaving me straddling him.

"You'll pay for that, Cullen!" he bellowed before snaking his arm around the back of my head and pulling me down to his lips for a searing kiss. I wanted to break the kiss and call him on his mistake, but I was so caught up in the moment and didn't want to ruin our night together.

Edward didn't waste his time in entering me slowly, and with a quick thrust, he was completely sheathed in me. We both moaned appreciatively at the new feeling, before continuing our motions. I met him at each thrust, my hips swirling as he touched new depths inside me. We were like a well oiled machine, still amazing in its older years.

"Oh god, Bella. I've waited for this for so long," Edward moaned loudly.

I felt the coil inside my stomach begin to tighten and we both knew our release was eminent. This was going to be quick, but well deserved.

"Edward…yes, yes, yes." I groaned unintelligently. He seemed to always make me into a grumble of noises and sounds in times like this.

Edward lifted one of my legs onto his shoulders as he reached deep inside me. In that moment, the coil snapped and I came violently around him. Edward followed a few minutes after, screaming my name into the air.

We lay for a few minutes, still connected, relishing in the intimacy. I reached my hand up to cup his panting cheek as he closed his eyes quietly and leaned into my touch. His hand was in between our bodies, using his hands to rub small circles on my stomach and thighs. It was peaceful and content as well lay together until our pants became shallow, regular breaths.

We didn't need to speak any words as we fell asleep in each other's arms, a tangle of limbs and emotions. It was the first time that I let Edward Cullen truly into my heart. We had known our bodies for years and even our hearts for a brief period as well, but today, our souls recognized one another. I thought I knew of a love so desperate and consuming before when Grace was born, but that didn't touch anything on this kind of experience. I was in so deep that I knew I couldn't let this slip through my fingers again, no matter the cost. My family came first and foremost and that included my true love, Edward Cullen.

As I neared my fourteenth week, and almost two weeks after Alice's due date, we got the call I had been dreading and excited for. On our way out to our date night, Alice had finally gone into labour. As per our birthing plan; it was to me and Jasper in the room with her. I was upset to see that because of our fight, that had changed dramatically. She deserved to have her friends in the room with her at a time like this, but instead, we were squabbling like teenagers fighting over the cutest guy. It was pathetic and beneath us and the fight was sure to end as soon as Alice took the stick out of her ass. There wasn't a big enough clock in the world to countdown the days to that religious event.

As we received the frantic call, we rushed Grace into her car seat and buckled her in.

"Edward, we have to go," I yelled as I watched him triple check her car seat. On most occasions, this act would have been endearing, but not in a rushed environment.

"Oh, shit," Edward yelled while rechecking the car seat again. Gracie giggled from the backseat at her father's actions. "Don't repeat that, Gracie poo. Bad, bad, word," he said as he closed his door and raced over to his side, getting in awkwardly.

"Edward, honey, you're panicking," I said as I looked over at his form, trying to control his breathing in the driver's side. He looked over at me and lifted his hands up. "STOP! If you try to check my seatbelt, Edward Cullen, I'm going to start lifting heavy boxes the minute we get home."

"Right." Edward started the car and left me with a dreading feeling about the minute I go into labour. He wasn't there for it the first time and seeing him like this for his sister's birth, was really making me nervous. Knowing us, he would probably pack up the car and forget all about me to leave me to give birth on the kitchen floor. I know it happens in _I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant_, but I couldn't do that shit. Where did the placenta go? I cringed disgustingly and tried to shake off the overwhelming urge to Google it.

Edward drove slightly over the speed limit on the way to the hospital, which was ridiculously fast considering the usual speed he drove with Grace in the car. He was always overly cautious, but today, he was panicked and anxious. I had no idea what the hell was getting into him.

As we pulled into the hospital, I got Gracie out of her car seat before Edward could triple check it to make sure it was undone. Edward was fiddling with his keys, making no move to help me pull Grace from the car to the ground. He looked tense and uncomfortable, but I knew it was probably because the mental images of his little sister giving birth.

"Edward?" I asked cautiously.

"Huh," he asked while snapping his gaze up to meet mine.

I held Gracie's hand while her other held her favourite stuffed bear and quirked my brow. "Are you okay?"

He shuffled his feet through the corridors of the hospital. "Oh, yeah, whatever you want, honey."

I rolled my eyes and sighed out loud. I gave Gracie's hand a gentle squeeze as she looked up at me. I smiled and continued our walk to the waiting room, where our family was patiently waiting.

I was still undecided yet if I had forgiven Rosalie. She was still in the dog house for what she attempted to do, but as far as I could tell, she hadn't done anything harmful to our relationship or tried to before the note incident. She had tried to hide the note that Edward had left me, but unsuccessfully did so. I found it, punched her, and wanted that to be the end of it. She had been telling me for years to tell Edward about Gracie. Her motto was always, 'it's just one phone call, Bella'. Had she gone along with it when Alice was meddling? Had Rosalie felt pressured to do what she did, or was it all her idea?

I took a tentative seat beside Rosalie while Edward stared off into the distance beside me. I didn't have time to deal with his issues. This was going to be a long night and I didn't have Grace to distract me. She had already run into the waiting arms of her grandmother and looked ready to settle in for the night on her lap.

I ignored Edward and turned my body towards Rosalie's. I didn't know how to talk to her anymore. It had been over fourteen weeks and she had yet to feel my small bump or share anything about her life with me aside from her miscarriage. She looked ready to talk as she angled her body towards mine at the same time.

"I want to rip out all your hair," I blurted out at her. My gaze was unwavering as she arched one of her perfect brows at me.

"I want to shave off your eyebrow," she answered quickly. I scowled at her angrily.

"I want to spray orange fake tan all over you."

"I want to stab you repeatedly with a safety pin."

"I want to wrap you in bubble wrap and roll you down a hill."

Without breaking our eye contact, we embraced each other roughly through the plastic hospital chairs. I held on tightly to her as I thought internally about how I had begun to forgive. Rosalie had been there for me when I couldn't stop crying to hydrate me so that I could keep my tears flowing. She had been there for me when I couldn't tie my own shoes to do it for me and I, in turn, had been there for her during rough times including her miscarriage. I realize that in love and loss, none of this shit really matters. It was time to stop my crusade against her and learn to heal our friendship. Alice was a whole different story.

Alice had been in labour for hours before we even received a call and was stalled at eight centimeters. Determined to have a natural birth, I left the waiting room to find her sitting on a huge yoga ball rolling around with her hands on her hips to the song "Body Bounce". I wasn't sure if it was more disturbing to have to discuss our friendship with her like this, or the sight of her on that ball.

Jasper was coaching her through her breathing as she wore a custom designed hospital gown. Alice had spent weeks working on that thing when she first found out that she was pregnant. It was custom cut low on the neckline and made sleeveless for easier mobility. I wasn't really sure what she was expected to do with all the 'free arm space' but that's her prerogative. The gown was also a flash of colour and lace as a stylish flair was added to it that screamed Alice.

She noticed me from the doorway immediately. "Hey, Bells! How's it going out there?"

I walked further into the room and took a seat next to her and Jasper. "Don't pretend we're buddy-buddy Alice. It's not going to work and I'm still pissed at you. The only reason why I'm in here is because we all played rock-paper-scissors and I lost."

She smiled through the pain as she continued her deep breathing. "That's okay. It's the fact that you're here and that's all that matters!"

"Whatever, Alice. We need to talk. I'm ready to listen if you're feeling up to talking."

She clapped her hands as the pain was evident on her face. I don't know how she did it. I was screaming bloody murder at the top of my lungs when Grace was born, far from clapping happily. "Oh, Bella! I'm so glad! Come here and we'll sit together." She got up from the ball and waddled over to her bed while Jasper helped her up into it.

I stared at her face while she patted the side of the bed, making my intention to not move very clear. "Okay, fine," she continued. "I just wanted to start off by saying that this pregnancy has made my hormones absolutely insane. I didn't mean to act like such a bitch, but that's the way it came out and I'm sorry, especially for the incident at Rosalie's. It was very uncalled for."

I nodded my head, only half agreeing that it was her pregnancy hormones. If that was her shitty excuse for everything this was not going to go well.

"I'm also sorry for stopping you and Edward from being together. When he came to visit last year during Grace's birthday, he was drunk. I don't mean thoroughly buzzed from a worrisome flight. I mean he was drunk as a skunk out of his mind. I didn't want him coming in there and blowing all of the festivities, so I lied to him to get him to leave. It was wrong, but I thought that in the end it would work. I know you didn't want him to find out about Gracie that way, especially intoxicated and I told him the only thing I could think of to make him leave. I'm so sorry, Bella. I never meant for it to get this far."

She stopped speaking and looked at me thoughtfully. When I realized she was awaiting a response, I started. "Alice, I accept your apology. You saved that day from a real mess and I appreciate it. However, you continued to lie to me when you didn't tell me that it was Edward at the door wanting to come back to me. You lied when you told him I was involved with someone else and never corrected him. You went so far that you recruited Rosalie so that you could keep us away from each other. How the fuck did you ever think that was right?"

Alice looked shocked at my outburst before she scrunched her nose and put a hand on her stomach to calm her temper. "Bella, I did what I thought was right. It was my place to get involved. You are my best friend and he is my brother. You guys may have worked it out now, but what if he leaves again? I can't handle to pick up the pieces."

I was seeing red as I stood up and began pacing. Jasper looked very calm and detached from the situation as he listened to his friend and his wife arguing while holding Alice's hand at her bedside. "YOU THINK IT WAS YOUR PLACE? It's my life, Alice! It is, and always will be, Edward and me in this together! This does not concern you. I appreciate it, more than you know that you were there for me. It takes a true friend and an incredible person to help me like you did. Thank you, sincerely from the bottom of my heart. But Alice, fuck you. You had no right to do what you did!"

"Bella! How can you say that? You honestly think that you two are right together? He leaves, Bella. That's what he does. Edward gets in and when it gets tough, he bails just like he did to me."

"What are you talking about, Alice?"

She wiped a tear from her eye angrily as she stared me down. "Do you honestly think that when he left, he just left you? He walked away from his family and me too, Bella. We were all hurt by it, but we had to take care of you so we couldn't let it get to us. I'm not saying that we are resentful in any way, but I am saying that it wasn't just you that was affected, it was all of us."

I knew this, even back then. I could see it in their faces when they saw how broken I was or how much Gracie looked like Edward. I was too wrapped up in my own problems to comfort them, but I saw it. "I know that, Alice. What do you want me to do? I apologized every single fucking day to you, but that never mattered. You still find a way to bring it up. If you can't get over it then fine, but you need to realize what you did to Edward and I was wrong no matter how good your intentions seemed to be."

She and I took a break from our battle as she breathed through a contraction with Jasper coaxing her the whole way through. It was a nice preview of what I hoped would happen between Edward and me when our little baby was born. Unfortunately, the calmness did not last long as her face contorted with an angry expression and she set her death stare at me.

"GET OUT, BELLA! You have no idea what I've been through! I am NOT apologizing for something I believed that I was right to do. Just, get out and don't come back. It's over; I'm not doing this anymore."

"Alice, I want to work this out, but I can't do it by myself. I apologize for yelling at you and saying some of the things I said to you. I was wrong in being so harsh with you, but I was angry and hurt at what you and Rosalie did. Rosalie and I talked it out, and I want to talk it out with you, but I can't unless you apologize as well. It wasn't just me in the wrong and you hurt me."

"No, I can't. I'm so done right now, Bella. I'm over the apology part. I tried for MONTHS to see you and you wouldn't even give me the time of day. It's too late to work it out. I want you out of my room and out of the hospital. I don't want to see you here when the baby is born-"

"ALRIGHT! THAT'S ENOUGH!" Jasper yelled. I was shocked when I finally heard him get a word in, let alone frustrated and clearly angry Jasper. It startled both Alice and I who honestly, forgot he was in the room. "Alice, I love you but you need to shut up and apologize."

"Jasper! You will not speak to me that way-"

"Shut up, Alice. I will not stand by and let you walk away. I have dealt with the pregnancy hormones and the fits and the cravings for months now. I love you dearly, you are my soul mate and my wife and you are giving me the most precious gift. I am so very thankful to you, dear, but you are wrong. You interfered where you didn't belong no matter the intentions and now you have to admit that what you did was overstepping and let you and Bella have your friendship back. This baby is going to need her and you are going to need her. Don't shut her out." He kissed her forehead as she scowled at him, before he touched my shoulder gently and walked out of the room.

"Wow," I whispered into the air.

"I know, right," Alice laughed softly.

We stayed silent for a few minutes, absorbing Jasper's words before she spoke, "Bella, I'm sorry. Everything has been crazy lately. I thought that by protecting you and keeping Edward away that it would be better for everyone, but I was wrong. I love you guys together and I had no idea what I was thinking. I just want everything to go back to the way it was. I'm sorry."

I came over to the bed where she was laying and hugged her carefully before leaning my head against the side of hers and stroking her hair. "I'm sorry too, Alice. Some of the things I said were awful and I really missed you."

I could feel her forehead move when she smiled and grabbed onto my free hand to intertwine our fingers. "Friends?"

"Friends."

A few hours later Jasper and Alice welcomed a beautiful baby girl into the world, weighing seven pounds three ounces. She was gorgeous and the name Samantha Lynn Whitlock was given. As the family went inside to visit, Edward and I stayed in the waiting room for the crowd to die down before our turn inside. I sat on the chair while Edward stood looked down on me and his daughter sleeping peacefully on the couch across the room. She looked like an angel coated in a white blanket while snuggled comfortably.

I closed my eyes to enjoy the feeling of electricity in the air between Edward and I and the serenity of Grace's mere presence brought me.

"Bella?" Edward asked while I felt his gaze on my face.

"Hmm," I hummed at him without opening my eyes.

"Shit, I know that this isn't the time or the place and I promise to re-do this, but I can't wait any longer. I've been carrying this thing around for weeks and I'm itching out of my skin to give it to you. "I heard him pacing in front of me as I sat confused and calm in my chair.

"What are you talking about, Edward?"

"You mean everything, you know that right? I love you more and more everyday and I was stupid to leave you in the first place. I missed you every moment of every day. When you leave now to go and tuck Grace in or even go to the bathroom, I miss you. I sometimes watch you sleep just to make sure you're real. I can only be complete when I'm with you. You are my life and I am so uncontrollably in love with our daughter and our unborn child, but even more so in love with the woman who gave me the world. You are a reminder every day of how beautiful life can be and how thankful I am that I get to spend every day of my life with such a beautiful, intelligent and sexy woman. Bella, I love you so much. Can you open your eyes for me?"

The tears shone in my eyes as I took in this beautiful man. He was crumpled and frustrated as his hands had left his hair an unbelievable mess. I saw the love shine in his eyes and I wanted in turn to close my own with the force of his sincerity.

Edward surprised me by kneeling down on one knee with a small box fiddling in his hands. I leaned forward as the tears now fell freely with one hand on my stomach and one hand in his.

"Isabella Swan, you are ridiculous when you wake up in the morning with your hair an absolute mess. You annoy the crap out of me when you leave the toothpaste cap off at night and when you leave your apple cores beside the bed. I hate it when you buy every book in the store when there's no way you can possibly read them all at once and I hate the way you never use a coaster on any piece of furniture we own. Mostly, I love the way you are a mother first and foremost to our children and an incredibly passionate woman in every aspect of your life. You inspire me, Isabella Swan and I love you with every fiber of my being." He opened the box and I gasped at the beautiful solitaire enclosed inside.

"Marry me, my love, and make my life complete."

**

* * *

**

Disclaimer: S. Meyer owns all. I own a nasty ass sunburn and a lot of candy that I can't seem to find the time to eat. This is an original work by DevonAshleigh and cannot be reposted, copied or plagarized without explicit written authorization by the author. Copyright DevonAshleigh 2010.

**A/N: **I want to first start out by saying, I am so incredibly sorry for the delay. It's completely out of character for me, but with my new job I am lucky to find time to sleep. Lol. Secondly, I am hoping to start the next chapter tomorrow and try to finish it by Friday or Thursday and before my week gets nuts. I will be pretty much non exsistant for the weekend beginning of next week, but I'll try my hardest. I am like falling asleep right now because I just got off of a shift so forgive any mistakes in this A/N.

Do not however forgive any mistakes in the story. That will be completely to blame of my fabulous and over talented beta, LittleMissInnocence. She has been so amazing and such a great friend. I love the tweets asking me if I'm still alive, lol. It's nice to know you're looking out for me babe. Her story, Just One Night, has gotten INSANELY good over the last couple weeks (not that it wasn't before) but if you're a new reader and you're looking for something awesome to read, take a look! Preggo, Bella, adorable Edward and little baby Masen. All grouped in with the wacky fam jam that we all love, takes it over the top. I love you, Lynn and thank you so much! My heart is with you in this crazy time of destruction.

Okay, off I go to read a little and fall fast asleep. I'm sooooo done. I got an incredible amount of reviews and will be sending a teaser out. I'm sorry again that I didn't have more time to personalize each one and if you did ask a question, I tried to respond as best I could. Everyone who reviewed should have got a mass message with a teaser, though. Thank you for reading and make sure to leave a comment. They brighten my day. Love you all!

Devon xoxox.


	17. Chapter 16 The Fear You Won't Fall

**Before the Worst  
**_**Chapter 16- The Fear You Won't Fall**_

_Digging a hole and the walls are caving in behind me_

_Air's getting thin but I'm trying_

_I'm breathing in_

_Come find me_

_**It hasn't felt like this before**_

_**It hasn't felt like home before you**_

_And I know it's easy to say but it's harder to feel this way_

_**And I miss you more than I should**_

_**Than I thought I could**_

_**I can't get my mind off of you**_

_I know you're scared that I'll soon be over it_

_That's part of it all_

_**Part of the beauty of falling in love with you is the fear you won't fall**_

_It hasn't felt like this before_

_It hasn't felt like home before you_

"_Marry me, my love, and make my life complete."_

"No," I said with a whisper.

His face turned a grim shade of pale as he gauged my response. "No?" he asked stupidly.

I pulled my hand free from his, but left one at my stomach. I grasped his face with my free hand and looked straight into his eyes. This wasn't to be misunderstood. "No, Edward Cullen, you will make **my** life complete. I would love to be your wife. That is, if you agree to a few conditions of course." I winked.

He smiled his famous crooked smile and cocked his head to the side to look at me. His eyes narrowed jokingly. "What kind of conditions, future Mrs. Cullen?"

My heart leapt at being finally called his, as I continued the playfully banter. "Well, first off, you must make love to me every single day, no matter how fat and old I become."

He rolled his eyes at me, still on one knee with the box in his hands. "Like that could ever happen."

I grinned. "Good Answer. Secondly, you have to deal with Gracie in her pre-teens because I can't handle that shit and you must refrain from using a gun on either one of our children's future partners."

He scrunched his nose but nodded his head. "Thirdly, you have to stop leaving your socks all over the damn place. I won't be able to bend soon to pick them up and then we will look like a sock refuge."

"Okay, Okay. Can I just put this ring on you, or are you going to want a signed contract?"

My face broke into a brilliant smile as he pulled the large diamond from the box and slid the ring on my finger. Edward jumped off his knee as he grabbed me and twirled my body around as we kissed and laughed.

"Ow, Rosie, violence isn't the answer, baby." In the background, we heard a small thump and Emmett's booming voice from behind the glass of the window into the waiting room.

"Please, tell me that's not Emmett," Edward whispered against my lips.

I sighed dramatically, keeping myself locked against him just for a few more moments. "I guess Utopia doesn't last long."

"He's your brother," Edward mumbled against my head as he hugged me.

I pulled back and smacked his chest. "He's YOUR brother, Edward Cullen, and I'm not taking responsibility for him!"

"Yeah, but he likes you better so you can have him."

"He's not a dog, Edward."

"Sure he is," Edward sighed before breaking us apart and wrapping an arm around my shoulder as we looked onto our peaceful daughter, thankful that the family hadn't barged in yet.

"We should wait to tell her," I said while looking up at him.

"We'll tell her whenever you're ready, baby."

I looked down at my ring. "It's perfect, Edward. Thank you so much. It's beautiful." It really was perfect in a setting of platinum with a large, square cut diamond sitting in the centre. It shone in all its simplicity and beauty.

"I'm glad you like it. I have been dying to give it to you for weeks. I'm sorry this wasn't more romantic," he said sadly while keeping his gaze locked on Gracie's face.

I lifted his chin up to look at me. "That isn't us, Edward. We have a beautiful daughter and a baby on the way. Our whole relationship before them was extravagance and money and look where that got us. This was utterly perfect."

"I know, Bella, but I still want to do it right for you."

I snorted. "Well, if you think you're getting back this ring for a do-over, you're sadly mistaken. You'll have to pry it from my hands now."

Edward laughed at my silly antics before pulling me into a searing kiss. I lost sight of the room around us, as this man brought me into my paradise. I was overwhelmed with his scent and his touch, hoping for a repeat performance of last night, just before a large crash behind us startled us and broke us apart.

"YOU'RE GETTING MARRIED," yelled Esme who was standing beside a large mess of people in the doorway of the waiting room. Emmett was on the bottom of the pile, flat on his back against the tile of the hospital floor, while Rose was laying on top of him, stomach to stomach. Carlisle was the last person, stomach to Rosalie's back, on the top of the pile. This surprised us the most, while Esme walked calmly over their bodies to pull us both into hugs. Somehow, our daughter had not woken in the midst of all of the commotion, and for that, I was thankful. It would have been them putting her back to sleep after.

I looked over at Edward. "I guess we don't have to tell them the news."

He pursed his lips at me "Engagement announcements are so overrated."

"Oh, no you don't," Esme scolded from beside us. "We're going to do this right! This is my last baby to be married and we're going to do it properly. Engagement parties, wedding showers, baby showers-"

"Mom," I said softly to her while furrowing my brows and grabbing onto her shoulders. "Esme, you have been more of a mother to me than my own mother, but I can't handle all that. I will want to stab you and Alice with a butter knife by the end of it." I looked over her shoulder wistfully, thinking about what I had said. "It would be a long and painful death, just like the torture I will endure during these parties."

"Don't be ridiculous, dear," Esme scoffed. "You only get married once."

"It'll be more than once if Edward keeps calling me a fat whale," I said nonchalantly.

"Bella! I do not call you a fat whale…what the hell." Edward said shocked, but over his mother's head, I winked at him. He was going to get it now and I would be long forgotten in the party planning discussion for tonight.

Just as the words 'fat whale' left his mouth, his mother whipped her head around and grabbed onto his ear. "EDWARD ANTHONY CULLEN! You dare call your gorgeous, pregnant, fiancé anything but beautiful! I thought I raised you better than that." She pulled him from the room and out into the hall and I saw his face set in a scowl toward me. I knew I would get it later, but I just wanted to visit my beautiful niece. This was Alice's day, not mine.

"Poppa C, you might be a handsome doctor, but you weigh a ton," Rosalie yelled, still pinned underneath Carlisle's body.

"Oh, right, right," Carlisle said awkwardly as he snapped out of his internal monologue and got up off the pile.

"Jeez, Rosie baby, if you wanted me on my back, all you had to do was ask," Emmett scoffed into the air.

"Oh, get over yourself, asshole," Rosalie replied with a chuckle at her husband.

As soon as Rosalie weight was off Emmett's body, he ran full speed towards me. "Emmet," I yelled while putting my hands up defensively. "I'm pregnant, remember?"

He stopped suddenly and stood in front of me while my face cringed away from him, preparing for the impact. Emmett's smile faltered for a second before it returned weakly and wrapped up my body up in one of his famous bear hugs. The intensity was not as it usually was, for fear he would hurt me or the baby. Emmett might be built like a machine, but he'll always be my softie.

"I'm so glad you're joining the family, Bells," Emmett whispered into my ear while he snuggled slightly.

"I thought I was always in the family, Emmett," I said in mock anger, but it came out actually sounding angrier than it was supposed to. I put the glare on my face as he pulled back to look at me.

"Oh, Bella, you are! I'm so sorry. I didn't mean anything by it, I just meant that now it would be legal and –"

"Legal? Is that all that matters to you? Do you honestly think that? If I'm not part of this family without a wedding ring, then I guess Grace isn't too. Just because she shares the same last name, doesn't make her part of this family either, does it, Emmett?" I asked trying to keep my tone angry instead of playful and giddy like it was on the inside.

"Bella…I…I'm…," Emmett stuttered, completely baffled and truly believing I was pissed off and he sounded devastated in the process.

"Oh, Bella. Don't tease Emmett, dear," Carlisle said as he came between us and gave me a warm, fatherly hug.

"Tease me?" Emmett asked, clearly confused and playing into my prank.

"When Bella lies, one of her eyebrows twitches. You see that, there," Carlisle instructed pointing close to my face. "She's lying through her teeth, son."

When the realization crossed Emmett's face, I broke into a loud round of laughter, the whole family joining in.

Emmett smiled and pointed at me teasingly. "The minute that baby comes out, Swan, you are getting the longest hug I've ever done. You won't be able to breathe for days!"

I embraced him warmly. "I'm looking forward to it. I love you, Em."

He hugged me back carefully. "I love you too, baby sis."

"Alright, you big lug," shouted Rosalie from around us, while trying to pry Emmett off me. "My turn!"

Rosalie looked slightly hesitant before I grabbed her into a hug as well. We rocked for a few minutes together before she spoke. "I'm so glad you're going to be married to Edward. That's how it always was supposed to be."

As she pulled back I smiled at him and watched Esme walk into the room and wink at me while Edward stayed sulking in the hall. I walked out the door to my future husband, leaving my family to discuss the wedding plans while I enjoyed a few more minutes of silence without them weighing on my shoulders.

I hugged Edward from behind before he saw my face and watched his body slightly tense and release at my touch. "I thought a fat whale couldn't move, let alone hug me."

I giggled into his back. "You were a worthy sacrifice in the party planning."

Edward scoffed and put his hands on mine around his waist. "My mother didn't think so. She proceeded to give me a verbal lashing about my comments and told me that 'If anything, I should be the one to go to Weight Watchers'."

I pulled back slightly and gave out a hearty laugh before Edward joined me and turned back around to return my hold. The flash and the extravagance would never be us. We had been there and done that and it never worked for us. Edward finding out I was pregnant before me, me blurting out that he should move in and him proposing in a hospital waiting room, was completely us. We had a daughter and a baby on the way. Edward and I were sticky ninety-eight percent of the day and not in the good ways either. We frequently ran out of food in the fridge, had dog hair on most of our clothing and our house was lived in and untidy. If he had brought out the yacht and the airplane that spelled out the words in his proposal, I wouldn't have said yes. Doing things like that was incredible, but unnecessary and showed me that he really didn't know me or us at all. Only hours after fighting with his pregnant sister and coated in a day's worth of grime sitting in a hospital was the perfect way to do what he did.

We spent the better part of the day enjoying baby Samantha as I internally counted down the minutes until our baby was born. I could see it in the way that Edward looked at the small body wrapped snuggly in his arms that he was counting down as well. I had seen Edward with his nephews, but this was priceless knowing that in a couple months it would be our turn and our child. He would get to smell the beautifully comforting baby smell and worry about if they had everything they needed and if they would grow up properly. I would get to see Edward experience his first sibling fight and Gracie asking to borrow the car. I could never get those memories back and I vowed to go out tomorrow and buy a new camera with a shit ton of memory space. If I couldn't keep the memories in repeat mode, replaying them in real life, I would photograph everything. Edward had begged me for months to draw my bump on the wall to show progression or take pictures of the expanding flesh and now I finally understood. This was our life, our dreams and I would do anything and everything to hold them forever in perfect crystallization, frozen in time and put on display for all to see. That was true happiness and better than any job promotion or lottery winning.

As Alice adjusted to the roles of motherhood to a young baby once again, I spent the next few weeks preparing for the nursery. I was now seventeen weeks along and excited for the ultrasound later in the week. If the baby was cooperating, we could finally tell the sex and begin to plan properly. I wasn't sure what Edward wanted, but based on my dream a few weeks ago, I knew it was a girl. I had tried to keep my thoughts secret, but I had begun to purchase more than a few pink dresses. I forgot how beautiful and innocent having a baby girl was. The frills and the satin enticed me as I put quite a few dollars on our credit card. I hid it all carefully in the nursery closet, trying to convince myself I hadn't actually purchased that much and vowing to use it for the next time around. Now that I had my family back together and expanding, I couldn't not become pregnant again. I loved the feeling and the amazement behind Edward's eyes as I mentioned anything about the baby or the feeling of his fingers on my stomach touching the tender skin where our miracle resided.

I kept these thoughts in my mind as I caught up on some of the laundry. We put our new events on hold while Rosalie and Emmett kept trying for another baby, I enjoyed my pregnancy and Alice took care of baby Sam. We had that luxury with owning our own successful company and there were things in real life that just couldn't be put on hold. Today, laundry was one of them.

Edward was working a double at the hospital as the emergencies kept piling up and Gracie was spending time with Esme and her book club girls. Gracie never really read, but enjoyed being fawned over by all of the ladies who accused her constantly of being 'so precious and adorable'. They were stroking her ego and I had to pay for it when she wore a tiara all week and claimed that Edward was her pony and had to give her piggy back rides. She pleaded that princesses never walked anywhere and even Edward's logic about horses not being able to give **piggy**back rides, was useless. That man was wrapped around her finger and he didn't even know it. Esme was no better, constantly stealing her only granddaughter away to show her off to anyone and everyone who would listen. She always made sure to spend equal time with all her grandchildren, but kept her eldest for all of the girly events.

I was sitting on the floor in the nursery, my back to the entry way, enjoying the plush carpeting as I folded some of the baby clothing that we had purchased. I had no music or television blaring in my ears and the windows were open wide as I enjoyed the soft breeze and tranquility. There were so many baby onesies that needed to be folded and put away and just not enough time in the day.

I hummed quietly to myself as I heard the soft padding of footsteps up the stairs behind me. I knew that it couldn't have been Gracie, seeing as the book club girls had just begun their meeting. She wouldn't have been out of there for quite some time. It was probably Edward surprising me. He had worked so hard and for so many hours over the last couple days. I was glad to see him have some time off, even if only for the afternoon.

I had my back turned to the stairs and the door of the bedroom open. I was glad I had hidden the girl clothing in the closet hours before, having already taken them out of the bags and neatly folded them.

"Hey, baby. How was work?" I called out to the silence. I continued to fold the clothing and waited for the familiar hum of electricity and fingers snaked around our baby. Even with me sitting on the floor, Edward seemed to always have a grasp on our young one.

He didn't respond, but I was sure I felt the soft brush of fingertips against my tight t-shirt. It was beginning to pull at the chest and bottom of my stomach, making it seem a bit more obvious that I was now expecting.

I furrowed my brow. It wasn't like him to not answer me. I glanced over my shoulder, but saw nothing in my peripheral vision. He must have his headphones on again. I was going to burn those things. I heard some clanging in the bed room and figured he must have gone to have a shower after work.

I walked into the bedroom, ready for a fight, when all I found was nothingness.

"Edward?" I yelled out. Where the fuck did he go?

I didn't see the familiar tell tale signs of Edward being in a room while looking around our bedroom. His scrubs weren't unceremoniously shed and thrown all over the place, there were no socks littering the floor or the smell of his body wash filling the room. I walked over to the other side of the room and looked into the walk-in closet. Not finding him in there, I turned back around.

Puzzled, I walked past our king size bed, ignoring the memories from the night before and knocked on the door to the bathroom. "Edward, hun, are you in there?"

I waited. No answer.

"Edward? Baby, is something wrong?"

I pushed the door open gently checked in the large glass shower, noting the lack of his absence amongst the cream coloured tile and dual shower heads. I was starting to get pissed off and rubbed my small bump to keep calm. Where in hell was he? Was I beginning to lose it? Am I imagining the footsteps and the touches?

He had to be here.

I was about to turn around and investigate around the other parts of the house before kicking my future husband's ass, as I noticed a small note taped to the glass of the mirror. Relieved that I wasn't losing my mind, I smiled as I reached up and grabbed it in my hands, feeling the small rip of the sticky glue leave a mark on my mirror like Edward left a mark in my soul.

I read the note twice before paling and running out of the room. I heard footsteps fall in the distance, as I threw my body into my steps, determined to make myself quicker. I got to the staircase on the upper floor, a few steps from the nursery, as I looked over the railing at the front door closing.

Confused and fearful of my life and that of my baby, I read the note again.

_You look so beautiful in that shirt. I hope the baby is a girl too. _

My hand was unable to grasp the thin paper, like my mind was unable to grasp the information. That was not Edward's handwriting and that was not Edward touching me, but the writing screamed unknown and masculine. A man had just walked into my home and infiltrated my sanctuary with me and my unborn child inside and unprotected. I did not know why he came or who he was.

This might not have been the first time he has done the same thing, maybe even with Gracie inside as well.

With that thought, I let out a bloodcurdling scream as I dropped to my knees, still staring at the front door that my nightmare just walked out of.

* * *

**Disclaimer: S. Meyer owns all. I own a hilarious boyfriend literally falling out of bed this morning and breaking my fan and the comfiest duvet ever. This story is an original works by DevonAshleigh and cannot be copied, plagiarized or republished without specific written authorization from the author. Copyright DevonAshleigh 2010.**

**A/N: **The chapters are getting later and later as I continue the roller coaster of my new job. It sucks, but it rocks. I'm really sorry again about the delay guys. My job is more stressful and I work more hours now, especially late at night and that's when I used to find I write the best so instead of writing like 3000 words in two full nights..I only have time to write like 1000. It's a slow process, but I'm gettin 'r' done. I was going to send out a teaser last night when I finished the chapt, but I figured that you would just like the full chapter instead.

Lynn, my wonderful beta, you dirty rat you. Thank you so much for being so patient with me. We hardly ever get a chance to talk anymore so I have resorted to writing epic A/N's just to communicate. Thank god for twitter. We post a lot more on there about our stories than we should ;). Thanks again for being an amazing beta. I owe you dinner this summer on our adventure. Love you!

A lot of things happen in this chapter so there's a couple things I would like you to know:

1) Edward and Bella will not die...I hate those stories. But, keep in mind that doesn't mean they won't get seriously injured.

2) Jacob will never come in...I hated him in the movies and the books. I only like Taylor Lautner's body.

3) Things are not what they seem.

4) This story is not about Bella and Edward and the fact that they want to be together, but can't. We've overcame that obstacle and although they have a lot to work on, I believe in HEA. This story is about what a marriage and relationship has to overcome with a family as well as some angst.

Anyways, back to the chapter. I hope you guys enjoyed it and I hope that you continue to reccomend the story in your future to your friends or family. I appreciate every single review and I read them all. Hello to the new readers. I write this story for you guys and I love you all sincerely.

xoxox Dev


	18. Chapter 17 Set The Fire To The Third Bar

**Before the Worst  
**_**Chapter 17- Set the Fire to the Third Bar**_

_And miles from where you are_

_I lay down on the cold ground and I_

_**I pray that something picks me up**_

_**And sets me down in your warm arms**_

_After I've traveled so far_

_We'd set the fire to the third bar_

_**We'd share each other like an island**_

_**Until exhausted close our eyelids**_

_**And dreaming pick up from**_

_**The last place we left off**_

_Your soft skin is weeping_

_**A joy you can't keep in**_

_And miles from where you are_

_I lay down on the cold ground and I_

_I pray that something picks me up_

_And sets me down in your warm arms_

_His hand, large in mine, continued to run along the expanse of my body. He was gentle and firm, everything I remembered him to be from a few weeks prior. This was not the first time we made love, but tonight was more important and somehow more special. _

_Edward was acting distant all week, never returning my phone calls or texts. I was equally as busy with starting up the new company with Alice and Rosalie, but I missed him and felt the loss of his presence drastically. My world still breathed and yearned for Edward, a teenager all consumed. Things must have been busy and quite awkward for him to act like this towards me. It was not my Edward to behave in such a manor, but maybe I was imagining his growing distance._

_I closed off those thoughts and let myself enjoy the touch of his calloused fingertips, sandpaper against silk, a reminder of the hard work he put into every aspect of his life. I let myself show my vulnerability as I whimpered for him. "Please, Edward, I need you."_

_His breathing hitched as I ran my hands through his hair and tugged gently. A strangled cry escaped his lips, fighting the inner battle I hoped our bodies together would cure for him. He needed this. I needed this._

_I didn't know when we would have time to see each other again with our busy schedules and my body craved him. I dug my nails gently into his back as I ran my hands down his torso. He moaned softly and began to lower his head to my supple chest. The sensation of the cold air around us and the intensity of his body heat sent my spine shivering. It was delicious torture as he continued to lavish attention all down my skin, nipping and sucking along the way._

_Edward stopped between my legs and sighed contently while I giggled at his adorable behavior. He shut me up quickly by licking one long pass up my heat to my core. I bit my lip and closed my eyes, enjoying the ecstasy he was bringing me until I felt the telltale shiver in the insole of my feet as the warm wave spread. He moaned as I saw him gaze up at me through my lashes, pleased with the after affect of his experience with my body. Edward always read me so easily, even in the beginning of our relationship and it only got better over time._

_I smirked at him and pulled him up to my level again. The kisses were intense and erotic at the most innocent of times, but now, in the heat of the moment, they were pure passion and love. You could feel it in every touch, in every breath and motion. It was hanging in the air, between us like a cloud of fog pulling us both in. _

_I flipped him over on his back unexpectedly and sheathed myself completely on him. His face went from amused to serious as he tried to focus on lasting longer. I moved and writhed, hitting spots within myself that drove us both crazy, before we both fell over the edge. _

_The next days were spent with chaste kisses, and never making love again before Edward left. It was the night that Grace was conceived. _

I was still in shock when I ran back into the nursery with the cordless phone to call Edward. I felt bad interrupting him during work, but I knew he had to know about this. We were all in danger.

_Ring._

"Edward Cullen," his voice chirped happily on the other line. I could tell that he was smiling and he wouldn't be for much longer.

I tried to choke out the words, but nothing was coming out except sobs and tears.

"Hello?" he asked again. He paused for a second as I willed my brain to speak the words. This man could come back at any moment and I was defenseless with only a few kitchen knives as weapons.

I managed to get out a squeak and a mangled cry into the phone before Edward clicked in on who it was. "Bella, baby? What happened? Are you okay? Is it the baby? Oh god, please," he panicked while cursing under his breath.

I started to hyperventilate as I struggled to keep my breathing even, if not for me than for the baby. "E...Ed…Edward…ma...man…house…," I sucked in a deep breath and waited for a few minutes for the hiccupping to stop. "Man…in the house…Edward. I'm…not…safe."

"Bella, I don't understand, sweetheart. Breathe deeply for me, in and out. You're going to hurt yourself and the baby." Edward mimicked the breaths with me for a few minutes as I locked myself in the nursery against the wall. I saw him walk out the front door, but how much longer till he came back and got what he wanted?

I heard the engine roar to life on the other end of the phone while I waited to calm myself and hear the man I love walk into our home. When I finally felt calm enough, I began. "Edward, I was in the nursery and a man walked into the house. I have no idea who he was. I thought it was you and I didn't turn around! I was so stupid, Edward. I'm so sorry!"

He was dead silent on the other end while the tears kept rolling down my face in a steady beat. Things were too perfect. We were too perfect and this is the other shoe. "I'm so scared, Edward. Please, I need you."

His voice sounded rough and I knew he was trying to control his temper. I couldn't imagine what he was going through right now, knowing that his wife and his child were just in harm's way and he wasn't home. He was going to blame himself and I had to stop him. "Are you okay? Are you hurt? Where is he now?"

I tried to wipe the tears uselessly, as the mascara began to sting my eyes. "I'm fine, and he's gone. I heard the footsteps and I called out to you. When you didn't respond, I looked all over for you and found a note on the bathroom mirror. I ran to the landing and saw his back walk out the door. Someone was in our home, Edward. How could I have let that happen? This is our sanctuary. What if Grace had been here?"

"Bella, you have to calm down or you're going to lose the baby. Please, I need you to lock yourself in our bedroom or the bathroom or somewhere with a secure lock on the door and go to the farthest corner away from the door. Wait for me there. I'm only ten minutes away."

I told him where I was and we hung up the phone, waiting for him to come home. I had never needed him more than I did now.

I hugged my arms to my body, fear wracking my bones as I tried to remember seeing anything of distinction on the retreating form that had shaken up my life. I was scared and I couldn't remember seeing anything but a black boot as he closed the door behind him. It wasn't much to go on because it was only a boot. There were so many brands, styles and designs that nothing could be pinpointed to a certain store or location on where the man would have purchased such a shoe. It was plain, and ordinary, just like how everything used to be.

I rocked back and forth and tried to take deep breaths, but they kept getting caught inside my body, coming out as haggard sobs. I wasn't aware of time as I rubbed my belly. The only thing I needed to be concerned about was the baby. He was gone and hopefully he would never return. I loved this house and our jobs, but if it came down to it, our family was a thousand times more important than any material object.

I wasn't sure if minutes or hours had passed as I dazed out and tried to formulate security options for our safety. I heard the front door click as my body tensed and crawled impossibly closer to the wall. I knew that it was Edward by the rush of his footsteps up the stairs and the stinging of electricity his mere presence brought me. My body knew it was Edward, but my mind was still focused on the dark figure that was here only mere moments before.

"Bella," Edward called out into the nursery after using his key to unlock the door. He searched all over the room with his eyes until he caught my gaze in the corner of the room. "Oh, Bella," he sighed as I launched myself into his arms. He smelled of soap, cinnamon and man. It was intoxicating at its best moments, but for now, it brought me the security of home and warmth that I needed so desperately.

Edward held me as my body began to give out and give in to the reality of the situation. My mind began to run a mile a minute as his arms clasped tightly around me. I had finally gotten out of my primal instinct of survival for me and my unborn child and now had the time to finally think of what this all meant.

I was standing, alone in the nursery, while he walked with free reign. He acted like he knew exactly where he was going. Perhaps, during one of our more intimate times or times when our guard was down, he had invited himself inside our home in the same fashion. He had a clear floor plan, enough to know exactly where our bedroom and ensuite were and was dexterous enough to move without me noticing. Could he have done this before and on more than one occasion? Could he have been watching my family and me without us even noticing him?

That thought made me sick.

Edward brought our bodies down to the floor and sat me carefully on his lap as he wrapped one arm around my body to rest on our baby, while the other combed softly through my hair. "Bella, where's Grace?"

"She's at your mother's with the girls. I am so utterly grateful that they are that crazy on days like this."

His grip tightened ever so slightly as I heard his breath grow laboured. "There won't be any more days like this," he said definitively. I knew that voice. That voice meant business.

"Edward, I don't know what happened! One minute I was in the nursery, folding clothes and yelling back to you, and then the next I was reading the note."

"Shhh, baby. It's not your fault. We're going to find this guy. I can't even imagine something happening to you two or Grace. You all are my world."

I looked up into his eyes and saw the unshed tears there. We just couldn't catch a break and I was so thankful for our strong relationship. Not many couples could handle the strain this situation was causing. I reached up and touched his face with the side of my hand adoringly. He really was the most beautiful man I had ever seen. His strength and courage were what it would take us to really get through this.

He looked at me and bent down to touch his lips softly to mine. The kiss poured love and strength and I was finally able to untangle myself and stand on my own. Edward walked all around the house and surveyed anything that might have been taken or damaged from the intruder. After nothing seemed missing or out of place, he read the note himself.

"Bella," he asked softly, calling out to me.

I turned to him and paused the folding I was still doing. I had to continue with my routine and gain some kind of normalcy. I was leaving this in Edward's hands like he wanted me to. "Yeah, babe?"

"I don't understand what he was trying to say here. Why is he mentioning the baby being a girl?" He turned his whole body to face mine as we looked at the note together.

I wanted to lie to him and tell him I had no idea. I wanted to just say whoever wrote this was crazy and delusional and that he would have wrote anything, but I knew that this was just the beginning of this situation. As much as I wanted it to end, I knew it wasn't going to anytime soon and we needed to be honest with one another. I couldn't have things hidden from him while we were dealing with this. It would blow up in our faces.

I looked down, ashamed at keeping anything from my fiancé. "Do you remember when I had that dream awhile ago? The horrible one where I couldn't sleep afterwards?" He nodded. "I might have lied about the content a little…"

"Why wouldn't you just tell me?"

I sighed and went over to him and wrapped his arms around his waist. He was tense, as he should be, but not overly. He was waiting for my reaction before blowing up. It was a big improvement from the man I dated in college. "I didn't want you to overreact. It seemed so real, Edward."

He grasped my chin and forced me to look at him. "Never hide your eyes, my beautiful Isabella." He took both hands and rubbed my expanding belly. "Talk to me," he commanded softly.

"In the dream, it was the baby being born," I stopped to take a breath. "Oh, Edward, she was beautiful, pink and warm." He smiled at me, pleased with the thought that it might be another girl. "But it didn't last long. She was given away while they worked on my body. I was bleeding out, Edward, and all I could hear was your screams before it faded away."

The grimace was visible on his face. "I'm so sorry, baby. That will never happen though. You're staying with me as long as possible and everything's going to be just fine."

"You don't know that for sure. It could happen to anyone." I walked away from him and paced the room while he stood watching. "I don't know how much of the ending of the dream will be close to reality, but I do have a feeling in my gut that the part where the baby was a girl was true. I may have gone out a bought a few things, just in case that was true."

"So, now I know what he meant by the girl comment, but how much stuff are we talking about here. There's a difference in buying a few items that we can always give away to children's shelters and buying exactly how much stuff you tend to buy."

He walked out of the bedroom and into the nursery where he searched neatly for the items I had purchased without his knowledge. It wasn't about the money and there wasn't a dominate partner that made more than one another. When we got engaged, we put everything into a joint fund where all the bills were taken out of and the money wasn't divided into Edward's or my own. It was mutual.

Every time he neared closer to the closet, I cringed involuntarily. I knew that he was bound to find the baby stash, but it was daunting having him look all over the place for it. When he finally had his hand grasping the doorknob, I let out a yell. "DON'T, Edward!"

He looked over at me, shocked by my sudden outburst and opened the door violently to the closet. I would have laughed if it hadn't been me in trouble. The whole day was so messed up and now to top it off, Edward was a mad man on a search for tiny baby clothing. It was ridiculous. I, however, wasn't laughing as he uncovered my "secret stash".

The closet opened and there were three large bags of everything from the pink wallpaper I was planning to put up in the nursery once we found out the sex, to onesies galore. The look on his face was what had me crumbling. It was sheer horror, while his brow furrowed and his mouth gaped open at the secrets I had hid. There was a light sheen of sweat from the labour of his search and a tinge of pale on the apples of his cheeks. He was still inhumanly gorgeous, but the laughter erupted from my lungs despite everything.

I laughed while he stuttered out a sentence and it didn't stop there. I held my small bump, one hand on the bottom of my stomach while my lungs heaved in effort. I laughed for so long that I thought I wasn't going to be able to ever catch a breath and it was exactly what I needed.

The grimace turned into a smile when he caught the last breaths of my giggles. He closed the closet door and put his arms around my waist. "We're going to forget that for now and try to deal with us."

I sighed a content breath as I smiled into his shirt. This afternoon I thought I would never smile again. "That's a good idea."

"I am going to call the security company right now and let them install one of those top of the line security systems. I want everything monitored and it needs to have a really loud alarm that would scare anyone off. While I'm doing that, you're going to call the doctor to make an appointment. I want to make sure that everything is okay with the baby," Edward commanded while he stroked my hair and held me close. He always knew just what to do.

"Yes, sir," I stated while I mock saluted him.

"You're okay, though?"

"I feel just fine, Edward. We will deal with it when it comes and with the alarm and notifying the police, there's nothing more that we can do."

"I just can't stand the thought of losing you, Bella," he said while he looked deeply into my eyes. The love that shone there, almost took my breath completely away. No time had passed between us, and we were even more in love.

That night was spent tossing and turning, constantly in fear of every movement and creak in the floorboards. I checked on Grace about nine times before I called it a night and forgot even the possibility of sleep. I paced the lower floor as the morning light shone through the windows.

When the time was acceptable to make a phone call, I called the only person who would really appreciate a shopping trip of this nature.

"Hello?" she rasped into the phone.

"Feel like going gun shopping? Perhaps a crossbow or one of those really huge knives?" I asked.

"Bella?" Rosalie asked nervously.

"Nope, it's that badass guy from Man Tracker. God, I love that show."

"Yeah, because I'm sure that that guy would call himself 'that badass guy from Man Tracker'"

"If I was that guy, I would. He's just that awesome."

"As much fun as this is, perhaps you should get to the point of this conversation."

I pondered for a moment. "I thought I did….shopping."

Rosalie laughed, "You're calling me for a shopping trip? Why wouldn't you want to call Alice? She's been dying to change your wardrobe for years."

"You want me to call Alice to go weapon shopping? Are you serious? She'd have an aneurism at all of the camouflage."

"You were serious about the crossbow?"

"Well…maybe not that big, but something equally as dangerous."

There was a long moment of silence before she spoke again. "Meet you at your house in ten."

The click of the receiver ended the conversation, but not the thought train in my head. The security measures were all fine and dandy, but I would protect my family no matter what.

There were two things that were on my mind when I got off the phone with Rosalie.

The first, I wondered if I would look good in camouflage.

The second, how far would I really have to go to ensure the safety of everyone I loved?

* * *

**Disclaimer: S. Meyer owns all things Twilight. I own a new Macbook Pro laptop charger and a new Coach wallet! This is an original work by DevonAshleigh and cannot be plagiarized, copied or duplicated without specific written authorization from the author. Copyright DevonAshleigh 2010. **

**A/N: **Hello everyone! Thank you for all sticking by me through this time of craziness. There were points I dabbled with not even continuing the story, but I believe these two need an ending! I will try not to delay a post for that long again, but I had troubles writing it and dealing with the crazy that is my life. So, thank you for being patient.

A big round of applause goes to my beta, LittleMissInnocence, who recently celebrated a birthday. Happy birthday to you, lovely. Lynn, you have stuck by me through this and continuously kicked my ass for not being on twitter more and being too busy. You have been an amazing friend and a great beta, and for that, thank you! You're part of the reason I keep posting :).

Okay, enough with the emotional gibberish. Enjoy the chapter and please leave some love. I'll try to respond to each one and the next chapter WILL BE STARTED tomorrow afternoon. Scout's honor! Love you all!

xoxox,

DevonAshleigh


	19. Chapter 18 Secrets

**Before the Worst  
**_**Chapter 18- Secrets**_

_I need another story_

_Something to get off my chest_

_My life gets kinda boring_

_**Need something that I can confess**_

_'Til all my sleeves are stained red_

_From all the truth that I've said_

_Come by it honestly I swear_

_Thought you saw me wink, no_

_I've been on the brink, so_

_**Tell me what you want to hear**_

_Something that were like those years_

_**Sick of all the insincere**_

_**So I'm gonna give all my secrets away**_

_**This time, don't need another perfect line**_

_Don't care if critics never jump in line_

_I'm gonna give all my secrets away_

The morning before my shopping excursion with Rosalie was quiet and calm, a rarity in this house. Gracie woke up early, taken from her slumber by my frantic pacing downstairs. I heard her little socked feet before I saw her; that was always how it was.

"Mommy, Mommy!" she yelled, thumping down the steps harder. Grace was petite, but always made up for it with her elephant feet and loud yells. She rarely had consideration for anyone else that was still asleep.

"Yes, my angel," I said as I stroked through her curls, praying she let the grip on my legs lessen.

"You wake up just to play with me?" she asked, looking up at me through her green, doe eyes. I considered blurting out the real reason, not because it was Gracie, but I felt like I had to tell someone. Of course, because it was Gracie, I didn't tell her. I did what every parent shouldn't do. I lied and covered it up.

"Of course, baby girl, but first, would you like some pancakes? Gotta' get that little tummy filled." I then proceeded to distract her tickling her sides. It caused her to fall over in a fit of giggles, which I missed the sound of desperately. With everything going on, I hadn't had a chance to spend some quality time with my daughter. It was always just the two of us until Edward, and then after that, the baby was announced and it would no longer be the two of us ever again. If by some circumstance, Edward were out of the picture again, it would be Gracie and I. Now that I was pregnant, even if Edward left again, it would be us two plus the new baby. It was hard to grasp that, and I promised myself to spend as much time with her as possible. It would be even harder after the baby was born to get some one on one time in with my daughter.

I picked her up carefully, mindful of her weight, and set her up on a stool at the island. When her markers and colouring books were set up just the way she liked them, I began to start cooking breakfast for my growing family. It was unusual to start meals this early, just as the sun was rising, but we were all in a bit of a situation and Gracie was taking advantage of any time she didn't have to spend sleeping.

Just as the pancakes were set at the table, Edward made his way down the stairs, fully showered and ready to go. He had his rounds at the hospital to still do, but told me he would be home early so that I wouldn't be alone after I came home from shopping. While the police started the investigation, they warned me to not be alone very often if it could be helped. The more vulnerable I was, the more danger I was in.

"Great timing, babe," I said as I smiled towards him. He looked delectable and I couldn't wait until things settled down and we could be intimate again. My mind might have been racing, but my body ached for him.

"What are you two doing up so early?" he asked as he gave Gracie a kiss on the top of her head and came over to rub his hands on the front of my stomach. Edward kissed my forehead and sat himself down at the table. I had never wanted to rip the scrubs off him so badly.

"Mommy woke up just to play with me, Daddy," Gracie said nonchalantly. She was holding her fork improperly and I stopped myself from correcting it. It was just too cute and soon she would be too old and realize her own mistakes. I was going to take it for as long as I could. She'd never be four again.

"Is that so, baby?" Edward asked as he poured the syrup on his food. He glanced briefly at me while I shrugged and sat down beside him. He knew better and I'm sure I'd get an earful later without prying eyes and ears.

"Of course, Daddy. Mommy and I are best friends and I want her to play with me all the time." Gracie spoke as if this was the most obvious thing in the world and I could see the flicker of amusement cross Edward's face. He was taking this in strides, rather than letting it get to him.

"You and mommy are best friends, huh?" Grace nodded her head and shoved another mouthful into her mouth. "Well, that's just a shame, because I had a special present for you. However, if you like Mommy more…"

I smiled and looked at her while her face paled and she tried to control her excitement. "No," she yelled dramatically. "Daddy is my best friend! I changed my imagination!" I couldn't help but to laugh at her mix up of words.

"Well if you're sure," Edward said as he smirked at me and winked. It was hard to be mad at him when he was so adorable. I never thought that we would be sitting at the table in the house I had in mind for us all along, baby on the way, and with our daughter, fighting over which parent she liked the most. It was very surreal. "I'll bring it home for you after work, Gracie baby." Edward grabbed our now finished plates and put them into the sink. He checked his watch and stalled. I knew he wanted to talk about last night.

"Grace, why don't you go upstairs and pick out your clothes for the day. I know Uncle Emmett is so excited to see you, baby." She hopped down from the chair with my help, and ran up the stairs giggling about cupcakes. I would have to make the rules clear to Emmett again.

It didn't take long for Edward to come over and wrap his arms around me. He held me tightly, one hand on my lower back and one on the back of my head as I breathed in his scent. I pulled back and pressed my lips softly to his. He didn't deepen it, but I felt the love and concern pour into it subconsciously.

"How's my girl?" he asked quietly.

"I'm alright, just couldn't sleep, you know?"

"That's understandable, Hun. We're both scared right now but everything will be okay. The police are on the job and we have to hope that they will figure it all out. We will be just fine." He drew circles across my skin as he paused for a breath, "I'll keep you safe, Isabella, and our children."

He was in his serious tone again and while it excited me physically, it eased my mind tenfold. I sighed and nodded before he spoke again. "I'm glad you're spending the day with Rosalie shopping. I know you need the break."

I had told Edward where I was going, just not the specifics. I couldn't just have faith like he did and be so calm about everything. I needed to know that if things came down to it, I could take matters into my own hands and defend my family and myself properly. I had fought too long and too hard to just have everything gone now. It was way too soon and we had so much still left to do.

Rosalie and I walked the aisles in relative silence. We had exhausted polite chitchat about 30 minutes in, and now, we were forced to shop with no conversation. She was dying to ask me what this whole thing was about, but I wasn't sure if I should tell her. It wasn't about the fact that I didn't trust Rosalie; it was if I told someone, it would become real. Everyone would be in danger, not that I didn't know for sure if they already weren't. For now, it was just my family, and I and that was enough. I couldn't get them involved as well.

So we stuck it out. Shopping for weapons. In silence.

As the man began helping me choose from the different styles and types, Rosalie finally broke.

"Okay, thank you. We're going to keep browsing," Rosalie told the older man as she turned me away and pushed me into an empty aisle.

"What the hell, Rose? I was looking at that," I shrieked while I turned to her angrily.

"Oh yeah? My loving, couldn't-hurt-a-fly, pregnant, mother of two, best friend was looking at guns?" She crossed her arms. "What, the house mother's association was too boring for you?"

I huffed at her childish antics. "There's nothing wrong with protecting yourself, Rosalie."

"You're completely right. I have a gun at home as well, but that doesn't mean that you should. This is completely out of character for you. Did you watch too many episodes of America's Most Wanted or something?"

"It's a long story that I really don't feel like going into right now. Can we just finish shopping? I want to get home to Edward and Grace and this baby is not liking that man's cologne."

"Bella, I just don't have a good feeling about this. Why won't you tell me what happened?" Rosalie stroked my arms softly as she gave me a concerned look. She was being gentle and showing true compassion which most people didn't get to see. She put up a tough exterior, when in reality, she was as fragile as anyone else.

"I don't want to get you involved, Rosalie. You have a family and a husband…I just can't do that to you. It's my problem and it'll be fine. Can we please, please continue?" I tried to reason with her, but I knew it was pointless.

"Fine, but if you were in danger you would tell me, right? I don't want you to get hurt or anything," Rosalie said as she rubbed my arm worriedly.

I smiled but didn't reply as we continued to look around the store.

I ended up not leaving with anything, finally seeing the reasoning and deciding to talk to Edward before making any decisions. As an afterthought, Charlie would have probably been the best person to ask, but he was already too busy with Renee and their failed romance.

Days turned into weeks with little to no commotion, which was nice. I was always in the mindset that the other shoe would drop, but I kept my eye on things and focused on anything that might be out of the ordinary. The police had come up with a big, fat, nothing on who might have entered the house, which was what I had expected. They didn't have a lot to go on to begin with because I wasn't much help. Before I knew it, it was the day of my ultrasound; the day I'd find out the sex of the baby…hopefully.

Edward was all nerves and jitters as we drove, hand in hand, to the doctor's office. We had been waiting for weeks for this moment and we couldn't wait. We brought Gracie along with us to help her understand more about the baby and get more involved with the pregnancy. We had told her a few days ago that we were getting married and now that everything was made clear, we were more than excited to share everything with her.

This really came at the perfect time for us. We were in the midst of the intruder confusion, work stress and taking care of Grace. This just reminded us that every life is precious and we needed to focus on the little things. What comes will come.

We situated ourselves in the room, just as the doctor came in.

"Well, hello Bella. We seem to have quite the crowd here, don't we? How are you feeling?"

"Anxious, actually. I'm just getting over the more sickness and our life has been kind of hectic lately." I looked over at Edward, a sign of disappointment and sadness on his face that he quickly masked.

"Well, I hope all is well." The snap of his latex gloves brought me back to reality as I put on the brave smile, which was nothing more than a façade. "Let's get down to the main event, shall we?"

Edward grasped my hand tightly as the fluttering in my stomach began. It didn't matter to me what sex the baby was; only that he or she was healthy and happy. I would give up my life willingly for my children and I'd be damned if this whole ordeal was going to cause either of them harm. It would be over my dead body, figuratively or literally.

"Okay Mom, if you look at this right here," he said while pausing the image to show me something on the screen. "you'll see a foot with perfect toes." I smiled up at Edward as he continued to show us various parts of our perfectly healthy child. It was a great burden that was lifted off my shoulders.

He rubbed the cold jelly into my skin as he shifted positions, taking pictures along the way. Edward demanded multiples to show everyone. The doctor paused for a few moments as he stilled the image on the screen. "Now, Dr. Cullen, can you tell me what you see here?"

Edward shifted forward, letting go of my hand for a brief moment. I looked at him with a confused look on my face, automatically predicting the worst. "Edward, what is it?" I knew he hadn't had much training on ultra sounds, but if something was seriously wrong with our baby, I hope that he would be able to identify it and we could possibly fix it.

What I wasn't expecting was a beautiful smile to take residence on his face, escaping the breath from my lungs instantly. He was glorious and seemed to shine. He turned to me and I couldn't help but mirror the expression on his face. "We're having a boy, Bella."

I sighed in happiness and relief. "Well, then I apologize for the excess in girl clothing we can no longer use." I heard the doctor stifle a giggle behind me as Edward kissed me with abandon. A part of me felt extreme sadness at the things I held from him before. He was never able to go through this with me before and for that, I would always be sorry. That shouldn't have been taken from him.

He detached his mouth from mine as he looked back at the doctor. "I'm having a son," he proudly declared. I had a feeling this sentence was going to be experienced in multiples throughout the course of my pregnancy and this was only the beginning.

Our little bubble was interrupted by our first born, tugging on her father's shirt. "Daddy, what's a son?"

He looked down at her with an expression only conceived in true love. "It means, baby girl, that you are going to have a baby brother. What do you think of that?"

Grace huffed a little and stood up on the hospital bed to hide her face in Edward's shoulder. I knew that she was going to have a hard time accepting this, but it would come with time. Grace was going to love and adore her baby brother.

"Can we take him back to mommy's tummy?" Grace asked, her voice muffled by Edward's shirt; a shirt, which I would be glad to rip off as soon as we were home.

Edward shook his head and kissed her cheek as he leaned down to me. He pressed his forehead to my temple, with one hand around our daughter and one along the back of the hospital bed. I hadn't noticed until then that the doctor had left the room and that the jelly was cleaned off my skin. It only felt like Edward and I had ever been here in the first place.

"Thank you so much, Isabella." He kissed my temple and moved his lips in front of my face. The way he said my name, sparked urges within me that had not be quenched for what felt like years. "I owe you everything and I will continue to show you that everyday of our lives." He finally closed the gap between our lips as the baby within me moved slowly. It was a connection that would be forever imprinted in my mind as the ultimate love.

What Edward didn't know was that I was the one that owed him everything. He put this family back together, and more importantly, he put me back together.

I made sure I showed him just that when we got home that night.

* * *

**Disclaimer: S. Meyer owns all things Twilight. I own a a stubborn labrador and writer's block. This is an original work by DevonAshleigh and cannot be plagiarized, copied or duplicated without specific written authorization from the author. Copyright DevonAshleigh 2010.**

**A/N: **This has been long awaited and I hope that it lives up to the hype. I have a rough idea in my head where I want this story to go, but not an exact outline. It is the first fanfic I have written and now I know where I have been going wrong. I hope to have this completed for you soon. I'm thinking another 7 or 8 chapters but it depends how I write them and the general idea of how I want things to go plays out. I'm so sorry this has taken forever and I appreciate the pushes to finish it from all of you. I needed that although some were more harsh than others. Jeeeeeze ;)

Thanks to my beta LittleMissInnocence who has stayed around through all this including betaing this chapter twice lol. Make sure to read the two stories she is currently writing as they are amazing! I already have the next chapter 3/4 of the way done so that should be posted tomorrow if all goes well, Monday at the latest.

Thanks for sticking through this with me, guys.

I love you more than you know.

xoxox, Devon.


	20. Chapter 19 There's A Place For Us

**Before the Worst  
**_**Chapter 19- There's a Place for Us**_

There's a place out there for us,

more than just a prayer or anything you've ever dreamed of.

So if you feel like giving up cause you don't fit in down here,

fear is crashing in, close your eyes and take my hand.

We can be the kings and queens of anything if we believe.

It's written in the stars that shine above,

**A world where you and I belong, where faith and love will keep us strong, **

**exactly who we are is just enough **

there's a place for us, there's a place for us.

When the water meets the sky,

where your heart is free and hope comes back to life,

when these broken hands are whole again,

**we will find what we've been waiting for, **

**we were made for so much more**

As I laid in the post-coital bliss, I looked over at my beautiful, sleeping fiancé. His lips were in a slight pout that seemed to be only reserved for me, while his eyelids twitched in dreams or memories, I wasn't quite sure. He was strong, reserved, smart and sensual. He was a beautiful lover and an extraordinary father that I was sure would have taken Grace as his own if she hadn't already been. Devotion seeped in every fiber of his being.

Those were just a few of the things to describe what kind of man Edward Cullen was. Those were also just a few of the things I wanted him to teach our son.

Son. I breathed deeply, a new set of lungs seeming to pop up overnight. I felt the pressure decrease on my chest as I thought about my baby boy, so dependent on his already thrilled parents.

I was always the one to wake up first, the sound of my light footsteps echoed through the halls of the cold house. I wrapped my cardigan tight around my small bump, sheltering the precious gift inside as I took a seat out on the back patio. Taking my feet up underneath my body, I let myself relax outside on the lawn chair, clad in silence.

Boys were a handful, something I never got to personally experience. I rested my head back and closed my eyes as a smile began to form. I was going to have one of each gender and hopefully many more. I would have to discuss that with Edward later.

There was so much left to do and in reality, I didn't have much time to do it. When I was pregnant with Gracie, the excitement was the first thing I could remember after so many years. I might have been young, but a baby was always a miracle and something that I couldn't wait for. When Edward left, the sadness was enough to squash the excitement and I spent many months just sitting around, wallowing in loves lost rather than taking care of myself and focusing on what I did have. My thoughts were constantly on Edward and sadly, Gracie was shoved aside by pain.

"_Bella, what the hell do you think you're doing still in bed?" Alice's shrill rang clear in my throbbing head. I had spent the night crying again instead of getting ready for work and carrying on with my life._

"_I'm wallowing, Alice. What does it look like?" I snapped at her._

_Alice began a flurry around the room picking up tissues and fast food containers along the way. "Well I see that, smartass, but you're going to be late for work and we really need the help with the Mr. Christie banquet. It needs your touch."_

_I rolled my eyes and turned over. "I know what you're trying to do and it's not going to work. You know damn well that I mostly deal with the clients and you guys have that covered so why don't you just leave me alone? I'm not ready yet."_

"_It's been a week, Bella! I need my best friend back. And what about that baby? All this stress and fast food surely can't be good for it." Her face was pleading and sporting a newly adapted Alice pout that was sure to have worked on me weeks ago. Weeks ago when Edward had been here and I was still in the delusion of having the white picket face and a baby making three._

_I turned back to face her and glared at her. "The baby is just fine and I know what I'm doing, Alice. I just lost the love of my life that left me, pregnant and completely alone. Please, get out. I told you I needed more time."_

_I heard her sigh behind me and felt her weight press against the bed frame. Her hands tentatively rubbed my leg over the duvet in a comforting gesture. "Please, Bella. Let us take care of you. You aren't alone. We can raise this baby together, you, me and Rose."_

"_I am alone, Alice. If I don't have Edward, I don't have anyone," I whispered to her in a low voice. I knew that that would hit Alice deeply, but I just wanted her to go away and leave me to my own thoughts._

_I felt her get up and she swallowed nervously, a typical Alice response to anything that was upsetting her. I felt a pang of regret, but the hurt was worse as she closed the door and truly left me alone._

I snapped back to reality. Tears were running down my cheeks that I hadn't realized I had shed. I wiped them back angrily, thinking about all I had learned since then. I knew if the same circumstances occurred today, I wouldn't be the way I was back then. I was stupid and naive to believe that being depressed and feeling sorry for myself was going to change anything. I had grown up since then and I would never do that to any of my children again.

"Baby, it's cold out here." I heard Edward's sleepy voice behind me as his uneven, half-asleep steps closed in on me.

He looked disheveled and completely fuckable as he wiped the sleep away from his eyes and tried to focus on my figure. "It's only cold out here because you're not wearing much clothing, Dr. Cullen."

He instantly picked up on my tone as his eyes began to dilate and blacken. "Is that so, Mrs. Cullen."

My breath hitched as we stared intently at each other, never missing a beat. I had never heard him say that but the way it fell off his lips did funny things between my legs. I couldn't let him know the ways he was affecting me as I began to tease him into what I hoped would be a productive morning.

"Well, aren't you presumptuous? How do you know I would even marry you?"

He quirked his eyebrow at me as the light bounced off my diamond. "I believe that ring would say otherwise."

We were nose and nose now, just inside the warmth of the house in front of the patio doors as he backed my body up against them. "I've changed my mind," I tried to say with conviction, but his body being this close was a distraction.

"Oh, Isabella, you are stepping on dangerous ground, my beautiful fiancé. I will have you. You are mine." My panties dampened just by his words as he roughly placed his hands on my hips.

"I'm not yours, Edward. I will never be yours." I could feel the forceful burn as his fingers flexed into the skin on my hips. His face was angry and I almost believed I took it too far until he crashed his lips to mine.

"I'm going to show you how much you're mine." He moved his hands from my hips down to my ass as he picked me up. I was lost in his kiss while I wrapped my legs around his waist. I was bringing out his possessiveness but we both knew whom we belonged to. I didn't get to see this side of him very often – in between work and our family life, we never had the time to truly unwind and remember our roots. The passion was always there, but the execution was sandwiched between Gracie's ballet classes and surgeries.

He continued to kiss me roughly as I felt the delicious coolness against my thighs of the cold glass inside the door. I clawed my way up his back , leaving welts I knew would be a reminder of the love we had for each other.

Edward carried me into the kitchen and laid me down on the island in the centre. The granite was cold like the glass and felt amazing against my hot skin. I felt nothing but the sensations of warmth from Edward's hands and mouth compared to the cold behind my back.

We began to fumble and our teeth clashed together messily, as we ripped all of our clothing off as quickly as possible. It was amazing how nimble I still was after all these years and a few months into pregnancy.

"Bella, baby, slow down. Are you hurting anywhere? Ahhh…" Edward's voice registered softly in my ears and I pulled his hips towards me unexpectedly and plunged him inside me. He quickly took my action as an answer of affirmation as he moved quickly towards our mutual goal.

There was nothing but pants and groans in the air as we tried to keep our voices down from our slumbering child only minutes away from waking and beginning the day. As we both tipped over the edge together, we whispered our love quietly and gently caressed our sweaty bodies until we regained enough feeling in our limbs to remove ourselves from our current positions.

"Well that was a way to wake up," Edward chuckled as he looked in my eyes and tucked a strand of loose hair behind my ear.

"I should hope every morning in the future is that incredible." I smiled as I threw back on my clothes and rearranged my hair back into its ponytail.

"I love you, Bella." Edward sighed as he rubbed his nose against mine. The hormones were getting the best of me now as I choked back the urge to cry at the intimate gesture. Edward placed one hand on my stomach, "How's my Herman this morning?"

"Herman?" I deadpanned. I stared at him like he grew three heads overnight. I was not naming my son Herman, not for all the tea in China.

Edward shrugged. "I was just trying it out."

I turned around and walked over to lock the patio doors. We never could be too careful anymore, not with that crazy person lurking around. "Well, I think we've established that Herman doesn't fit." I let the quiet nose of the lock clicking bring me back to security.

"Have you thought much about names?" Edward asked as he began to start pouring his breakfast.

"A little, but not much. Why, have you?" I asked as I watched the incredible view. He really was quite a beautiful man.

"Yeah. I know that we still have a while to go but I feel like we can't just keep calling him 'baby' all the time. Our son needs a proper name." Edward took a mouthful of his cereal and had most of the milk down the front of his shirt before I could even roll my eyes at him.

I walked over to him with a paper towel already in hand. "Maybe we should just forget this baby thing seeing as I already have one right in front of me."

He smiled a carefree smile before nodding and taking the paper towel and setting it on the counter. Edward put his hands on my stomach instead, the spilt milk forgotten as it began to set in the fibres of his shirt. "You look pretty pregnant to me, Bells." He rubbed my bump jokingly as he began to ask it for a wish, encouraging a small smack from me, before he kissed it and put his ears against it.

I felt the small bump against his hand before I felt him tense. I would have assumed he wouldn't have felt it, but I knew that he did when I saw the grin on his face. I had felt the flutters and the small taps before, but this one was strong and had a lot of effort behind it.

I saw the joy behind Edward's eyes as I tousled his hair gently. "See, he hates it too."

He reached his hand behind my thigh and gave a small pinch to my rear while I yelped. "I am trying to enjoy this moment here, Bells. I've never felt this before."

I knew he didn't mean it in the context that I was taking it, but it still hurt to remember it like that. They were not the fondest of memories and it is still something Edward and I have to work through and probably will continue to do so forever.

I grinned as I heard the small footsteps running hurriedly upstairs towards the general direction of our bedroom before the sound of the door ripping open crashed through the air. Edward straightened up and began to eat his cereal again while shaking his head at the small sounds from upstairs that belonged to our daughter. After a small huff, we heard her footsteps down the stairs and run into the kitchen before stopping suddenly in front of us. We all stood silently, trying to keep in the laughter at this remarkable small child while we all looked in her direction.

I was the first to break the silence as Gracie stood silently in her spot. "Did I just hear you running down the stairs, Gracie baby?"

She looked down as she walked past me and had her father help her onto a bar stool, still angelic in her baby pink nightgown. "No, mommy. I was just walking fast."

I narrowed my eyes and gave her a pointed look. "Of course, what was I thinking?"

We all talked simply together while we ate. The silence was comfortable and we tried to encourage Gracie to fill it, but we suspected she was still getting used to the baby being a boy and having to share that relationship with her parents. I didn't have to go into work until late so I was going to spend the morning with Gracie while Edward stepped into the hospital for a few hours.

I also hadn't seen Alice in a while and even though we had made up, our relationship was still rocky. The trust between our trio was still lacking. I believed an invitation to the park with Gracie and I was just the ticket.

I took a few small breaths as I dialed Alice's familiar number. "Hello?"

"Hello, my name is Rumplestiltskin and I'm calling to cash in on that first born offer we had?"

I could hear Alice smiling over the phone. "I thought we agreed on the first born boy? Oh, it doesn't matter, you can have her anyways."

"Tsk, tsk. So willing to give up your children."

"As much as I love retelling fairy tales, can we get to the point?"

I pretended to be hurt as I huffed into the phone. "I'm sorry but here I thought we were almost related or something. I guess I'll just have to go to the park with Gracie on my own then."

"NO!" Alice yelled. "I will meet you at my house in fifteen. Jasper is out with Tyler and I'm going to murder someone if I'm stuck in this house on more time with a crying baby."

"Well I know I'll feel better if it seems like I'm saving you from yourself."

"I would love to understand these but I just don't when I have four hours of sleep. See you soon!" I heard the phone click off as the room went silent.

I let Gracie up into her room before me as I watched her pick out her clothes while sitting on her bed. After convincing her she couldn't just wear two pairs of underwear, I left her to change while I got myself ready.

My clothes were beginning to feel a little tight against my waist now and that both excited me and frightened me. I was uneasy with gaining so much weight but I tried to eat healthy for the baby and for myself. If it wasn't for the strange cravings of ice cream and carrots, I wouldn't be worried at all.

I dressed myself casually but warmer as the day had a chill to it that I realized this morning. I smiled to myself as I thought about the moment with Edward in the kitchen. It wasn't like we weren't intimate often, it just felt new and exciting every time. I never experienced that with any other man, not that there was a long list or anything. Every time Edward touched me, it felt like the first time. The butterflies never went away and I didn't think they ever would.

I arrived at Alice's not long after she demanded I be there. Gracie warmed up to baby Samantha quickly and I hoped that it would be the same with her future brother.

After bundling up the baby, we walked down to the park all holding hands and laughing. It was very much a scene out of a movie, as our little homemade family got along nicely.

Gracie ran off to play as soon as she saw the swings and Alice and I pulled up to a nearby bench to watch over Grace and sit with the sleeping baby.

Alice broke the calm silence first. "I haven't seen you in so long."

" I was only one phone call away, Alice."

She fiddled with a loose string in her perfect denim jeans. " I know, but I felt like we haven't been as close as we were lately. "

"I know what you mean," I breathed deeply, watching Gracie carefully across the park. I turned to Alice. "We will get back there, I know we will."

Alice nodded and was thoughtful for a moment before laughing quietly under her breath. "Do you remember when we drank that case of beer and I told you that you should just marry me?"

I laughed along with her. "Yeah, I was getting desperate at that point."

Alice scoffed. "Excuse me, but I am a catch."

"I'm sure that one heterosexual female with a two year old and another heterosexual female with a son and a husband would have a beautiful marriage."

"I'm beginning to see your point, Bells." She rocked the baby carriage subconsciously. "Well, at least you're marrying Edward now. I can't exactly call him an upgrade from me, but he'll do."

I smiled at her. "You're happy, right Ali?"

She looked down at her peaceful daughter. "Very. Aren't you?"

I patted my small bump. "Very."

I looked out onto the fields as I saw Gracie talking into a bush. I thought at first that she was just playing with one of her many imaginary friends. Grace was at that age where imaginary friends were what all the cool kids were doing and I didn't want to hinder her imagination by not encouraging her.

My first thoughts were soon forgotten as I saw a foot falling out from underneath the bush. A shoe I had spent many nights trying to imagine in detail and get the haunting feelings out of my brain.

I tried not to panic as I evened out my breathing, if not for the baby, then for myself. "Alice, we have to go right now. Call Edward at work and tell him to meet us at your house. It's an emergency."

Alice was distraught as she took in my pale complexion. "Bella, are you alright? You look terrible. Are you ill?"

"Alice, I don't have time to explain. MOVE." I stood up quickly and gave Alice a deep look as I pushed her along. I had to get to my daughter and I had to do it quickly. How could they have found me here? Were they following me all along?

"GRACE," I screamed at the top of my lungs. She instantly turned her head towards me with a confused expression on her face. "WE'RE LEAVING. COME WITH ME NOW."

She waved goodbye as I saw the bush rustling. I met her halfway as I grabbed her and pulled her into my arms. I walked as quickly as I could with her in my arms and a baby concealed beneath my skin, as I pulled out my cell phone.

"Detective Porter? Hi, this is Bella Swan. I believe my family is in serious danger."


	21. Chapter 20 Fireflies

**Before the Worst**

_**Chapter 19 –Fireflies**_

_When the street lights come on and the fireflies flicker, I am walking her home making plans. With her shoes in her hands, I am watching her dance as the hem of her dress gently kisses the grass._

_It suddenly rains on us. She is laughing and turns up her hands._

_And like autumn turns leaves, winter will breathe cold in our necks, snow in our paths. Wherever she goes, all that I know about us is that beautiful things never last. That's why fireflies flash._

_When the summertime ends, we will not part as friends. Things were promised in blood, we have sinned. Now there's tears in her eyes as she's screaming goodbyes. I run alongside the car turning numb to the sound._

_Innocence didn't mean we're immune to these things. Let's blame the passage of time. Love and loss, truth it costs, more than I can spare right now. _

_Maybe it's simpler to lie._

I let out a large gust of breath as the physical exertion crept up on me. No longer running on adrenaline, my body seemed to shake with the effort to keep its frame standing.

Thrusting a small baby into her husband's awaiting arms, Alice followed quickly behind me into the kitchen. Grace was quick on my heels as well, the commotion scaring her into clinginess that I had never seen before.

I stood panicking and pacing in the kitchen trying to calm my body down. I was sick of this shit and I didn't know what I did in my life to deserve it. I was hardly working with any new clients in our business and was mostly taking time off to get ready for the baby. I wasn't going on any dates because I was in a stable relationship. When it came really down to it, I wasn't even leaving the house that much. I would only go out with Gracie for a few hours to get her some fresh air. Other than that, I was pretty boring, so why would anyone want to do this to my family?

"BELLA," Alice yelled as she slammed her fists down on the kitchen table. "You better explain to me what's going on right now before I have a hernia!"

I stared at her, shocked but understanding in her outburst. There was just too much on my mind right now to go into the details with her. I needed Edward. I needed to make sure he was safe too.

Reading my mind, Jasper entered the room after laying little Samantha down. "Edward's on his way, Bells. He was pretty shaken up." He laid the cordless phone down on the table before taking Alice's clenched fists in his hands. She instantly relaxed them and squeezed his hand back gently. "Anyone care to explain what's going on here?"

I tried to feed off of Jasper's calm energy before I spoke. I sat down on the chair and faced them, taking Gracie into my arms and rubbing her back. She didn't understand what was going on, but I tried to ease her fears. This was not her fault.

Alice's face was horror stricken as Jasper tried to calm her down. I couldn't believe I was putting them through this after everything I vowed when Rosalie asked the same questions.

Alice sighed, seeing my hesitation. "Gracie why don't you go downstairs and play with Tyler? I'm sure he's lonely down there." Her voice was soft and she put on a fake smile as Gracie took one last look at me before walking downstairs. I would have to explain things to her when things were a bit calmer.

As soon as I heard the soft click of the basement door, I began my story. "A man broke into the house a few weeks ago while I was inside folding baby clothes." I stopped when I saw the angry expression on Jasper's face. He was always so levelheaded. "I'm alright, guys, it just scared Edward and I and we have been trying to keep you guys out of it so you wouldn't get hurt."

Alice slumped into the seat next to me and turned it to face me. She grasped my hands in hers. "You don't have to protect us from anything, Bella. We are a family," she exhaled deeply while Jasper seethed behind her. " You must have been so scared."

I nodded silently. "I was. I am just glad Gracie wasn't in the house."

"What happened while the person was in the house, Bella?" Jasper spoke through gritted teeth.

"The person seemed to know the layout and was able to walk through the house quiet enough for me not to hear anything. They may have watched me for a bit or stolen something, I'm not sure. It didn't look like anything was missing though and there was a note about the baby on the bathroom mirror." I felt the nausea roll in my stomach again. It was still hard to talk about.

"What did it say," asked Alice.

"It said that I looked beautiful in the shirt I was wearing that day and that they hoped the baby was a girl as well." I tried to stop the traitorous tears from falling down my cheeks, but resisting was useless. Not to mention that when they started, it was like a dam broke and I was soon sobbing. "He's got some sick fascination with me and my family. I didn't want to get you two involved, but I'm so scared."

Alice grasped my hands tighter as she nodded, deep in thought. "Did you think you saw the person again today? Is that why you freaked?"

I squeezed her hands in an affirmative reply. "I'm sure that I did." I thanked Jasper as he handed me a tissue and continued shakily. "I saw Gracie talking to some bushes on the far side of the park while we were talking. At first I thought it was her imagination, but then I saw the same boot I saw the day they broke into my house come out from underneath the bush. It was the only thing I could ever get a description of for the police, but even then it won't help much."

Jasper cleared his throat as he stretched out his clenched fists. "Did you call the police, Bells? Maybe they have been hearing similar cases or maybe the person lives in the area, or is someone you know?"

I wiped my nose on the crumpled tissue. "I was in touch with Detective Porter earlier when the case was first beginning, but he isn't hopeful. There was no evidence, no fingerprints on anything and no distinctive handwriting on the note. All I had was the vague description of a black boot, and I couldn't even give them a definitive size." I leaned back and placed my hand on my stomach to ground me. "I called him again today. They have police searching the area but I know that the person will be long gone before they get there. It's like they just know exactly what I'm going to do and how I'll react even before I do."

We were thoughtful for a moment when we heard a large slam of the front door. I instinctively stood and began to back away from the table, before I smelt the familiar cinnamon smell of my fiancé.

Edward looked enraged as he approached the huddled group, but beautiful still in his scrubs from the day. His face was ragged and noticeably tired, but any person could easily tell he was trying to keep his cool. His face softened a fraction of an inch when he saw me.

"Bella," he breathed reverently. "Are you alright, sweetheart? What happened?" He came in close for a hug that I needed desperately. I hugged him firmly, as I laid my head on his chest and breathed in a steady gulp of his scent.

"I saw the person who broke into the house again today," I responded shakily. I was mumbling into his chest, but I knew that he could hear me. I looked around him and saw Alice walk away with an arm around Jasper, leaving us to a private moment.

Edward clutched me impossibly tighter. "Where did you see them, Bells?"

"I saw the person at the park today when I went with Alice and Grace," I mumbled into his shirt. "Grace was talking into the bush and I thought she was just playing with an imaginary friend or something until I saw a foot stick out from underneath the bush."

"Do you know what they said to Grace?"

I let go of him and sat back down on the chair. He moved to stand now in Jasper's position behind Alice's vacant spot. I felt like a horrible mother and that I couldn't even protect my children. It was a horrible feeling even though it might not be considered true. I should have been watching her better and I shouldn't have been so wrapped up in my own conversation, not to pay attention to her well-being. I felt like a failure.

I shook my head and broke back into the present. "I don't know. I haven't had the chance to talk to her yet. She doesn't understand that when I yelled for her, I was worried. She thinks I'm mad at her."

Edward sighed and pulled at his hair tightly. He slumped into Alice's spot and took his hands in mine like she did previously. "I'm going to call the security company and let them know the situation. I'll get extra equipment and even hire people if I have to. Everything will be okay, Bells. We'll make it through this." He kissed my knuckles and leaned forward to put his face on my cheek.

I let him wipe away the tears and the shame. Edward was an amazing partner and father and I leaned on him for support and love more than I probably should. "Let's get married, Edward."

He chuckled softly. "I thought I already asked you that."

I rolled my eyes at him, the past events forgotten in the back of my mind to keep me sane. "I mean soon. "

He leaned back and dropped my hands while he gave me an amused expression. "How soon are we thinking hear, Mrs. Cullen?"

I got up and sat on his lap, feeling one arm clasp tightly around me. I needed to be close to him and he did too apparently when I felt the other arm close in on my small bump. He rubbed circles on the swelling where our baby was growing and I was mesmerized by how big his hands were in comparison.

"Bells?" he asked again.

I flicked my eyes up to meet his. "Next month."

A small smile played on his lips. "Not that I'm not thrilled, but what's the rush?" His mouth opened in shock before his face paled. "You're not pregnant are you?"

I punched him lightly on the chest. "I don't want to look like a whale in my wedding dress. Also, there might be something in there about me loving you and wanting to commit to you or something." I leaned back into his body, feeling mine melt against him. "Plus, Alice will be killing me eventually to set a date so she can plan the whole thing."

He kissed my hair softly. "Alright, next month it is. We will have to heighten the security and be sure to keep it relatively small for safety's sake."

"That's what I wanted anyways."

I looked up to the staircase as I heard a small "Yes!" coming from the top. Jasper's voice was followed after by a small thump, as he reprehended the pixie for eavesdropping. "Alice, stop it," he scolded gently. "Leave them to talk in private."

Edward laughed while I sighed and laid back.

Even though the mood was lightened, the nagging fear was still present. Now that Alice and Jasper were involved, they insisted I share the details with Rosalie and Emmett as well. Emmett was pissed to say the least that I kept this from him and Rosalie acted all knowing even though we could tell she was blind sided by it. I couldn't help but feel like this was becoming a dangerous experience and when the person talked to Gracie, they crossed a line.

Detective Porter called back shortly after Emmett and Rosalie got to Alice's to let me know that they had come up empty again. There were fibers left from a grey jacket that got caught on a branch but it was a very generic brand of coat. The bottom line was that there wasn't much to go on and that didn't give me any peace. Detective Porter was sending over some police officers for the next few nights to run surveillance, but it was quite a few weeks in between attacks last time and I doubted they would come back so soon this time. It was almost a waiting game of when they would attack and that was scary.

Edward got crazy with the cameras and had the entire house bugged and recorded in a matter of days. I tried to keep up with my basic routine and spent time with Gracie as well as returning to work and taking meetings with clients. I couldn't let the person let us know that they affected us in any way. It would only encourage them further.

Another doctor's appointment passed to let me know the baby was doing well. It was one benefit of Edward being a doctor; I could see my baby whenever I wanted and did often. I was also in the middle of planning an extremely short notice wedding. It was very high profile already with Edward being a prestigious doctor and myself owning a successful event company with my best friends. I kept it small with a rough guest list of a hundred people in attendance, but even that was difficult.

Alice was bored and did end up taking over most of the planning, claiming that she didn't want me to stress when I was pregnant. I knew that was just an excuse to take over things but I didn't mind. Somehow she managed to plan my wedding, take care of a newborn and keep up with our ongoing events. She was a miracle worker and I thanked her any chance I could get.

Before I knew it, I was getting the final alterations and my wedding was planned for the following Saturday. Edward and I had decided on a ceremony at dusk and our first dance under the stars at a nearby golf course. My dress was a cream colour because I felt wrong wearing white. It flowed beautifully to the floor in an empire waist with a sweetheart neckline and tiny sleeves that covered my shoulders. I adored it and even though it cost a fortune, it was money well spent. I couldn't wait to see Edward's face when he saw me coming down the aisle.

The only thing Rosalie wanted to plan in the wedding celebrations was my bachelorette party. I set specific guidelines and told her no strippers or body shots of any kind. I was pregnant after all, but I did want them to have a good time. She decided on a trendy club downtown and dressed my swollen feet in four-inch heels and tight, dark wash denim. I paired it with a sparkly black top and we hit the town, leaving the boys with a football game and a case of beer.

That's how I ended up here, squeezed between my two very drunk best friends while they comfortably flirted with single guys who bought them drinks. When the men were promptly shut down when they asked for a phone number, the girls continued on their way to the next poor fellow and the system continued throughout the night. It was fun to watch after the first few minutes, as I sipped my soda water and tried to keep people from bumping into the baby.

As the night wore on, my feet hurt and I couldn't remember why I was even here. It wasn't my scene and hasn't been since before I first dated Edward, when Gracie was not even born yet. I didn't party much in college except when my sorority was having a party at our house and even then, I only made short appearances.

I sat down on a bar stool, not paying attention to where I was moving and accidently bumped into a skinny blonde girl with very few clothes on. Her drink shattered and I turned around to see the shocked expression on her face.

"Oh my god! I'm so sorry," I apologized profusely as I moved away from the shattered glass. "Please, let me buy you another. That was all my fault."

"Hey, no harm no foul. It was just an accident, don't worry about it." She smiled softly at me and that's when I noticed her face. She was very pretty and had a nicely defined body. I was jealous of her figure and missed my pre-pregnancy body desperately.

"Please, it would make me feel tons better if I could replace the one that was dropped." I walked over to the opposite side of her and called the bartender. She ordered another whiskey sour and I handed over a bill.

"Thank you for this," she raised her glass slightly. "You didn't have to do that."

"It was my fault. I wasn't watching where I was going." I rubbed my bump softly under the loud thrum of the music. "It's hard to navigate with this thing."

She laughed as she took a sip of her drink, setting it down on the bar. "My name's Lexie by the way." She stuck out her hand as I accepted it with a firm shake.

"I'm Bella Cullen. It's nice to meet you." _Shit! Why did I say that?_ Even though I probably would never see her again, I was so used to signing everything Bella Cullen now that I was in the process of changing my name. It was easy for Grace because I had given her Edward's name when she was born whereas mine was a completely different story.

Lexie took another sip of her drink and a thoughtful expression crossed her face. "Cullen? Do you happen to know an Edward Cullen?"

I furrowed my brows. She probably just knew Edward from the hospital. Edward had been doing some television appearances to promote the new hospital ward that was donated by Carlisle and Esme and had been on some pretty major morning shows. "Yeah, I know Edward. We are actually getting married next week."

She paled and faked a smile. "Well congratulations. That's just…wow."

I looked around for Alice and Rosalie and found them on the dance floor dancing seductively with each other. _Damn it, of course they wouldn't be able to save me. _I wanted to burn out my eyes but forced them to look back at Lexie. "How do you know, Edward?"

She hesitated. "I used to live in Chicago before I moved back here a few months ago."

I noticed her eagerness to leave as I prodded her further. "Oh, is that so? Did you meet Edward at the hospital then?"

"Um, sort of?"

I was done beating around the bush. Out of all the people at this bar, I had to run into the one that knew my fiancé. Wonderful. "Lexie, how do you know my fiancé?"

She sighed and pulled me over to a secluded corner of the bar near the windows. It was slightly quieter here but not by much. "I'm sorry Bella, especially since I just met you." She stalled as I raised my eyebrows at her silence. I tapped my foot impatiently.

"I slept with him about a year ago. It was just a one night thing and he never called again." My breath halted. I knew that Edward slept with a few women in Chicago and it wasn't like I've only ever slept with Edward either. It's different when you hear it from a random stranger.

She continued in a rush. "I'm really sorry, Bella. You seem like a great girl and a great mother, I just didn't want to lie to you. I shouldn't have said anything. Please pretend like this never happened. Have a great night." Before I knew it, she was deep into the club and I didn't see her for the rest of the night.

I think I was in shock, I wasn't completely sure. I kept seeing flashes of Edward and Lexie together and I couldn't stop it. I just wanted to bleach my brain and tried to think back to the facts that we were getting married next week and we had a beautiful daughter and baby on the way. Edward and I had a life together and all Edward and Lexie had together was a one night fling that was a year ago. It didn't mean anything.

Right?

I handed the cab driver way more money than necessary to continue to drive and drop of a sleeping Alice and Rosalie. I warned Emmett and Jasper that their wives were on their way home and were thoroughly intoxicated. Wishing them a good night, I unlocked the door and set down my keys and purse on the foyer table.

I rubbed my sore feet as I slipped off my ridiculous shoes and my leather jacket. As I walked down the hallway into the kitchen, I saw Edward come over to me with a smile on his face and arms open from the living room.

"Hey baby," he said as he wrapped his arms around me. "How was your night?"

I hugged him back weakly as I tried to get the flashes out of my head. It was hypocritical of me to be angry with him, as I had done the same things when he was away. Of course you would have to limit mine to only a couple where as Edward apparently acted like a man whore.

"It was good. I actually made a new friend." I pulled away from him and grabbed a glass from the cabinet and filled it with the filtered water from the fridge. I leaned against the counter, enjoying the cold water cooling my flushed body from the hot club.

Edward moved to lean across from me as he folded his arms across his chest. "That's really great, baby. What's her name? Are you going to hang out with her again?"

My temper flared irrationally as I began to speak eerily calm. "Her name was Lexie. Maybe you know her? She's from Chicago."

He laughed. "I don't know everyone from Chicago, Bells."

I laughed harshly at him as I slammed the glass down on the counter startling him. "Oh, I think you know this girl, Edward."

His eyebrows furrowed as he looked at me confused. "What the hell is wrong, Bella?"

"I introduced myself when I accidently spilt her drink backing into her. I told her my name was Bella Cullen on accident and she asked me if I knew you."

His arms fell to his sides as he began to get angry. "Are you going to get to the point here, Bella? I don't even know this girl and I really don't understand why you're so angry?"

I walked toward him slowly and poked him in the chest, hard. "You don't know a girl you slept with Edward? I guess she wasn't that memorable."

His face paled as he began to stumble and walk toward the kitchen entry way. I followed slowly in front of him as he backed away. Recognition flashed in his eyes as he fumbled his words. "Bella, that was a long time ago. It was only one night. I'm really sorry you had to find out that way."

The sadness in his eyes almost made me crack but the hormones were flowing deep now. "I'm glad she remembered you though. I see that you're still remembered in bed by women everywhere."

"Bella, I left and I didn't think we were ever going to get back together. I'm really sorry that you found out when I should have told you. I wasn't celibate when I was in Chicago, but every time I wished it were you and that we could be together again. I promise."

I calmed myself down and walked past him and up the stairs. He followed behind me and began to yell up to me. "Bella, baby, come on. I'm really sorry. Please, can we talk about this?"

I turned my body back towards him. "No we can't. I can't look at you now without wanting to bleach out my eyes and declare insanity. I'm not even really mad about you and Lexie, Edward. I'm mad that you weren't a man enough to admit your past and that I had to find out from some stranger you slept with a year ago." I sighed and walked down one step towards him. "What's worse is that it wasn't me."

He frowned and looked up at me. I shook my head. "Forget it, I'm going to bed. We'll talk in the morning." And with that, I turned on my heels and ran up the rest of the stairs. I knew it was bad to go to bed angry and honestly, we had bigger things to deal with. There was a crazed person in our lives trying to destroy everything we had built and here I was, doing the same thing as them but better. It was self-sabotage and I kept waiting for the other shoe to drop on the perfect man that was Edward Cullen. He is not faultless by any means, so why am I holding this against him?

I slipped into my pajamas and let sleep over take me and hoped it would clear my head and the emptiness I felt. This was the night of my first real fight with Edward Cullen.

* * *

**Disclaimer: S. Meyer owns all things Twilight. I own a weirdly long chapter and the first two seasons of Bones I just bought yesterday. This is an original work of DevonAshleigh and cannot be copied, duplicated or plagiarized without specific written authorization from the author. Copyright 2011 DevonAshleigh **

**A/N: **Hello ladies and gents! Here's another chapter of BTW and I hope you enjoy it. It took a little longer to post than the last one, but in all fairness, it is longer. (Hehehe). Anyways, I do have the next two days off from work with the exception of today and I hope to use that time to write another chapter for you guys. You should probably expect it to be given to my beta maybe Thursday or Friday night (if I have time to finish it on my days off) and posting it later on the weekend. I'll do the best I can :).

Thanks to my beta LittleMissInnocence, she has been a great help with this chapter especially. Apparently, I was exhausted while writing it because there was quite a lot of mistakes. Oh well. Thanks for taking the time, Miss. xoxo

Okay, well, I'm going to cut this short and start getting ready. I hope you guys enjoy it and please review at the end. It only takes a few words just to see if you guys are liking it or think some things need to be changed. I never really had a plan for this story, although I do know the basic outline of how I want the ending to be. Next chapter will be in EPOV for the wedding. I believe only he can explain how amazing it will be. Until next time, dears!

Love,

Devonashleigh xoxo.


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